Why is a child aggressive 5 years. Children's aggression. Definition of aggressiveness in children

The kid is always associated with a small benevolent who willingly makes contact with others. What is the surprise of parents when their child receives numerous complaints, and one day mom and dad see the child's aggression towards other children. Why are such huge changes taking place?

Aggression in children requires mandatory correction

Definition of aggressiveness in children

Aggression is destructive behavior directed at other people, which brings physical and moral suffering. Not only surrounding parents suffer from this condition, but also the child himself, the environment is torn away from him, the baby begins to feel resentment. Negative emotions grow like a snowball, misunderstanding of others gives rise to new attacks aggressive behavior.

Types of aggression in children

It is noted that aggression is activated when the child enters the children's team. When he was in the family circle with mom and dad, he was the center of attention. IN kindergarten one teacher and at least twenty people like him.

Diseases should be ruled out in aggressive behavior nervous system. In the total number of cases of aggressive behavior, these reasons occupy a small percentage. The difficulty lies in the fact that to work with such children without a comprehensive examination and drug treatment.

Why is early education important?

In other cases, most problems can be solved with the help of education. The process of interaction with the child must begin with the first meeting. It is proved that the child remembers the treatment of parents from the first days of life. When a child has children of his own, he copies the behavior of his parents.

Aggression can start in early childhood

It has been observed why children who are underfed breast milk are often aggressive. In the history of the development of an aggressive child, there is an earlier weaning of the child.

Close contact with the mother gives the child a sense of security and tenderness, the child carries them through all childhood.

Age up to a year - aggressive child what to do?

Many adults consider aggression to be an innate quality, because many children often cry and throw a tantrum. But such a reaction of a newborn is nothing more than the ability to express their emotions. By crying, the baby expresses various emotions and needs.

Parental aggression is passed on to children

From the age of one year, the child begins to show strong emotions. The kid masters sitting, crawling, walking, says his first words. If the child does not get what he wants, he expresses his dissatisfaction with a wave of protest. If the kid seeks to get it from an adult, then anger may arise towards him, the child may hit, pinch, throw a tantrum. At this moment, older relatives try to switch the attention of the child, at first they succeed.

Why is it impossible to limit a child in desires and aspirations?

It is necessary to prepare a safe space for the baby where he could exercise. For example, a child likes to get things from a shelf in a chest of drawers. For its safety, you can close all other shelves, and put soft things without dangerous fittings on the lowest one. So the baby will fulfill his desire, remain safe.

The protest and discontent of the child is not yet true aggression, the problem may appear later. It is important from an early age not to shake the child's psyche and not to kill the desire to know the world in him.

Children between 2 and 3 years old

Each child develops individually, specifically for this age is not worth it. Your child may approach this crisis stage six months late or earlier. It is necessary to clearly monitor the signs of aggression in the behavior of the child.

From this moment on, the child distinguishes himself from other people, his personality is formed. The kid begins to say: “I myself, mine, give!”. The child shows independence, tries to do all the actions alone. You can not stop the desires of the child in this case, you will encounter resistance and misunderstanding.

Aggression can be manifested towards things, parents, strangers

The manifestation of resentment can begin because of a minor event. Aggressive child reached out for a toy, failed to grab it, at first a loud cry is heard, all attempts to calm the child are faced with irreconcilable resistance.

Why does a child react to words with aggression?

Attacks of aggression can be caused not only in response to actions, but also to words. The beginnings of this condition can be observed when the baby has a poor vocabulary. When trying to explain his desires and aspirations, he encounters misunderstanding and laughter. It is very important to treat with understanding any verbal expression of feelings by a child, otherwise the child will develop anger and resentment.

Aggression can manifest itself verbally, in actions and in hysterics.

Children from 4 years old - up to school age

With the growth and development of the baby, speech and a sense of control over their emotions and actions are improved. By this age, children skillfully begin to control their actions, as a rule, they fight less often, although some children continue physical strength sort things out. Although some continue to take away toys, fight and bite their peers.

Aggression in schoolchildren is often directed at peers

By the age of 4-5 years, children begin to actively debate. They try to humiliate the dignity of the disliked child with the help of words, they begin to call names and swear. Why is it possible to hear obscene language from the lips of a little man? Such behavior is usually absorbed by the child from family communication. It is very important not to sort things out in front of the child.

If your child is seen in this kind of aggression, it is worth having a serious talk with him and changing the relationship in the family. The best example is your own benevolent attitude. Tell your child not to humiliate the dignity of other children.

The aggressive behavior of the child speaks of an excess of emotions and energy. Perhaps it makes sense to arrange a child in a section or a circle where he will be physically and emotionally involved. In this regard, classes based on competition, martial arts, and competitions are very useful.

Teenager and aggression

Why is it difficult to work with this age group?

The most tragic stage in the development of aggression at the age of 11-14 years, if it is easier to work with a child, a greater positive response. Then in the case of aggression of the grown-up offspring, everything is much more complicated. The root of the problem is still in the family. Many parents are very busy people, they do not have enough time to sit down and just talk with their child, all communication is limited to duty phrases.

deal with teenage aggression It's not easy, you need to consult a psychologist here. A detailed conversation is needed about the importance of your work, the child is not yet working, the standard of living of all family members directly depends on your employment.

The struggle is not easy, but you need to try and believe in success. There are no hopeless situations, if you do not know what to do, look for the experience of other people and specialists.

Causes of child aggression:

The pernicious influence of human society. A person cannot exist in isolation from society. However, the people with whom we and our children interact are not always filled with kindness and positive. Due to age and lack of experience, a child is easily misled.

Cause of aggression - attitude towards the child

Problems in communication in the family since childhood. Often the cause of a child's aggression lies in discord in the family. Aggressive children often copy the behavior of adult family members. Some parents sort things out with their children, it can come to swearing and fighting. You need to learn to control your emotions and teach this child. In human society, there are many ways to solve problems, aggression, either physically or psychologically, is not welcome.

Discomfort in society is one of the causes of aggression

Mass media. This source of example for behavior haunts the child constantly. So aggressive children gradually turn into teenagers. Many scenes of violence, swearing, fights are pouring from the TV screens. A child from an early age is not protected from exposure. If there was an adult between the child and the computer, the TV, but parents always have no time. They leave communication with their beloved child for later. This is how a middle-aged child learns lessons from the media as a common truth. Today, even children's cartoons have changed priorities. Good cartoons that taught common truths are already in fashion. Today, young people rely on glibness and audacity. This way of resolving conflicts does not lead to good.

Punish your child if he really deserves it. All misconduct should not remain without your assessment, the child should not feel impunity. If the child showed himself on the positive side, then do not leave it unattended, your love and care will resonate.

What to do with an aggressive child

What mistakes should not be made when dealing with child aggression

Get a pet. Children who hate the whole world may become attached to a puppy or a kitten. Through this communication it will be easier to reach the heart of the child.

What is aggressiveness?

The word "aggression" comes from the Latin "agressio", which means "attack", "attack". The psychological dictionary provides the following definition of this term: "Aggression is a motivated destructive behavior that is contrary to the norms and rules of the existence of people in society, harming the objects of attack (animate and inanimate), causing physical and moral damage to people or causing them psychological discomfort (negative experiences, a state of tension, fear, depression, etc.)".

Causes of aggression children can be very different. Certain somatic diseases or diseases of the brain contribute to the emergence of aggressive qualities. It should be noted that upbringing in the family plays a huge role, and from the first days of a child's life. Sociologist M. Mead proved that in cases where a child is abruptly weaned and communication with the mother is minimized, such qualities as anxiety, suspicion, cruelty, aggressiveness, selfishness are formed in children. And vice versa, when softness is present in communication with a child, the child is surrounded by care and attention, these qualities are not developed.

The formation of aggressive behavior is greatly influenced by the nature of the punishments that parents usually use in response to the manifestation of anger in their child. In such situations, two polar methods of influence can be used: either condescension or severity. Paradoxically, aggressive children are equally common in parents who are too soft and who are too strict.

Studies have shown that parents who drastically suppress aggressiveness in their children, contrary to their expectations, do not eliminate this quality, but, on the contrary, nurture it, developing excessive aggressiveness in their son or daughter, which will manifest itself even in adulthood. After all, everyone knows that Evil breeds only evil, and aggression - aggression.
If parents do not pay attention to the aggressive reactions of their child at all, then he very soon begins to believe that such behavior is permissible, and single outbursts of anger imperceptibly develop into a habit of acting aggressively.

Only parents who know how to find a reasonable compromise, the "golden mean", can teach their children to cope with aggression.

Portrait of an aggressive child

In almost every kindergarten group, in every class, there is at least one child with signs of aggressive behavior. He attacks other children, calls them names and beats them, takes away and breaks toys, deliberately uses rude expressions, in a word, becomes a "thunderstorm" of the entire children's team, a source of grief for educators and parents. This rough, pugnacious, rude child is very difficult to accept for who he is, and even more difficult to understand.

However, an aggressive child, like any other, needs affection and help from adults, because his aggression is, first of all, a reflection of internal discomfort, an inability to adequately respond to the events around him.

An aggressive child often feels rejected, useless. The cruelty and indifference of parents leads to a violation parent-child relationship and instills in the soul of the child the confidence that he is not loved. "How to become loved and needed" is an insoluble problem facing the little man. So he is looking for ways to attract the attention of adults and peers. Unfortunately, these searches do not always end as we and the child would like, but he does not know how to do better.

Here is how N.L. Kryazhev’s behavior of these children: “An aggressive child, using every opportunity, ... seeks to anger his mother, teacher, peers. He “does not calm down” until the adults explode and the children enter into a fight” (1997, p. 105).

