How not to cling to relationships. Unpromising relationship with a man. Never run after a man, let him run after you: tips for girls and women to fall in love with yourself for life and keep a guy, a man

In this article we will look at a situation where a woman runs after a man. We will also try to convince women that this is not necessary.

Unfortunately, the form of unrequited love is much more common than mutual love. Many women are ready to literally do anything to ensure that the man of their dreams reciprocates. Representatives of the fair sex who are unrequitedly in love easily succumb to manipulation and persuasion, and often become victims of marriage swindlers and gigolos, because they believe that they can win a man with exemplary behavior, gifts, financial support and other benefits.

Today we will analyze: is it worth running after the object of your sympathy, in what cases is it worth fighting for love, and is there a chance of building a relationship if your partner does not have feelings for you.

Is it worth running after a man?

Many women are ready to make any sacrifices and concessions for the sake of mutual feelings. Often, representatives of the fair sex cease to be guided by common sense, neglecting personal interests and principles. However, there are several arguments in favor of why you should not rush into all seriousness and run after a man. Among the main ones, psychologists identify the following:

• Men love challenges: winning over the fair sex, conquering her and proving their devotion. This helps them realize their personal potential and increase self-esteem
• Women who are ready to give in to their principles and interests will not be able to become support and support for their partner, since they cause mistrust, because one day they will be able to betray their lover in the same way as their personal priorities
• The obsessiveness of the fair sex kills any desire to take initiative and offer help
• The lack of personal space and own interests pushes the partner to search for new sensations, and often other lovers
• A woman’s availability does not motivate her partner to develop and achieve spiritual and financial enrichment
• A man’s awareness that a representative of the fair sex depends on him morally pushes him to various manipulations towards her

It is also necessary to remember that relationships are the work of two partners. After all, no matter how hard a woman tries to keep her loved one, in the absence of common interests, a common outlook on life and similar values, the couple will not be able to find harmony in the future. Therefore, representatives of the fair sex should motivate men for comprehensive development, as well as build relationships on equal terms, without succumbing to emotions and personal grievances.

What's wrong if a woman chases a man?

Many women prefer to independently seek reciprocity from men. This fact is explained by several factors:

• A similar pattern of relationships could be seen in her close circle.
• Lack of a positive image of a man in life
• Lack of confidence in one's own beauty and charm
• Long absence of any close contacts with the opposite sex
• Confidence that financial security is more important than mutual respect and moral support
• Fear of loneliness and childlessness
• Hyperbolic ideas about men
• Excessive demands on your partner
• Lack of sexuality and femininity

In order to stop building a relationship with a person who does not show reciprocity towards you, it is important to find the reason that pushes you to a similar form of love and psychological dependence on your partner.

The following methods are suitable for this:

• Psychoanalysis
• Professional psychological consultation
• Dance classes
• Meditations

Dancing and yoga, like any other type of physical activity, will help to unlock female potential: develop flexibility and plasticity, and also teach you to control your passion, emotions and improve body control skills that increase self-esteem and sexuality.

Well, now let’s list the consequences of a woman chasing a man:

• The stronger sex loses interest in his partner
• There is no proper distribution of responsibilities in the relationship
• Gender role reversal promotes the manifestation of qualities and behavior in men that are characteristic of women
• There is a lack of understanding and respect for each other in the relationship
• A partner whose feelings are not reciprocated feels inferior and may become depressed or develop a psychological disorder
• A woman experiences her own inadequacy
• The fair sex acquires complexes and self-doubt
• While a woman is trying to attract the attention of one man, she does not notice worthy partners next to her

Why doesn't a real woman run after a man, and why don't men like it when people run after them?

Many ladies wonder why some representatives of the fair sex never try to please men, but they do not experience a shortage of fans, while others try in every possible way to attract attention to themselves, but for some reason they are passed over.