Parents and teachers do not always understand what the child is trying to achieve and why he behaves this way, although he knows in advance that he can be rebuffed by children, and punished by adults. In reality, this is sometimes only a desperate attempt to win their "place in the sun." The child has no idea how to fight for survival in this strange and cruel world in another way, how to protect himself.

Aggressive children are very often suspicious and wary, they like to shift the blame for the quarrel they started on others. For example, while playing during a walk in the sandbox, two children of the preparatory group had a fight. Roma hit Sasha with a shovel. When asked by the teacher why he did this, Roma sincerely replied: "Sasha had a shovel in his hands, and I was very afraid that he would hit me." According to the teacher, Sasha did not show any intention to offend or hit Roma, but Roma perceived this situation as threatening.

Such children often cannot assess their aggressiveness themselves. They do not notice that they instill fear and anxiety in others. On the contrary, it seems to them that the whole world wants to offend them. Thus, a vicious circle is obtained: aggressive children are afraid and hate others, and those in turn are afraid of them.

A mini-survey was conducted among older preschoolers at the Doverie PPMS Center in the city of Lomonosov, the purpose of which was to find out how they understand aggressiveness. Here are the answers given by aggressive and non-aggressive children (Table 4).

The emotional world of aggressive children is not rich enough, gloomy tones predominate in the palette of their feelings, the number of reactions even to standard situations is very limited. Most often these are defensive reactions. In addition, children cannot look at themselves from the outside and adequately assess their behavior.

Table 4. Understanding of aggressiveness by older preschoolers

Question	Answers of aggressive children	Responses of non-aggressive children
1. What kind of people do you consider aggressive?	Mom and dad, because they swear, beat, fight (50% of the children surveyed)	Indians, bandits, hunters, because they kill people and animals (63% of boys, 80% of girls)
2. What would you do if you met an aggressive adult?	Started (a) to fight", "Hit (a) would" (83% of boys, 27% of girls), "Sprayed, dirty" (36% of girls)	I just walked past, turned away" (83% of boys, 40% of girls), "I would call my friends for help" (50% of girls)
3. What would you do if you met an aggressive boy (girl)?	I would start to fight" (92% of boys, 54% of girls), "I would run away" (36% of girls)	Would leave (la), run away (a) "(83% of boys, 50% of girls)
4. Do you consider yourself aggressive?	"No" - 88% of boys, 54% of girls "Yes" - 12% of boys, 46% of girls	"No" 92% boys, 100% girls. "Yes" - 8% of boys

Thus, children often adopt aggressive forms of behavior from their parents.

How to identify an aggressive child

Aggressive children need the understanding and support of adults, so our main task is not to make an "accurate" diagnosis, let alone "stick a label", but to provide all possible and timely assistance to the child.

As a rule, it is not difficult for educators and teachers to determine which of the children has an increased level of aggressiveness. But in controversial cases, you can use the criteria for determining aggressiveness, which were developed by American psychologists M. Alvord and P. Baker.

Aggressiveness Criteria (Child Observation Scheme)
Child:

1. Often loses control of himself.
2. Often argues, swears with adults.
3. Often refuses to follow the rules.
4. Often deliberately annoying people.
5. Often blames others for their mistakes.
6. Often gets angry and refuses to do anything.
7. Often envious, vengeful.
8. Sensitive, reacts very quickly to various actions of others (children and adults), which often irritate him.

It is possible to assume that a child is aggressive only if for at least 6 months at least 4 of the 8 listed signs were manifested in his behavior.

A child whose behavior is observed a large number of signs of aggressiveness, you need the help of a specialist: a psychologist or a doctor.

In addition, in order to identify aggressiveness in a child in a kindergarten group or in a classroom, you can use a special questionnaire developed for educators (Lavrentyeva G.P., Titarenko T.M., 1992).

Criteria for aggressiveness in a child (questionnaire)

1. At times, it seems that an evil spirit has moved into him.
2. He cannot remain silent when he is dissatisfied with something.
3. When someone harms him, he will definitely try to repay the same.
4. Sometimes he wants to curse for no reason.
5. It happens that he breaks toys with pleasure, breaks something, guts.
6. Sometimes he insists on something so much that others lose their patience.
7. He is not averse to teasing animals.
8. It's hard to get over him.
9. He gets very angry when he thinks that someone is playing a joke on him.
10. Sometimes he has a desire to do something bad, shocking others.
11. In response to the usual orders tends to do the opposite.
12. Often grouchy beyond his age.
13. He perceives himself as independent and decisive.
14. He likes to be the first, to command, to subjugate others.
15. Failures cause him strong irritation, a desire to find the guilty ones.
16. Easily quarrels, gets into a fight.
17. Tries to communicate with the younger and physically weaker.
18. He has frequent bouts of gloomy irritability.
19. Does not consider peers, does not concede, does not share.
20. I am confident that any task will perform best.

A positive response to each proposed statement is worth 1 point.
High aggressiveness - 15-20 points.
Average aggressiveness -7-14 points.
Low aggressiveness -1-6 points.

We present these criteria so that the educator or teacher, having identified an aggressive child, can later develop his own strategy of behavior with him, help him adapt in the children's team.

How to help an aggressive child

Why do you think children fight, bite and push, and sometimes, in response to any, even benevolent, treatment, "explode" and rage?

There can be many reasons for this behavior. But often children act in this way because they do not know how to act differently. Unfortunately, their behavioral repertoire is quite limited, and if we give them the opportunity to choose ways to behave, children will gladly respond to the offer, and our communication with them will become more effective and enjoyable for both parties.

This advice (giving you a choice of how to interact) is especially relevant when it comes to aggressive children. Job educators and teachers with this category of children should be carried out in three directions:

1. Dealing with anger. Teaching aggressive children acceptable ways to express anger.
2. Teaching children the skills of recognition and control, the ability to control themselves in situations that provoke outbursts of anger.
3. Formation of the ability for empathy, trust, sympathy, empathy, etc.

Dealing with Anger

What is anger? This is a feeling of intense resentment, which is accompanied by a loss of control over oneself. Unfortunately, in our culture, it is generally accepted that the expression of anger is an unworthy reaction. Already in childhood adults inspire us with this idea - parents, grandparents, teachers. However, psychologists do not recommend holding back this emotion every time, because in this way we can become a kind of "piggy bank of anger." In addition, having driven anger inside, a person, most likely, sooner or later will still feel the need to throw it out. But not on the one who caused this feeling, but on the “turned up under the arm” or on the one who is weaker and will not be able to fight back. Even if we try hard and do not succumb to the seductive way of "eruption" of anger, our "piggy bank", replenished day by day with new negative emotions, one day can still "burst". And not necessarily this will end in hysteria and screams. Negative feelings that break free can “settle” inside us, which will lead to various somatic problems: headaches, stomach and cardiovascular diseases. K. Izard (1999) publishes clinical data obtained by Holt, which indicate that a person who constantly suppresses his anger is more at risk of psychosomatic disorders. According to Holt, unexpressed anger can be one of the causes of diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, urticaria, psoriasis, stomach ulcers, migraine, hypertension, etc.

That is why anger must be released. Of course, this does not mean that everyone is allowed to fight and bite. It's just that we have to learn and teach children how to express anger in acceptable, non-destructive ways.
Since the feeling of anger most often arises as a result of restriction of freedom, then at the moment of the highest "heat of passions" it is necessary to allow the child to do something that, perhaps, is usually not welcomed by us. And here much depends on the form in which - verbal or physical - the child expresses his anger.

For example, in a situation where a child is angry with a peer and calls him names, you can draw the offender together with him, depict him in the form and in the situation in which the "offended" wants. If the child knows how to write, you can let him sign the drawing as he wants, if he does not know how, make a signature under his dictation. Of course, such work should be carried out one on one with the child, out of sight of the opponent.

This method of working with verbal aggression is recommended by V. Oklender. In her book "Windows to the World of a Child" (M., 1997), she describes her own experience of applying this approach. After doing this, the children preschool age(6-7 years old) usually experience relief.

True, in our society such "free" communication is not welcome, especially the use of swear words and expressions by children in the presence of adults. But as practice shows, without expressing everything that has accumulated in the soul and on the tongue, the child will not calm down. Most likely, he will shout insults in the face of his "enemy", provoking him to retaliate and attracting more and more "spectators". As a result, the conflict of two children will develop into a group or even a violent fight.

Perhaps a child not satisfied with the current situation, who for one reason or another is afraid to enter into open opposition, but nevertheless longs for revenge, will choose another path: he will persuade his peers not to play with the offender. This behavior works like a time bomb. Inevitably, a group conflict will flare up, only it will "mature" longer and cover a larger number of participants. The method proposed by V. Oklander can help to avoid many troubles and will contribute to the resolution of the conflict situation.

Example
The preparatory group of the kindergarten was attended by two girlfriends - two Alena: Alena S. and Alena E. They have been inseparable since nursery group but, nevertheless, they swore endlessly and even fought. Once, when the psychologist entered the group, he saw that Alena S., not listening to her teacher, who was trying to calm her down, was throwing everything that came to her hand and shouting that she hated everyone. The arrival of a psychologist was most welcome. Alena S., who was very fond of entering the psychological office, "let herself be taken away."
In the psychologist's office, she was given the opportunity to choose her own occupation. First, she took a huge inflatable mallet and began to hit the walls and floor with all her might, then she pulled out two rattles from the toy box and began to rattle them with delight. Alena did not answer the psychologist's questions about what happened and with whom she was angry, but she agreed with pleasure to the offer to draw together. The psychologist drew a big house, and the girl exclaimed: "I know, this is our kindergarten!"

No further help from an adult was needed: Alena began to draw and explain her drawings. First, a sandbox appeared, in which small figures were located - the children of the group. Nearby there was a flower bed, a house, a gazebo. The girl drew more and more small parts, as if delaying the moment when it would be necessary to draw something important for her. After some time, she drew a swing and said: "That's it. I don't want to draw anymore." However, after wandering around the office, she again went to the sheet and painted on the swing a little, very little girl. When asked by a psychologist who it was, Alena at first answered that she did not know herself, but then she added, thinking: "This is Alena E .. Let her ride. I allow her." Then she painted the dress of her rival for a long time, first drew a bow in her hair, and then even a crown on her head, while explaining how good and kind Alena E. is. But then the artist suddenly stopped and gasped: “Ah!!! Alena fell off the swing! What will happen now? they will scold her today, and maybe even beat her with a belt and put her in a corner. The crown fell off, rolled into the bushes (the painted golden crown suffers the same fate as the dress). Fu, face is dirty, nose is broken (everything is painted over with a red pencil face), her hair was disheveled (instead of a neat pigtail with a bow, a halo of black scribbles appears in the figure). She was fooling, who would play with her, with such a one now? So she should! "I also know how to command. Let her go wash now, and we are not as dirty as she is, we will all play together, without her." Alena, quite satisfied, draws next to the defeated enemy a group of children surrounding the swing on which she, Alena S., sits. Then she suddenly draws another figure next to her. "This is Alena E .. She has already washed up," she explains and asks, "Can I go to the group already?" Probably, during the walk, two inseparable Alenas, as always, fought for leadership.This time, the sympathies of the "spectators" were on the side of Alena E. Having expressed her anger on paper, her rival calmed down and resigned herself to what was happening.

Of course, in this situation it was possible to use another method, the main thing is that the child gets the opportunity in an acceptable way to get rid of the anger that overwhelms him.

Another way to help children legally express verbal aggression is to play the game of name-calling with them. Experience shows that children who have the opportunity to throw out with the permission of the teacher negative emotions, and after that, those who heard something pleasant about themselves, the desire to act aggressively decreases.

The so-called "Screaming Pouch" (in other cases - "Screaming Cup", "Magic Trumpet "Scream", etc.) can help children express anger in an accessible way, and the teacher can easily conduct a lesson. Before the start of the lesson, every child who wishes can come up to the "Screaming Bag" and scream into it as loudly as possible. Thus, he "gets rid" of his cry for the duration of the lesson. After the lesson, children can "pick up" their cry back. Usually, at the end of the lesson, children with jokes and laughter leave the contents of the "Bag" to the teacher as a keepsake.

In the arsenal of every teacher, of course, there are many ways to work with verbal manifestations of anger. We have listed only those that have proven effective in our practice. However, children are not always limited to verbal (verbal) reactions to events. Very often, impulsive children first use their fists, and only then come up with offensive words. In such cases, we should also teach children to deal with their physical aggression.

An educator or teacher, seeing that the children are "opened up" and are ready to join the "battle", can instantly react and organize, for example, sports competitions in running, jumping, throwing balls. Moreover, offenders can be included in one team or be in rival teams. It depends on the situation and the depth of the conflict. At the end of the competition, it is best to have a group discussion during which each child will be able to express the feelings that accompany him during the task.

Of course, holding competitions and relay races is not always advisable. In this case, you can use the tools at hand, which you need to equip each group of the kindergarten and each class. Light balls that a child can throw at a target; soft pillows that an angry child can kick, beat; rubber mallets, which can be used with all their might to hit the wall and floor; Newspapers that can be crumpled and tossed without fear of smashing or destroying anything can all help reduce emotional and muscle tension if we teach children how to use them in emergency situations.

It is clear that in the classroom during a lesson, a child cannot kick a tin can if he was pushed by a neighbor on his desk. But each student can start, for example, "Leaf of anger" (Fig. 2). Usually it is a format sheet, which depicts some funny monster with a huge trunk, long ears or eight legs (at the discretion of the author). The owner of the leaf at the moment of the greatest emotional stress can crush, break it. This option is suitable if a fit of anger seized the child during the lesson.

However, most often conflict situations arise at breaks. Then you can have group games with children (some of them are described in the section "How to play with aggressive children"). Well, in a kindergarten group, it is desirable to have something like this arsenal of toys: inflatable dolls, rubber hammers, toy weapons.

True, many adults do not want their children to play with pistols, rifles and sabers, even toys. Some mothers do not buy weapons for their sons at all, and educators forbid bringing them to the group. It seems to adults that games with weapons provoke children to aggressive behavior, contribute to the appearance and manifestation of cruelty.

However, it is no secret to anyone that even if the boys do not have pistols and machine guns, most of them will still play war, using rulers, sticks, clubs, tennis rackets instead of toy weapons. The image of a male warrior, living in the imagination of every boy, is impossible without the weapon that adorns him. Therefore, from century to century, from year to year, our children (and not always just boys) play war. And who knows, maybe this is a harmless way to vent your anger. In addition, everyone knows that it is the forbidden fruit that is especially sweet. By persistently banning gun games, we thereby contribute to arousing interest in this type of game. Well, for those parents who still oppose pistols, machine guns, bayonets, we can advise: let them try to offer their child a worthy alternative. Suddenly it works! Moreover, there are many ways to work with anger and relieve the physical stress of the child. For example, games with sand, water, clay.

From clay, you can mold a figure of your offender (or you can even scratch his name with something sharp), break it, crumple it, flatten it between your palms, and then restore it if you wish. Moreover, it is precisely the fact that a child, at his own request, can destroy and restore his work, and attracts children most of all.

Playing with sand, as well as with clay, is also very popular with the children. Angry at someone, the child can bury a figurine symbolizing the enemy deep in the sand, jump in this place, pour water there, cover it with cubes, sticks. For this purpose, children often use small toys from Kinder Surprises. And sometimes they first put the figurine in a capsule and only after that they bury it.

Burying and digging toys, working with loose sand, the child gradually calms down, returns to games in a group or invites peers to play in the sand with him, but in other, completely non-aggressive games. Thus the world is restored.

Small water pools located in the kindergarten group are a real find for the teacher when working with all categories of children, especially aggressive ones.
Much has been written about the psychotherapeutic properties of water. good books, and every adult probably knows how to use water to relieve aggression and excessive tension in children. Here are some examples water games that the children have come up with.

1. With one rubber ball, knock down other balls floating on the water.
2. Blow the boat out of the pipe. First, drown, and then watch how a light plastic figure "jumps" out of the water.
3. Shoot down light toys that are in the water with a jet of water (for this you can use shampoo bottles filled with water).

We have considered the first direction in work with aggressive children, which can be conditionally called "work with anger". I would like to note that anger does not necessarily lead to aggression, but the more often a child or adult experiences a feeling of anger, the higher the likelihood of manifestation various forms aggressive behaviour.

Teaching skills to recognize and control negative emotions
The next very responsible and no less important area is teaching the skills to recognize and control negative emotions. Not always an aggressive child admits that he is aggressive. Moreover, in the depths of his soul, he is sure of the opposite: that everyone around is aggressive. Unfortunately, such children cannot always adequately assess their condition, and even more so the condition of those around them.
As noted above, the emotional world of aggressive children is very poor. They can hardly name just a few basic emotional states, and they do not even assume the existence of others (or their shades). It is not difficult to guess that in this case it is difficult for children to recognize their own and other people's emotions.

To train the skill of recognizing emotional states, you can use cutting templates, sketches by M.I. Chistyakova (1990), exercises and games developed by N.L. Kryazheva (1997), as well as large tables and posters depicting various emotional states.

In the group or class where such a poster is located, the children will definitely come up to it before the start of classes and indicate their condition, even if the teacher does not ask them about it, since each of them is pleased to draw the attention of an adult to themselves.

You can teach children to follow the reverse procedure: to come up with the names of the emotional states depicted on the poster. Children must indicate what mood the funny little men are in.

Another way to teach a child to recognize his emotional state and develop the need to talk about it is drawing. Children can be asked to make drawings on the topics: "When I am angry", "When I am happy", "When I am happy", etc. To this end, place on an easel (or just on a large sheet on the wall) pre-drawn figures of people depicted in various situations, but without traced faces. Then the child can, if desired, come up and complete the drawing.

In order for children to be able to correctly assess their condition, and at the right time to manage it, it is necessary to teach each child to understand himself, and above all - the sensations of his body. First, you can practice in front of the mirror: let the child say what mood he is in this moment and what he feels. Children are very sensitive to the signals of their body and easily describe them. For example, if a child is angry, he most often defines his condition as follows: “Heart is pounding, it tickles in the stomach, I want to scream in my throat, it’s as if needles are pricked in my fingers, my cheeks are hot, my palms itch, etc.”

We can teach children to accurately assess the emotional state, and therefore, to respond in time to the signals that the body gives us. The director of the film Denis the Menace, Dave Rogers, many times throughout the action draws the attention of the audience to hidden signal, which is served by the main character of the film - six-year-old Denis. Every time, before the boy is mischievous, we see his restless running fingers, which the cameraman shows in close-up. Then we see the "burning" eyes of the child, and only after that another prank follows.

Thus, the child, if he correctly "decodes" the message of his body, he will be able to understand: "My condition is close to critical. Wait for the storm." And if the child also knows several acceptable ways to express anger, he may have time to accept correct solution thus preventing conflict.

Of course, teaching a child to recognize his own emotional state and its management will be successful only if it is carried out systematically, day by day, for a fairly long time.

In addition to the methods of work already described, the teacher can use others: to talk with the child, draw and, of course, play. The section "How to play with aggressive children" describes the games recommended in such situations, but I would like to talk about one of them in more detail.