In order to understand the difference between such opposing behavior patterns, it is necessary to note common and different behavioral factors. Among the main ones are the following:

• A confident woman does not need encouragement from others.
• A strong lady has priorities, interests and work. Therefore, she always knows what to do with her free time without girlfriends and men.
• A real woman takes care of her external beauty, health and education. She regularly expands her knowledge in various topics, watches her figure and uses cosmetics
• A strong personality does not depend financially, morally or psychologically on his partner. She has a profession, skills and experience, so the financial condition of her lover does not play a major role
• A real woman knows how to build relationships. She accepts a man without trying to change him
• A confident lady will not tolerate being around a gigolo, a gambling addict, a cheater, or another man who does not match her in mental development. After all, she knows that she deserves only the best
• A true representative of the fair sex is not ashamed of her age, weight and shortcomings, but at the same time, she knows how to emphasize her strengths

The psychology of women who are accustomed to seeking a man’s love has several common characteristics:

• Weak ladies are not very confident in themselves and try in every possible way to hide their shortcomings, creating the image of an ideal housewife, employee and woman
• Representatives of the fair sex did not have healthy, full-fledged relationships
• Women are used to proving their devotion and fidelity through their actions. Therefore, they win the object of sympathy with the help of gifts, food and various surprises
• Weak ladies are envious and often gossips. They rarely manage to build relationships with strong personalities
• Insecure representatives of the fair sex have many complexes and doubt their attractiveness

In order to determine why men do not like it when a woman shows persistent signs of attention, it is important to consider the situation from the point of view of representatives of the strong part of humanity. Psychologists identify the following factors:

• A man stops feeling like a “hunter”
• The motivation to win the object of sympathy disappears
• A man does not need to look for a way to get closer to his partner with the help of flowers and gifts, because he knows that she is ready for anything without them
• A representative of the stronger sex has a greater choice of women, since using his own beauty and charm, he can win anyone without any effort
• A man does not need to spend time going through all the stages of a relationship, so sexual intercourse can happen without any costs

Of course, there are a considerable number of representatives of the stronger sex who are obviously looking for weaker partners. This is due to a number of complexes and psychological problems that are typical for such men. However, such relationships cannot be called healthy and fulfilling, because most of the people who are in them are not happy.

Why you shouldn’t run after a man after a breakup: psychology

Breaking up with a partner is not easy for most women. Especially if the relationship lasted a long time. However, you should not try to get your ex back. Psychologists also agree that experienced relationships must be forgotten without trying to renew them. The following arguments support this opinion:

• There will be no more harmony and respect in the relationship. Our consciousness is designed in such a way that it constantly returns us to past memories and emotions, so it is physically impossible to forget grievances and misunderstandings
• You must understand the reason for the separation and analyze your behavior in order to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
• Breaking up for women can become a new stage in life. You need to take care of your appearance and inner beauty, and also spend as little time as possible alone with thoughts about your ex.
• If your boyfriend betrayed you once, he will gladly disappoint you again

• You are not in love with your current partner, but with the image that you remember from the first stages of your relationship with him. However, people can change under the influence of many factors, so it is impossible to return the personality for which you experienced love
• Getting back together with your ex won't solve the problems that caused you to break off contact with him in the first place.
• You may miss a real chance to improve your personal life with another partner while you are caught up in the past.
• If a man really needs you, he will take the initiative: meet you, call you, write a message, send a gift by delivery service, etc. Regardless of his financial situation and other factors

If you are unable to forget your ex-partner, you should not show signs of attention first. Give the man a chance to rehabilitate himself and take the initiative on his own. It is this act that will help you realize the likelihood of further development of your story, and will also show your true attitude towards you.

Never run after a man, let him run after you: tips for girls and women to fall in love with yourself for life and keep a guy, a man

Understanding human relationships and feelings is sometimes beyond the power of even highly qualified psychologists. After all, every person means by the phrase “ideal partner” a list of qualities that may be unacceptable to others. However, in the case of unrequited love, you should not give up. You always need to fight for your right to happiness, without succumbing to humiliation and psychological pressure from the object of sympathy or society.

The best way to attract a guy's attention is the opposite reaction: so that he himself shows interest in your personality. To achieve this goal, you must follow the following tips:

• Become interesting. Try to find out what your crush's hobbies are. After all, common interests will help start a conversation, and will also interest both in long-term communication
• You shouldn’t put pressure on a man and show your interest in every possible way. Let him make the first move
• Try to appear in the same places where your chosen one most often visits. However, remember, you must remain steadfast in any situation. Therefore, if he regularly goes to a bar, remain a lady even in such an establishment
• Respond to messages neutrally, and do not take long pauses in replies. He needs to see that you value his attention and are interested in communication.