For the first time we got acquainted with this game by reading the book by K. Fopel "How to teach children to cooperate" (M., 1998). It's called "Pebble in the Shoe". At first, the game seemed to us quite difficult for preschoolers, and we offered it to teachers in grades 1-2 to play during extracurricular activities. However, feeling the interest of the guys and serious attitude to the game, we tried to play it in kindergarten. I liked the game. Moreover, very soon it moved from the category of games to the category of daily rituals, the conduct of which became absolutely necessary for the successful course of life in the group.

It is useful to play this game when one of the children is offended, angry, upset, when internal experiences prevent the child from doing business, when a conflict in the group is brewing. Each participant has the opportunity during the game to verbalize, that is, to express in words, his state, and to inform others about it. This helps to reduce his emotional stress. If there are several instigators of the brewing conflict, they will be able to hear about each other's feelings and experiences, which, perhaps, will help smooth the situation.

The game takes place in two stages.

Stage 1 (preparatory). Children sit in a circle on the carpet. The teacher asks: "Guys, did it happen that a pebble fell into your shoe?" Usually children are very active in answering the question, since almost every child of 6-7 years old has a similar life experience. Around the circle, everyone shares their impressions of how it happened. As a rule, the answers boil down to the following: “At first, the pebble does not interfere very much, we try to move it away, find a comfortable position for the leg, but pain and discomfort gradually increase, a wound or callus may even appear. And then, even if we really don’t want to, we you have to take off your shoe and shake out the stone, which is almost always quite tiny, and we even wonder how such small object could cause us so much pain. It seemed to us that there was a huge stone with razor-sharp edges."

Next, the teacher asks the children: "Did it happen that you didn’t shake out the pebble, but when you came home, you just took off your shoes?" Children answer that this has already happened to many. Then the pain subsided in the leg freed from the boot, the incident was forgotten. But the next morning, putting our foot into the boot, we suddenly felt a sharp pain, in contact with the ill-fated pebble. Pain, moreover, stronger than the day before, resentment, anger - these are the feelings usually experienced by children. So a small problem becomes a big problem.

Stage 2. The teacher tells the children: “When we are angry, preoccupied, excited about something, we perceive it as a small pebble in a shoe. If we immediately feel uncomfortable, pull it out of there, then the leg will remain unharmed. we are likely to have problems, and a lot of them.Therefore, it is useful for all people - both adults and children - to talk about their problems as soon as they notice them.

Let's agree: if one of you says: "I have a pebble in my shoe", we will all immediately understand that something is bothering you, and we can talk about it. Think about whether you feel any displeasure right now, something that would interfere with you. If you feel, tell us, for example: "I have a stone in my shoe. I don't like that Oleg breaks my constructions from cubes." Tell me what else you don't like. If nothing bothers you, you can say: "I don't have a pebble in my shoe."

Children in a circle tell what is preventing them at the moment, describe their feelings. Separate "pebbles" that the children will talk about, it is useful to discuss in a circle. In this case, each participant in the game offers a peer who is in a difficult situation a way to get rid of the "pebble".

After playing this game several times, children later feel the need to talk about their problems. In addition, the game helps the teacher to freely conduct the learning process. After all, if children are worried about something, this “something” will not allow them to sit quietly in class and perceive information. If the children get the opportunity to speak out, "let off steam", then you can safely start classes. The game "Pebble in the Shoe" is especially useful for anxious children. First, if you play it daily, even very shy child get used to and gradually begin to talk about their difficulties (because this is not a new and dangerous, but a familiar and repetitive activity). Secondly, an anxious child, listening to stories about peer problems, will understand that he is not the only one suffering from fears, insecurities, resentments. It turns out that other children have the same problems as him. So, he is the same as everyone else, not worse than everyone else. No need to withdraw into yourself, because any, even the most difficult situation, can be resolved by joint efforts. And the children who surround him are not at all evil and are always ready to help.

When the child learns to recognize his own emotions and talk about them, you can move on to the next stage of work.

Formation of the ability to empathy, trust, sympathy, empathy

Aggressive children tend to have low levels of empathy. Empathy is the ability to feel the state of another person, the ability to take his position. Aggressive children most often do not care about the suffering of others, they cannot even imagine that other people can feel unpleasant and bad. It is believed that if the aggressor can sympathize with the "victim", his aggression next time will be weaker. Therefore, the work of a teacher in developing a child's sense of empathy is so important.

One of the forms of such work can be a role-playing game, during which the child gets the opportunity to put himself in the place of others, to evaluate his behavior from the outside. For example, if there was a quarrel or a fight in the group, you can analyze this situation in a circle by inviting the Kitten and the Tiger Cub or any literary heroes known to the children to visit. In front of the children, the guests act out a quarrel similar to the one that occurred in the group, and then ask the children to reconcile them. Children offer different ways to get out of the conflict. You can divide the guys into two groups, one of which speaks on behalf of the Tiger Cub, the other on behalf of the Kitten. You can give children the opportunity to choose for themselves whose position they would like to take and whose interests to protect. Whatever specific form of role-playing you choose, it is important that in the end, children will acquire the ability to take the position of another person, recognize his feelings and experiences, learn how to behave in difficult situations. life situations. A general discussion of the problem will help to unite the children's team and establish a favorable psychological climate in the group.

During such discussions, you can play out other situations that most often cause conflicts in the team: how to react if a friend does not give you the toy you need, what to do if you are teased, what to do if you are pushed and you fall, etc. Purposeful and patient work in this direction will help the child to be more understanding of the feelings and actions of others and learn to adequately relate to what is happening.

In addition, you can invite children to organize a theater by asking them to act out certain situations, for example: "How Malvina quarreled with Pinocchio." However, before showing any scene, the children should discuss why the characters in the tale behaved in one way or another. It is necessary that they try to put themselves in the place of fairy-tale characters and answer the questions: "What did Pinocchio feel when Malvina put him in a closet?", "What did Malvina feel when she had to punish Pinocchio?" and etc.

Such conversations will help children realize how important it is to be in the place of a rival or offender in order to understand why he acted the way he did and not otherwise. By learning to empathize with the people around him, an aggressive child will be able to get rid of the suspicion and suspiciousness that cause so much trouble to both the "aggressor" himself and those who are close to him. And as a result, he will learn to take responsibility for his actions, and not shift the blame on others.

True, adults working with an aggressive child will also do well to get rid of the habit of blaming him for all mortal sins. For example, if a child throws toys in anger, you can, of course, say to him: "You are a scoundrel! You are nothing but problems. You always prevent all children from playing!" But it is unlikely that such a statement will reduce the emotional stress of the "scoundrel." On the contrary, a child who is already sure that no one needs him and the whole world is against him will become even more angry. In this case, it is much more useful to tell the child about your feelings, using the pronoun "I" rather than "you." For example, instead of "Why didn't you put the toys away?", you can say: "I get upset when the toys are scattered."

Thus, you do not blame the child for anything, do not threaten him, do not even give an assessment of his behavior. You talk about yourself, about your feelings. As a rule, such a reaction of an adult first shocks the child, who expects a hail of reproaches against him, and then arouses in him a sense of trust. There is an opportunity for a constructive dialogue.

Working with parents of an aggressive child

When working with aggressive children, the educator or teacher must first establish contact with the family. He can either give recommendations to parents himself, or in a tactful manner suggest that they seek help from psychologists.

There are situations when contact with the mother or father cannot be established. In such cases, we recommend using visual information that can be placed in the parent corner. Table 5 below is an example of such information.

Such a table or other visual information can be a starting point for parents to think about their child, about the causes of negative behavior. And these reflections, in turn, may lead to cooperation with educators and with the teacher.

Table 5 Parenting styles (in response to the child's aggressive actions)

Parenting strategy	Specific Strategy Examples	Child behavior style	Why is the child doing this?
Abrupt suppression of aggressive behavior of the child	Stop!" "Don't you dare say that" Parents punish the child	Aggressive (Child may stop now but will vent negative emotions at another time and place)	The child copies the parents and learns from them aggressive forms of behavior
Ignoring the child's aggressive outbursts	Parents pretend not to notice the child's aggression or believe that the child is still small	Aggressive (Child continues to act aggressively)	The child thinks that he is doing everything right, and aggressive forms of behavior are fixed in a character trait.
Parents give the child the opportunity to throw out aggression in an acceptable way and in a tactful way forbid to behave aggressively towards others.	If parents see that the child is angry, they can involve him in a game that will remove his anger. Parents explain to the child how to behave in certain situations	Your child will most likely learn to manage their anger.	The child learns to analyze different situations and takes an example from his tactful parents

The main purpose of such information is to show parents that one of the reasons for the manifestation of aggression in children may be the aggressive behavior of the parents themselves. other disciplinary influences on the child are expected in the near future and when the child enters adolescence.

How to get along with a child who is constantly acting defiantly? Helpful Tips We found parents on the pages of R. Campbell's book "How to deal with a child's anger" (M., 1997). We recommend this book to both teachers and parents. R. Campbell identifies five ways to control a child's behavior: two of them are positive, two are negative, and one is neutral. Positive methods include requests and gentle physical manipulation (for example, you can distract the child, take him by the hand and take him away, etc.).

Behavior modification - a neutral way of control - involves the use of rewards (for the implementation of certain rules) and punishment (for ignoring them). But this system should not be used too often, as subsequently the child begins to do only what he receives a reward for.

Frequent punishments and orders are negative ways to control a child's behavior. They cause him to suppress his anger excessively, which contributes to the appearance of passive-aggressive traits in the character. What is passive aggression and what dangers does it contain? This is a hidden form of aggression, its purpose is to piss off, upset parents or loved ones, and the child can harm not only others, but also himself. He will begin to study poorly on purpose, in retaliation to his parents to put on those things that they do not like, he will be naughty on the street for no reason. The main thing is to unbalance the parents. To eliminate such forms of behavior, a system of rewards and punishments must be thought out in every family. When punishing a child, it must be remembered that this measure of influence should in no case humiliate the dignity of a son or daughter. Punishment should follow immediately after the offense, and not every other day, not every other week. Punishment will have an effect only if the child himself believes that he deserved it, in addition, one misconduct cannot be punished twice.

There is another way to work effectively with a child's anger, although it may not always be applied. If parents know their son or daughter well, they can defuse the situation during a child's emotional outburst with an appropriate joke. The unexpectedness of such a reaction and the benevolent tone of an adult will help the child adequately get out of a difficult situation.

For parents who do not understand well enough how they or their children can express their anger, we recommend placing the following visual information on the board in the class or in the group (Table 6).

Table 6 "Positive and negative ways of expressing anger" (recommended by Dr. R. Campbell)

Cheat sheet for adults or rules for working with aggressive children

1. Be attentive to the needs and needs of the child.
2. Demonstrate a model of non-aggressive behavior.
3. Be consistent in punishing the child, punishing for specific actions.
4. Punishment should not humiliate the child.
5. Teach acceptable ways to express anger.
6. Give the child the opportunity to express anger immediately after the frustrating event.
7. Learn to recognize your own emotional state and the state of those around you.
8. Develop the capacity for empathy.
9. Expand the child's behavioral repertoire.
10. Develop the skill of responding to conflict situations.
11. Learn to take responsibility.

However, all of the above methods and techniques will not lead to positive changes if they are of a one-time nature. The inconsistency of parental behavior can lead to a deterioration in the child's behavior. Patience and attention to the child, his needs and needs, constant development of communication skills with others - this is what will help parents to establish relationships with their son or daughter.
Patience and good luck, dear parents!

Lyutova E.K., Monina G.B. Cheat sheet for adults

If aggressive behavior is manifested in approximately the same way in all children, then the causes of aggressiveness can vary significantly. It is conventionally customary to divide the causes of aggressiveness into biological ones (those that are caused by hereditary factors) and social (associated with the style of education and communication in the family, in kindergarten and school, etc.).

Biological prerequisites for aggressiveness

Is it possible to explain the aggressiveness of a child only by genetically programmed qualities? Abroad, there are various scientific theories in which the innate qualities of a person are called the main and only cause of aggression. In one theory, scientists argue that genes are to blame. A person allegedly behaves aggressively with those people with whom he is not related, and, on the contrary, promotes those with whom he has similar genes. Another well-known theory - the theory of drives - belongs to 3. Freud. In it, he writes about the innate preconditions for aggression. According to the theory of drives, a person has two opposite instincts: the “life instinct” (creative, associated with love and care, it is provided by libido) and the “death instinct” (destructive, destructive, expressed in anger and hatred, in passion for destruction). From what instinct prevails in a person, his behavior depends. Moreover, psychoanalysts believed that aggression is difficult to manage, it cannot be overcome, but can only be temporarily restrained and sublimated (translated into creative activity, for example). The well-known Austrian ethologist K. Lorenz (ethology is the science of animal and human behavior) believes that aggression is the basis of dominance and determines the hierarchy of relationships that is built in the struggle for power. It is a natural instinct that serves to preserve life and the species.

In domestic psychology, the theory of B. Teplov about the types of temperament is known. The type of temperament (choleric, sanguine, melancholic or phlegmatic) directly determines what character traits the child will have. And, despite the fact that there are no “pure” types of temperament, there is always a leading, basic type that determines the nature of emotional response and behavior.

Phlegmatic children least likely to be aggressive. They are emotionally balanced, calm, practically nothing and no one can piss them off. Such children are slow, they think everything over for a long time, and only then they begin to act, behave judiciously. The only thing that causes them a stressful state is the lack of time, as well as changes in their usual environment.

Phlegmatic people are very rigid (conservative, prefer the same ways of thinking and behaving). In extremely rare cases, phlegmatic can be driven to rage. If you regularly demand the impossible from him (“Get dressed faster!”, “Eat soon, we are late!”, “Well, why are you such a mess!”), Then even a peaceful phlegmatic person can “boil”.

melancholic children are also considered non-aggressive. They are very emotionally sensitive, any little thing can upset them or scare them. Such children do not tolerate any innovations, a sharp change of scenery, noisy games and competition with other children. All this causes them an acute stress state. In stress, the melancholic becomes isolated, withdraws into himself and practically becomes incapable of any productive activity. Inclined to blame himself for everything, it is the melancholic who is prone to bouts of auto-aggression (aggression directed at himself). A typical monologue of a melancholic first grader: “I'm the only one to blame for everything, everyone wrote down their homework, but I forgot, let them give me a deuce! Or get kicked out of the class forever! Because I'm the worst!" It all ends in tears. Suicide attempts in adolescence are characteristic of melancholics.

Sanguine children cheerful, optimistic, easily make new acquaintances, sociable, are the initiators of various games. Sanguine people love a change of activity, they quickly get carried away and can just as quickly quit a boring activity. In a stressful situation, they behave actively, boldly defending their own or other people's interests. Emotionally sanguine people are balanced, and therefore they rarely openly show aggression, trying to solve everything peacefully through compromise. Only when it is not possible to calmly resolve a difficult situation, a sanguine person can show aggression.

Choleric children are the most active, emotionally unbalanced, and therefore, naturally, more prone to aggression than others. By nature, they are irritable, quick-tempered, impatient, subject to frequent mood swings, it is difficult for them to do one thing for a long time, they quickly get tired. Poorly endure the waiting situation.

Cholerics quickly navigate in a new environment, instantly make decisions. However, as a rule, they act first and think later. This gives rise to many conflict situations that choleric people try to resolve with the help of a scream or a fight. Aggressive behavior in choleric people is due to their high emotional instability.

The girl, who dreamed of professionally practicing ballet, received a serious knee injury before entering the Vaganova School. The verdict of the doctors was a shock for the girl: she can never again do what she loves.

Arriving home, in a rage, she tore all her ballet costumes, threw away her pointe shoes, scattered all her things around the room and flatly refused to go to school.

In the heat of passion, choleric teens can commit suicide or delinquency.

Social prerequisites for aggressiveness

Aggressive parental behavior. We rarely realize that we are trying to raise our children the way we ourselves were raised in childhood. Therefore, if the father (or mother) of a child was beaten in childhood, then, naturally, he will consider physical punishment necessary.

One man said with a laugh that at school the teacher beat them on the hands with a ruler. Didn't learn the lesson - by the hair and head on the board! He still believes that this is the right thing to do and supports the desire of some countries to return to physical punishment in schools. He often beats his son. The boy became angry not only at his father, but at the whole world.

Consider another situation where parents have accumulated a lot of unresolved problems, life did not work out as they wanted, and they throw out all the irritation and negativism on the child. The child then gets it every day, any little thing infuriates such a parent.

One mother, after the birth of her second child, was forced to leave her beloved highly paid job and sit at home with two small children. The eldest child was very mobile, inquisitive, did not sit still for a minute. One day, going out for a walk in a new expensive suit, he slipped and fell into a puddle, hitting his knee painfully. The clothes were all dirty. Mom immediately cursed, yelled at her son, and when he started crying, she hit him hard in the face, breaking his lip. This woman has a higher education and loving husband. I knew this boy from birth and saw that the older he gets, the more aggressiveness is manifested in his behavior, both towards people and towards animals.

Parents who humiliate their children by publicly insulting them form a child's low self-esteem, self-doubt and self-confidence. Remember: later on, the child will compensate for this with his aggressiveness.

Rough words, harsh tone, irritability and assault on his child embitter him. The child learns this model of parental behavior as the only possible and correct one.

Authoritarian parenting style. Some parents believe that the child is a helpless creature, and therefore it must be controlled and directed all the time. The child is driven into the framework of strict rules and norms, not allowing a single independent step. All this is done for the good of the child, as parents think. In reality, the child is deprived of the opportunity to be himself, to take the initiative. Some children react passively to such dictatorship, such children are usually shy, timid, insecure, choosing as friends (then - a marriage partner) strong personalities. Another part of the children reacts actively, accumulating displeasure and anger, splashing it out in the form of outbreaks of aggression and protest behavior. It is these children who can subsequently commit offenses, run away from home in spite of their parents, who oppressed and suppressed them.

Family conflicts. In every family, even the happiest and most harmonious, conflict situations sometimes arise. In such cases, how they are resolved and what role the baby plays in this is very important. Unfortunately, often the reason family quarrels one way or another, the child appears (adults hold different views on education, or the baby serves as an instrument for one of the parents to achieve their goals). In a family where conflicts between parents occur regularly, children do not feel safe and are constantly in suspense. They become nervous, fearful or aggressive, irritable. The most powerful shock for the psyche of the child is the divorce of the parents. The world familiar to him is collapsing, he loses a sense of security and trust in loved ones.

Serezha's parents divorced a little over a month ago.Previously, he was a calm, reasonable child who actively communicated with the children in kindergarten. After the divorce, caregivers began to constantly complain about sudden outbursts of aggression towards other children. The boy often shows irritability and stubbornness, refuses to participate in games.