• Agree to go on a date. There is no need to reject his proposals, because the man will think that you simply do not like him
• Awaken his passion. Send a provocative photo or message, but don't overdo it. Not many representatives of the stronger sex like vulgar women, but their piquancy and eroticism will not leave anyone indifferent
• Be independent. Don't ask men for money or help. He must see that there is no infantilism in you, and you are a holistic, formed personality
• Let the man control the situation. He can make his own decisions and take actions. Support his initiative and don't criticize him
• Accept your object of sympathy, his family, profession and hobbies without reproaches or moralizing. No one is perfect, but a man should feel calm and confident that he is loved. It is this factor that motivates representatives of the stronger sex to take care of women and give feelings and emotions with additional impact

How to stop running after a guy, a man, but get him interested: tips from the book of Rashid Kirranov

Rashid Kirranov is a famous psychologist specializing in relationships. His book “The Psychology of Men” reveals secrets that will help women not only better understand the opposite sex, but also build harmonious long-term relationships. Some of the fundamental principles of his book are:

• Men are not breadwinners 24/7. In moments of despair, they also deserve attention, care and affection, like representatives of the fair sex
• In order to build strong relationships, it is necessary to discuss conflicts, disputes and claims.
• Don't give gifts or support financially
• There is no need to be afraid to take the first step, but it is important to keep your distance and not impose your feelings
• Don't let a man live on your property

• A woman needs to be sincere and clearly articulate her desires and needs.
• Do not agree to close contact if you do not know each other well, and also if your partner does not respect you
• Stand up for your point of view and do not allow yourself to be manipulated

Unrequited feelings sometimes lead to mutual sympathy, love and marriage. However, do not forget about the purpose of a woman and your own priorities. After spending years trying to win the object of sympathy, you may suddenly realize that there is an ideal man very close by, who does not need heroic deeds and sacrifices for the sake of love.

Video: How to stop being afraid of being alone and not running after men?

Whether you're tired of chasing the man you love or you just want to feel the thrill that comes when you switch places with your lover, it's absolutely possible to make a man chase you you, and not vice versa.

Steps

Part 1

1. Catch him looking at you and walk away. Of course, you can approach the man who is looking at you and start a conversation. He may enjoy talking to you and will fall in love with you even more... or he may become more and more intrigued by a beautiful woman who passed by, and he may want to know more about her. Let his gaze rest on you and wait for him to approach you. Or, if you know you'll see him again, approach him next time.

   • Of course, if you really want to approach him, it might intrigue him and seem like something out of the ordinary. You don't have to be so careful if it's not your style.

2. Live your life. For guys, there is nothing sexier than a girl who lives her own life. If your life is meaningful, fulfilling, you are pursuing your career or passion, and have several hobbies or interests that are important to you, then you will be someone to meet. Whether you want to be a writer or just really like to draw, you'll interest a guy a lot more if he sees that you're interested in so many things other than himself. If you're just watching TV and waiting for him to call, he won't be intrigued.

   • Keeping yourself busy with different interesting things can help you become a more interesting person to get to know.
   • If a guy thinks your schedule is free because you're not doing anything, then he'll be less likely to chase you around because he'll always know where to find you: at home.

3. Surprise him with your confidence. Guys may be intimidated by girls who are overly confident, but they are also very attracted to them. Show him that you love yourself and what you have to offer the world. Instead of feeling insecure, always complaining, or waiting for validation from a guy, know that validation comes from within. If you are happy with who you are, a guy will be happier with you because he will know that he can enjoy your company instead of constantly encouraging you.

   • Of course, everyone can work on becoming more confident. Over time, you can start spending more time on the things you love to do, open up your body language and practice good posture, and forget about those nasty little things you don't like about yourself.

4. Flirt with him. You have to flirt if you want a man to pursue you. You should make eye contact, play with your hair, tease him, and maybe even blush and act more feminine to get his attention. You can playfully touch his hand, smile a little at him even if he hasn't said anything funny, and just be playful and fun when you're together. Flirting should spark his interest and let him know what it's like to date you. Flirting should be easy, fun and exciting.

   • Don't push. Flirt a little and then move away. Make him work at it.

5. Be sexy. Define what sexuality means to you and go for it. If that means getting your hair and nails done, then do it. If that means looking natural and using just a little lip balm and a big smile, then go for it. You can wear sexy clothes or just flattering clothes that make you feel great. Do things that make you feel confident and look like you take care of your appearance. If you want a man to chase you, then you will have to put in a little effort.

   • This does not mean that you should do anything that seems unnatural to you. You want him to run after you, not the version of you who wears two kilograms of makeup on his face and walks in uncomfortable stilettos.

6. Show him that other men are paying attention to you. Don't talk too much about the time you spend with other guys, otherwise the guy will notice that you are trying too hard to get his attention. Instead, show him that you talk to other guys and be yourself when you do it. Don't laugh too hard, touch him too much, or act like you're trying too hard to make him jealous. This should happen on its own. Whether it's going out with your significant other or just a platonic friend, actively participate in the conversation and be interested, and the guy will be jealous of you.

   • Although this is very stupid, it is true that if other guys are interested in you, then you become more desirable. A guy will want you even more if he sees that others want you too.
   • Make sure it doesn't go too far, though. If a guy always sees you with other guys, he may think that you like to flirt or that you are not interested in him.

   Part 2

   How to keep him on the hook

   1. Don't always be there. If you pick up the phone as soon as he calls, or you agree to go on a date with him, even if he calls you a few hours in advance, then he will begin to think that there is nothing interesting going on in your life except meeting with him. If you want a guy to chase you, then he must think that you have a lot going on in your life and that it's hard to keep up with you. Of course, you don't want him to think that you're so busy that you don't have time for him, otherwise he'll get bored, but find a balance between being busy and having free time so that you have time to date and keep him interested.

      • If he calls you, don't pick up right away. It's best to wait a few hours before calling him back.
      • The same applies to messages. If he texts you, wait a while before responding to him unless it's something urgent.

   2. Be a little relaxed. Once you've established a relationship and spent time together a few times, don't be afraid to show him that you're in the mood when you're not together. You need to call him at work and tell him about the things you would like to do with him. This will keep him thinking about you until he gets to you. Don't overdo it, choose the right moments and it will end up at your little feet.

      • Choose the right time. You don't want to tell him you're in a playful mood if he's going to a job interview or spending the day with grandma.

   3. Surprise him with your kindness from time to time. Of course, playing hard to get is a lot of fun, but if you overdo it, he'll start to think he's into you. impossible touch. You have to give in and give in a little so that he understands that you care about him. Cook him lunch for his birthday. Call just to say hello. Buy two tickets to his favorite team's game. Do something sweet to keep him interested, and then move away again. If you cook him lunch every day, then yes, he will start taking you for granted.

      • Find a balance between playing hard to get and giving him everything at once. You can't always behave one way or another.

   4. Don't tell him everything right away. If the second he meets you, you tell him that you have five sisters, that you dream of becoming an actress, and that you have a difficult relationship with your mother, he will feel that it is not so difficult to get to know you. Instead, make him work hard. Tell him one and unique thing about yourself when you first meet, and then serve these rare details like the most delicious chocolate during your subsequent meetings. Make him work hard to get to know you; if he thinks you're giving it your all, he won't try.

      • Men love the feeling of more reserved or less open women opening up to them. They feel like they have won a prize.

   5. Do not seek communication with him as often as he does with you. Let him be the one who calls more often. Let him text you to say hello. Wait until he suggests going to a party together that you both have to attend. Although, you don't have to do this all the time, you should wait until he takes more initiative, while you should appear busy, or that you have too many important things to do to worry about whether he will call you. Of course, you can still keep in touch with him or suggest a great date for the two of you, but make sure he reciprocates.

      • Nobody said that these strategies were invented for the patient. If you are the type of person who freaks out while waiting for a guy to contact you instead of taking the initiative to steer the relationship in the direction you want, then this will be difficult for you.

   6. Have fun with your girlfriends. Don't be one of those girls who stops calling her friends as soon as she gets a boyfriend. You should have fun with your girlfriends and enjoy bachelorette parties, regardless of your relationship status. If a guy sees that you enjoy going dancing with your girlfriends, having cocktails with them, or just hanging out with them, he'll think it's cool that you don't forget about your friends. He will also be even more jealous of you because he will be thinking about all those guys who might approach you during these bachelorette parties!

      • Spending time with your girlfriends will keep you focused and help you avoid obsessing over your boyfriend.