Divorce. This is very stressful for a child. Parents should help the child adapt to the changes that have taken place, by demonstrating to the child that, despite the current situation in their family, he remains loved and significant in the life of each of them. It is sad that most parents are not able to cope with their emotional experiences. Being in nervous tension, they solve only their own problems and cannot pay attention to their son or daughter. Continuing to sort things out in the presence of the baby and blaming each other for the current situation, parents often try to attract the child to their side, and he, trying to draw attention to himself, often behaves defiantly and aggressively. It happens that parents throw out their irritation on the baby, pointing out those negative traits of character or appearance that the culprit of the break in relations has: “You are as sloppy as your father!”, “You are as stupid as your mother!” etc. At the same time, children in most cases tend to blame themselves for what is happening. “My parents separated because I misbehaved,” the kid suggests. In this case, the child may experience outbreaks of auto-aggression. Parents should explain to the baby the main thing: despite the fact that dad and mom will live separately, they love him and will communicate with him in the same way as before. It should be borne in mind that the reactions of girls and boys to the divorce of their parents sometimes differ: girls are more likely to have internal experiences, fears, irritability and increased anxiety, boys become aggressive and conflict.

unwanted child. Unfortunately, if the parents (especially the mother) were internally against the birth of a child, then in the future the child will always have emotional problems. Feeling unwanted, the child will try with all his might to prove that he is good, that he can do a lot. Usually such children, feeling that attempts to conquer parental love futile, become nervous, embittered and easily commit aggressive acts.

Lack of attention from parents. Modern, always busy parents who pay too little attention to an active, restless baby also run the risk of facing the problem of child aggressiveness quite early. Not wanting to go unnoticed and abandoned, the child accessible ways attracts the attention it lacks.

Loaded with work and their problems, parents usually react to the child only when he "did something." The child argues like this: “It is better for them to scold me than not to pay attention at all,” and behaves aggressively, protesting against the indifference of their parents.

By the way, aggressiveness in children can also manifest itself in the opposite situation, that is, with an excess of attention. If parents inspire the child that he is the “center of the universe”, anticipate any of his desires, indulge and indulge beyond measure, then the child, deprived of this at one fine moment, gives out an outbreak of aggression. The hardest thing for such children is in the children's team. Not getting what they want, children can fall to the floor and start screaming heart-rendingly, waving their arms and legs. This situation is perfectly described by A. Kuprin in the story “White Poodle”: “A boy of eight or ten years old jumped out onto the terrace from the inner rooms like a bomb, uttering piercing cries.<...>without stopping his screeching for a second, he fell on his stomach on the stone floor with a running start, quickly rolled onto his back and, with great ferocity, began to jerk his arms and legs in all directions.<...>Despite his extreme excitement, he still strove to get his heels into the stomachs and legs of the people fussing around him ... ".

Restrictions and prohibitions. If at home or in kindergarten a child is constantly restricted in movement or in self-expression, then by the end of the day uncontrollable aggressive behavior will be quite natural. If a child is forbidden to run, jump and make noise at home, he will do it in kindergarten, and vice versa. That is why he will be an "angel" in one place, and "God's punishment" for adults in another. Energy must find a way out. It is unnatural and extremely harmful to the health of the child to block it. “Sit quietly, don’t interfere, read, draw, calm down, finally!” An active, mobile child simply does not hear all these shouts. If you haven't given your child the opportunity to release stress naturally, they will be nervous, irritable, and aggressive.

We have examined in such detail the causes of a child's aggressiveness related to the family only because in early and preschool childhood it is the family that determines what the child's character and behavior will be like. At the same time, it cannot be denied that children's aggressiveness also depends on other causes. The formation of aggressiveness is influenced by the behavior of peers and teachers in kindergarten (school), the media (in modern society the impact of the media on the child's psyche is very high), computer addiction, background noise (it has been proven that people living near busy roads, airports, etc. have a significantly higher level of aggressiveness than residents of quiet areas), fatigue (especially chronic), lack of personal space (for example, when several generations live in a small apartment at once, and the child does not have the opportunity to retire), and many others. others

Computer games. I would like to give Special attention The most urgent problem today is “Child and computer”. This topic does not leave the pages of newspapers and magazines, they talk about it on radio and television. No one doubts that the computer is not only a useful developmental thing, but also a system that, if used incorrectly, causes irreparable harm to health. Computer addiction has long been included in the ICD-10 (International Classification of Diseases) as one of the diseases.

The son of my acquaintances from the age of 7-8 began to sit at the computer for a long time, over time he began to understand it well. Once he read a lot, talked with friends, but gradually the computer replaced everyone and everything. Now that he is 13 years old, he is ready to spend at the computer 24 hours a day. Naturally, parents try to regulate this process. However, if parents forbid sitting at the computer for more than an hour, the teenager experiences outbursts of rage and anger, he can start destroying everything in the apartment and doing everything in defiance.

This is a problem faced by at least every second parent. But the germs of this problem begin to ripen already at preschool age. Parents often ask whether it is necessary to buy a computer for a five-six-year-old child, how much time a day can a preschool child spend on it, and what can a child do at a computer? These are not idle questions. Unfortunately, the answers to them can change little in a modern life full of various electronic technology. It is convenient for a parent who is tired after work (who will argue with that!), When their child watches cartoons on a computer for 1-3 hours or more. This gives parents freedom and peace after a busy day at work. It is curious that even parents of one and a half year old children use such a “happy” opportunity to take a child!

It is believed that it is too early to buy a computer for a preschooler: he has a high need for movement, in communicating with peers, do not deprive him of these values. A preschooler can spend at the computer no more than 30 minutes a day. And than younger child, the less time he has to sit in front of the screen.

I can’t understand why the authors seek to endow the negative character with fangs, sharp teeth, horns and other attributes of aggression? Why does the outside take precedence over the inside? For example, in the old Soviet cartoon "Gray Sheika" there is a negative character - the Fox. There are other accents in this image: the children are afraid of her not for her threatening appearance, but for cunning and deceit, intonations of her voice and bad intentions. "Masha and the Bear" is a witty, funny modern cartoon that is interesting to watch for both adults and children. By the way, it perfectly reflects the psychology of the child.

Don't neglect the classics. Watch with your child kind, beautiful, bright cartoons that teach goodness: “Heron and Crane” by Y. Norshtein, “ The Snow Queen”,“ Cinderella ”,“ Thumbelina ”,“ 38 parrots ”,“ Ushastik and his friends ”,“ Crocodile Gena and Cheburashka ”,“ The Adventures of Brownie Kuzi ”,“ Shake! Hello!”, “The Bremen Town Musicians” and many others. others

Parents themselves are tired of aggressive, meaningless television for children. With the advent of the Internet, they have a wonderful opportunity to choose what their children will watch and listen to.

Do not chase fashion, do not be afraid to be behind the times, because the main thing that your child should see from computer and TV screens is kindness and beauty.

Foreign scientists have calculated that, on average, physical or verbal aggression occurs on television screens every 4 minutes. Russian scientists have also found that children who watch TV for more than 3 hours a day are more aggressive and more vulnerable to aggression from others than those who spend less than 2 hours watching TV. You decide and choose how better for the child spend your free time, but you should not forget about the connection between your child's aggressiveness and the content of media products.

Age crises

Outbursts of aggressiveness are closely related to age-related crises that a child goes through. If an adult has age-related crises every 8-10 years, then a child experiences them more often. The peak of aggressive behavior can be observed at 3-4 years and at 6-7 years. These are natural and passing moments. How do crises unfold and how to respond to them?

Crisis 3 years

I have a mother of three-year-old Lisa at the reception. She is at a loss, her husband is indignant: the child seems to have been replaced. “About her,” says my mother, “she immediately throws herself on the floor and screams, says “I don’t want” and “I won’t” to everything.

Mom doesn't know it's okay. Whims and outbreaks of aggression at 3 years old is an indicator that the child is growing, developing and making attempts to assert itself. And he should not be punished for this, he should be helped.

Especially often the aggression of a three-year-old child is manifested in connection with the dissatisfaction of immediate desires. The more difficulties encountered in their implementation, the stronger the emotional outburst of the child, especially if he wanted to do something on his own. At this moment, the baby especially needs the emotional support of an adult. The child needs to be allowed to express his negative emotions: this is an important part of his development and growing up. You should not try to immediately extinguish negative experiences, and even more so emotionally react to the affective outbursts of the baby, which happened out of place and out of time.

The crisis of 3 years has very conditional age limits. It can begin at 2-2.5 years and proceed rapidly and rapidly, or it can go unnoticed by parents even at 3 years. The form, duration and severity of the manifestation will depend on the individual characteristics of the baby, the style of upbringing, family composition, etc. It is well known that the tougher the parents behave, the more acute the crisis phenomena are. The beginning of attending a kindergarten also has an unfavorable effect on the passage of the crisis. It is believed that it is better to give the child to preschool up to 2 years, or about 4 years.

The crisis of 3 years begins with the growth of the child’s independence (“I can already do a lot myself”), when he tries to assert his “I” and establish new relationships with an adult. As a rule, adults do not have time to quickly reorganize and continue to communicate with the child as with a helpless little creature, limiting his independent attempts to achieve any goal. It is at this time that all the crisis phenomena characteristic of this age manifest themselves. It must be remembered that the more trusting and calmer the relationship of the child with the mother, the milder this crisis will be. Screaming, irritability, authoritarian parents will exacerbate the aggressive behavior of the child. Do not forget to praise the child even for small, but independent attempts to achieve results in any business - this is the key to the child's high self-esteem in the future. The child must necessarily have a feeling and experience of success, then the crisis will pass unnoticed and the child's behavior will even out.

In the unfavorable course of the crisis, associated, for example, with the wrong behavior of parents, the child may have undesirable character traits and aggressiveness, which will lead to a complication of relations with the child.

Crisis 7 years

The crisis of 7 years is a difficult period in the life of a child, when all his stereotypes change, all his ideas about the world that were formed earlier. The child, who previously behaved naively and directly, begins to comprehend his actions, to think them over in advance, the usual impulsiveness is replaced by internal concentration and the desire for even greater independence. Playing activities in kindergarten are replaced by educational ones at school, there are more rigid frameworks and rules that regulate all the activities of the child. All these transformations cannot but affect the behavior of the child. Therefore, he can often show aggressiveness in response to misunderstanding on the part of adults, failure in any activity, etc.

What to do?

Try to support and praise the child more for real successes and achievements, emphasizing that he can do a lot on his own.

Eliminate the commanding tone, be friendly.

It is necessary to jointly discuss the causes and consequences of certain actions, mistakes and ways to correct them.

Show sincere interest in the inner experiences and doubts of the child, do not ridicule his fears.

Spend more time doing art, reading, etc.

Do not focus on negative manifestations - and the child will not be interested in demonstrating them.

The most important thing is to try to be more attentive to your child, show more love, warmth, affection, tell him more often that you love him and miss him when you are not together.

Based on the materials of the book by E. I. Shapiro

When a child is born, it seems like a sweet bundle of joy and kindness. He is incapable of harming or hurting anyone. However, over time, signs of aggression in a child can be detected. To answer the question of how to deal with it, you need to identify the reasons why it arose.

An online magazine site is called, which is aimed at harming another person or destroying an object in order to satisfy one's desires. Destructive behavior is contrary to the norms of morality, decency and law. However, it should be understood that the child does not yet know all these rules and laws by which adults live. He still behaves like an instinctive animal, which does not even yet have perfect control over his body.

Aggression in children is common. We can say that it is a certain norm, especially if there are good reasons for its occurrence. For example, it has been noted that children who are deprived of maternal attention and wean quite abruptly become suspicious, selfish, cruel and anxious. If a child is brought up in an environment of love and gentleness, then the child lacks such qualities.

Often, the development of aggressiveness is affected by the state of health. If a child has chronic diseases, he has psychological deviations, or he suffers from problems with the functioning of the brain, then deviations are possible at the level of behavior.

But still, most often, aggressiveness in a child is the result of a special upbringing of parents. So, aggression occurs in a baby if the parents react in the wrong way and, as a result, punish him for showing anger. There are two common methods here:

1. Condescension.
2. Severity.

In what family do aggressive children most often grow up? Surprisingly, both there and there may appear children with aggressive character traits:

1. If parents try not to pay attention at all to how the child behaves, then over time he begins to believe that such behavior is correct.
2. If parents punish a child for aggression, constantly force it not to show it, then surprisingly the child simply learns to restrain his parents, but splash them out on those who cannot resist him. Aggression does not go away, but simply accumulates and spills out in more convenient situations.

Only if the "golden mean" in education is observed, parents are able to help the child cope with their aggression.

What is aggression in children?

Usually people react negatively to aggression. Even if a child shows it, it still causes negative emotions. What is aggression in children? This is a behavior of a negative nature, which is aimed at eliminating what the child is indignant about. So, often children are indignant because of the behavior of their parents who force them, command them, forbid them, etc. It seems that aggression in such a situation is a positive quality, since the child shows it to defend his rightness, freedom and rights. However, there are cases of aggressive behavior of children that cannot be argued with positive motives. For example, killing birds or kittens. The use of physical force against peers. How can this be explained?

Here, too, we are talking about aggression, which is expressed in destructive actions aimed at eliminating some indignation. However, often the “weak” suffer only because the child is not able to throw out his aggression on those who really cause it. Often these provocateurs are parents.

Translated from Latin, aggression means "attack", "attack". The child shows aggression as a result of the upbringing through which his parents lead him. And often aggression with erroneous upbringing becomes a trait of the child's character.

How do children themselves understand their own aggressiveness? It will be interesting for parents to know.

1. What kind of people does an aggressive child consider aggressive? Answers in 50% of cases: "Dad and mom, because they constantly swear and fight."
2. What would an aggressive child do if he met an equally aggressive peer? Answers: "I would have started to fight: soiled him, sprayed him, beat him."
3. Does an aggressive child see themselves as aggressive? The answer will be "no".

Obviously, children become aggressive only because parents behave in a similar way. In other words, children copy the behavior of their parents, doing the same things that parents would do in their place.

Aggressive children are not able to assess their behavior adequately. Moreover, their set of actions in a normal situation is quite limited. If they consider something dangerous, then their only reaction is protection. Fights, insults, spoilage - all these are ways of protection by which the child previously sought his own (defended his rights, freedom and his "I").

Why does aggression occur in children?

The reasons for which aggression occurs in children are:

1. Problems with the work of the brain, somatic diseases.
2. Indifferent attitude of parents to children, to their successes, status, interests.
3. Aggressive behavior of the parents themselves, which can manifest itself not only at home, but also among people. Children in this case simply copy the behavior of their parents.
4. Excessive excitability.
5. Low intellectual development.
6. where a child with parents or between mom and dad constantly have squabbles, there is no understanding and common interests.
7. Low self-esteem, the inability of the child to control his emotions and actions.
8. Attachment of the child to one of the parents, while aggressive behavior is shown to the second parent.
9. Preoccupation with the violent computer games, watching aggressive behavior from TV screens.
10. Lack of skills to build relationships with people.
11. Inconsistency in the upbringing of the child, the lack of a single upbringing that would be applied by both parents.

Aggression in a child is most often taken from the upbringing that is applied to him, when parents very often punish him or do not pay due attention, so he attracts him to himself with aggressive actions.

How to recognize aggression in children?

Aggression in children can be easily recognized. In the team you can find at least one child who will behave appropriately:

• Select toys.
• Call names, use rude language.
• Attack with fists.

By such behavior, they provoke other children into fights. It is difficult for adults and children to understand such a rough, rude, pugnacious child. However, it is precisely such a child who needs understanding, affection and love. Often a child becomes aggressive due to the fact that parents do not pay attention to him, do not participate in his life. Then it begins to seem to him that he is not loved, nobody needs him, he is rejected.

Aggressive behavior is a lack of self-control skills that parents should instill. Also, the child simply experiences internal contradictions, indignation, discomfort, which is reflected in destructive behavior. Wanting to find a way to get the love of his parents, he may stop at aggressive acts, because after they are committed, the parents finally pay attention to him. Even if they yell at him, it's still some of the attention he needs.

Often, aggressive behavior is the only way to win your place in the sun. If the child does not know any other way to do this, and also always achieved his own by aggressive behavior, then his actions will become his character trait.

Aggression in a child can be identified by the following criteria:

1. Loss of self control.
2. Frequent dispute and conflict.
3. Special annoyance of people.
4. Refusal to comply with the rules.
5. Blaming others for your mistakes.
6. Angry and refusal to do something.
7. Vengefulness, jealousy.
8. Sensitivity to the slightest manifestations of people around him, which he can perceive as a threat to himself.

Where does the child's aggression come from?

The child is aggressive because he lives in dysfunctional family, deprived of what he wants, tries his behavior on adults.

At 2 years old, the baby can bite. In this way, he can dominate the others. This is how he shows his strength. Also, the baby can copy the behavior of the mother, who behaves aggressively herself.

At 3 years old, aggression in children often occurs because of toys. They start shoving, pushing, spitting, fighting, throwing things. Here, parents need not to beat or separate children, but to divert their attention to something else.

At 4 years old, the baby becomes less aggressive, but he still does not know how to understand someone else's point of view. For him, the world is either bad or good. After watching the movie, the kid does not distinguish between truth and fiction. That is why parents have to explain everything to the child. He needs clear instructions and rules that he can understand.

Children at the age of 5 begin to behave aggressively, in accordance with their gender:

1. Boys use physical force.
2. Girls use verbal abuse, threats, humiliation.

From the age of 6-7, children begin to slowly learn self-control. Aggression at this age can be caused by failures, lack of love and understanding, abandonment of the baby.

How to deal with aggression in a child?

Aggression in a child should not be condoned or ignored. It needs to be eliminated. To do this, you should find out the causes of its occurrence, then eliminate them. If the baby needs parental attention, then you need to give it in situations where the child is behaving well.

Need to play with the baby role-playing games. This will help to simulate various situations from life and develop the skills of how to control your emotions and behave correctly in a situation of threat or aggression.

It is important to teach the child to splash out their negative emotions in good ways:

1. Draw your aggression and tear the drawing.
2. Beat the pillow.
3. Switch your attention to something else.

Parents should become role models for how to behave in relationships with other people. You can go in for sports to splash out excess energy. It is important to communicate with the baby in a friendly way and spend time with him.

Outcome

Aggression is a natural reaction in a child who is indignant. If parents do nothing to eliminate it, then aggressive behavior will be fixed, because only in this way the child will be able to throw out his accumulated indignation. If adults fail to change the behavior of the child, then you should seek help from a child psychologist.

What are the causes of child aggression? What to do if the child behaves aggressively?

"He got into a fight!" a kindergarten teacher exclaims in a dramatic voice. Under barely restrained maternal annoyance, the little man returns home. There on family council his fate will be decided: the fate of a person who has committed an unforgivable aggressive act.

Modern society dictates its own rules of the game to us. And what a father would have praised 100 years ago today causes panic in parents. What is child aggression? Is it worth it to fight? And if so, how.

Types of aggression in children

According to the most common interpretation, child aggression is behavior directed at others or at oneself, and associated with harm. Depending on how this behavior is manifested, the following types of aggression are distinguished:

• Verbal- the child screams, swears, calls names, verbally insults. Depending on whether the baby reprimands the person who made him angry, or complains to a third party who had nothing to do with the conflict, aggression is divided into direct and indirect, respectively.
• Physical- here there is a material harm to the object of anger.

Such aggression can be:

• straight- children fight, bite, knock, scratch. The purpose of this behavior is to hurt the other person;
• indirect- V the move is on causing harm to the offender's property. A child can tear a book, break a toy, or destroy someone else's sand castle.
• symbolic- constitutes a threat to use force. Often this kind of aggression develops into a direct one. For example, a child screams that he will bite you and, if the intimidation does not work, brings it to life.

No matter how children's aggressive behavior manifests itself, it always causes stupor and bewilderment in parents. Where did it come from? What to do with it? The usual talk about fighting and swearing is bad doesn't help.

Causes of outbreaks of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents

Family members are especially sensitive to aggression directed at them. Why a child is aggressive with other children can be understood, but at home the child is treated well. So what causes violent outbursts and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents?

1. The most common group of causes can be classified as "Problems in the family". Moreover, this can be both difficulties in the relationship between parents and the child, and problems of adults who are not directly related to the baby: divorce, death of a close relative
2. Children, just like adults, have their own individual characteristics. Therefore, the second group of reasons can be attributed to "Personal features". The child can be easily excitable, anxious, irritable. It is difficult for him to control his emotions, so any little thing can make him furious.
3. And the last group can be described as "Situational causes". Fatigue, feeling unwell, heat, long monotonous pastime, poor quality food. Such things can piss off not only a child, but also an adult.

Diagnosis of aggression in children

All these factors can intersect and overlap each other. A qualified psychologist will help to identify what caused the child's aggressive behavior in a particular case. Diagnosis of aggression in children is carried out in several meetings, according to the results of which the specialist analyzes the problem and suggests ways to solve it.

The choice of methods for correcting aggression depends on many factors. But parents need to be prepared for what doesn't exist. easy way treatment of aggression. To help the child, you will have to work hard, including on yourself.

What should you pay attention to in the first place, what recommendations should parents of aggressive children be guided by? Much depends on the reasons for such behavior of the child, and on his age.

Aggression in children at 2-3 years old

This period accounts for the crisis of 3 years. Toddlers are selfish, not used to sharing. In case of disagreement with something, they can hit, scream or break something that does not belong to them.

It should be remembered that while children do not know how to control their emotions, therefore, such behavior is more the norm than a deviation. Do not scold the child, it is better to try something to distract him from the object of his bad mood.

Excessive severity can lead to aggravation of the problem. Take the baby aside, gently say that this is not the way to behave and suggest a new activity.

Aggressive preschool children

Most often, aggression in children for various reasons occurs precisely at preschool age. At this time, the little man still does not know how to express his emotions and feelings and tries to express them precisely as aggression.

Aggression in children 4-5 years old

At this age, the child begins to settle into society. He checks, explores how his behavior affects other people, including parents.

If his actions do not harm others, give him the opportunity to build the boundaries of his "I". It should be understood that this does not mean permissiveness. You need to make it clear to the child what is possible and what is not. How can he express his anger (words) and how not (physically).

Aggression in children 6-7 years old

Older preschool children are not too often aggressive. They have already learned to control themselves, they understand what is good and what is bad. If a child behaves aggressively and cruelly, you should think about the reasons.

Perhaps he lacks independence or finds it difficult to communicate with peers. Now interaction with other children for the baby in the first place.

Aggression in schoolchildren

Schoolchildren also do not yet have a completely formed psyche and most often express their feelings to their peers and teachers as an aggressive self-defense.

Aggression in children aged 8-9 years

The child is actively growing, expanding his knowledge about the world and about himself. Both boys and girls begin to pay attention to the opposite sex. The authority of the adult is questioned.

It is important for parents to understand that the child has ceased to be a baby. From now on, children demand to be treated as equals. The aggression of schoolchildren is often associated with the rejection of this fact by adults.

Aggression in children aged 10-12

Younger adolescence prepares parents for the crisis and difficult adolescence. Already now the authority of peers for the child is more important than the parental one. Aggressive outbreaks are unavoidable now.

It is important not to respond with aggression to aggression and not to take the slippery slope of confrontation. It is better to try to build partnerships with the child. Spend more time with him, talk about adult topics. Of course, there must be limits and limits. After all, you are a parent, not a friend of your child.

In any of these periods, it should be understood when aggression is only temporary, situational, and when it threatens to turn into an accentuation of character. If the problem of child aggression in your family is acute enough, and you feel that you are not coping with the situation, do not be afraid to seek help. Raising aggressive children is not an easy task. And the work of a psychologist here will not be superfluous.

How to relieve aggression in a child? Treatment of aggression in children

There are various methods to relieve aggression in a child. There is a lot of information on the web on this subject.

Video: Children's aggression. How to help a child get rid of it?

All these activities and developments can be tried to apply in life. Some of the children do not like to draw, but will be happy to compose a story with fictional characters. Some guys like to build and break. And someone just feels the need to shout, thus releasing anger.

Aggressive child advice to parents

Whatever method you choose, you should understand that this is only a transitional stage for your child.

• Through games and exercises, you can relieve tension, but they are not a panacea.
• The child must learn to deal with their emotions in a constructive way, expressing them in words. Having spoken out the true reason for his frustration, he will experience relief and will be able to start looking for solutions to his problem. Agree, when everything inside is bubbling with anger, it's hard to find a way out.
• Perhaps, in the course of classes with your child, you will understand that the problem of child aggression lies in yourself, in the parents.
• It's hard to admit this, but this is not an indicator that you bad mother or a bad father. This speaks of you as an adult, responsible person. With some effort, you can make a difference. And no matter what your child does, remember that he expects you to love him no matter what.
• Confidence in your need, values ​​for the most important people in your life - parents - can work wonders even with the most notorious hooligans

Video: How to teach a child to manage their emotions and express their feelings?

Games for aggressive kids

• children's lives, especially younger age, 90% consists of games. Through them, the child learns the world and learns to live in it. Therefore, often, when there are not enough words to explain to the baby how to cope with the passions raging in him, you can and should use game situations.
• Beat each other with pillows, arrange a "war" with snowballs in winter and water pistols in summer, play darts, rejoicing loudly at each hit, run a race, play a sea battle
• This will help the child relieve internal stress. Remember the films in which the hero, angry, threw a cake in the face of his opponent, and everything ended with laughter and amicable eating of the remnants of sweets

Exercises for Aggressive Kids

In addition to simple games known to everyone since childhood, in interaction with children who often tend to show aggression, exercises developed by psychologists are used.

Video: Games to reduce child aggression

Activities with aggressive children

• During all the games and exercises mentioned above, it is important to let the child know that with their help he can cope with his emotions without your direct help.
• During a quarrel, you can, for example, say: "We are both very angry now, let's take pillows and will fight until we forgive each other." Thus, you will not only relieve tension, but also show how you can resolve the conflict without sacrifice.
• Another important point in any activity with a child is to build the boundaries of what is permitted: during a pillow fight, you need to stipulate that you can only hit with a pillow, without the participation of the legs. If it is necessary to cope with verbal aggression, then you can call names, but not offensively, for example, the names of vegetables

Raising Aggressive Children

Necessary components educational process children who do not know how to constructively express their emotions are reflection and personal example.

The concept of reflection implies the ability to analyze one's feelings. When a child screams or hits other children, he does not always understand what is happening to him. It is important to talk to him about this so that he feels your participation and support in a difficult situation for him.

Children learn all the ways of their interaction with other people first of all in the family. Pay attention to how you and your loved ones deal with anger. Maybe your baby is just copying adults? And before you change his behavior, you need to change yourself?

Video: Children's anger and aggression. Why are our children angry?

Why is the child aggressive with other children

• It is not uncommon for parents to learn that a child is behaving aggressively from third parties. Complaints of a teacher or an educator cause bewilderment. What is the right thing to do in this situation? What measures should be taken
• First of all, you need to take a deep breath and delve into the situation. What exactly happened? Under what circumstances? The child shows aggression towards someone in particular or towards all children
• It is also important to know the opinion of the child on this issue. Try asking him. But don't push. Toddlers can't always talk about their experiences.
• You should pay attention to what he will do in the evening. Cut off a doll's head? Talk about what the doll did, good or bad, why she needed to be punished. You can draw together and, through the drawing, play out the situation that happened during the day

The work of a psychologist with aggressive children

If you can’t figure out the reasons for the child’s constant aggressive outbursts on your own, you don’t need to let the situation take its course. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist is equally useful for both parents and children.

An expert can help you figure out what's going on. similar behavior and give advice on how to raise your child. In some cases, it is necessary to psycho corrective work.

Correction of aggression in children

At the mention of the word “psychocorrection”, many parents have a panic attack: something is wrong with my child, he is not normal, how did it happen that others will think, they will suddenly think that my child is a psycho. But do not avoid seeking help because of your own fears.

If you and your child do not visit a psychologist, the problem will not disappear. Think about what is more important: how you will look in the eyes of others or the health of your baby.

Depending on what kind of children's problem, corrective work can be:

• individual - the child is engaged with a psychologist one on one. More suitable for older teenagers not ready for group work
• family - when the whole family or one of the family members and the child attend classes with a psychologist. This type of work is ideal for younger children. He is able to teach not only the baby himself to cope with strong emotions, but also help mom and dad correctly understand and respond to the emotional outbursts of their child.
• group - the child attends classes with peers. Through game situations, communication, he learns to better understand himself and behave in society in an acceptable way, without humiliating or offending others.

Prevention of aggressive behavior in children

Parents' fears that their child has serious problems are far from always justified. Often seemingly unsolvable difficulties in reality turn out to be not so terrible.

Still, it is important to listen to your children and understand what is happening in their lives right now. At right attitude you can easily prevent an aggressive outburst, direct strong emotions in the right direction and reconcile the child with own feelings and therefore with the whole world!

Video: How to extinguish aggression in a child (Sh.A. Amonashvili)