   7. Be unpredictable. If you want a guy to keep chasing you, you have to keep him interested. Suggest a casual weekend trip. Take a swim in the sea, even if the weather is a little cool and windy. Go to a diner on a date. If you always do or say the same thing, he will get bored with you and will stop chasing you. But if he doesn't know what to expect, then he will be where you need him! You don't have to be spontaneous 24/7, but take the opportunity to surprise him when the moment seems right.

      • Resist the urge to plan, plan, plan everything and leave some things to chance. Let him pick you up from home without asking him what you will do every second of the date.

Today, I hear from many women that men have become somewhat lacking in initiative, do not want to achieve them, and have generally become lazy. In part, this may be true, since today everyone has switched to the virtual world, spend a lot of time on the Internet, losing strength and energy there and losing the desire: women to admire, men to conquer.

But there is a share of the blame for the women themselves, who turned into hunters. I really like the writer and psychologist Svetlana Ermakova, the creator of the technique. She very succinctly called such women “catching up.” Today I want to outline some of her tips from the methodology and convey one simple idea to women:

Men have stopped hunting because the “game” itself runs towards them with open arms. Who would be interested in such a hunt?

In a pair there is always someone who is chasing and someone who is running away. Or, to put it another way, one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved. This doesn't always happen, but often. Or in a couple the love is mutual, but one is still always a little more interested in the relationship. And it is very desirable that this “more interested” person be a man. This means that he must be catching up, and not vice versa. And today many women live their lives “catching up.” And then they complain that normal men have disappeared, become extinct as a species.

No need to run after a man! You need to interest him, ask him riddles and... run away. And if you don’t run away, then they won’t catch up with you. And if you do catch up, they run away from you! Imagine a cow running after a bull. Or a hen after a rooster. They calmly do their job (grass, peck food) and do not pay attention to the males. The rooster will probably be shocked if the hen suddenly starts running after him, he will obviously consider her “abnormal”.

Therefore, the harder you run after a man, the faster he will run away from you. As Svetlana put it: “The more a woman suffers from a lack of His love, the more a man suffers from an excess of HER love.” Don’t become clingy and catch-up, take better care of yourself, your inner world and mood.

No need to run after a man

So, how can you stop him from falling in love with you?

I think you already understand that you shouldn’t run after a man. How to do this practically and what is this “not running”? And it consists in five Non-actions.

5 NOT-actions

1. Always remember that as soon as you turn into a catch-up man, the man loses interest in you. Don’t try to please a man in everything and make his life pleasant. Take ONE step towards him only when he takes TWO towards you.

2. Don't blame your man for not paying enough attention to you. And behave in such a way that he will listen to you. They don’t demand attention, they call it. Don’t ask him questions: “when will you call me,” “where have you been,” “where did you go and when will you arrive?” Don’t tell him: “hug me”, “kiss me”, “take me out”...

3. End the conversation first (including on the phone), without waiting for him to say goodbye to you first. You've probably noticed that the one who says goodbye first has some kind of moral superiority (after all, he has more important things to do than talk).

Men always feel chased (as well as not-chased), so try to say goodbye first. Your farewell may not be the end of the conversation; the man will probably continue it. But with your behavior you will create a situation where a man will be forced to catch up. After all, you are running away!

4. When hugging, no matter how hard it is, pull away first. Don't wait for him to pull away from you. Let him hug you, you give in, answer him, but pull away first. And don't initiate hugs. For many they are very inappropriate. At this moment he may be thinking about something, being preoccupied with something, and a long hug is imposed on him. This can cause frustration and a desire for these hugs to end as soon as possible.

When a woman is often the first to hug a man, and even holds him in these arms for a long time, she deprives him of the opportunity to catch up with her, conquer and win. You are depriving him of his most important need - to catch up (and win)! Men are “winners” by nature, and even if he doesn’t always manage to win, he still always wants to do it. Therefore, if your man does not catch up with you, he will catch up with the other.

5. Don't let him know that you are “his forever.” And don't be the first to say that you missed him. This word itself is very insidious. You think that with this word you let the man know that you are glad to see him. But men often perceive this as “I’m in love, I feel bad without you, I’m all yours.”

There is also another meaning. People are very afraid of boredom. Watch people and you will see how almost all their activities are aimed at combating boredom. And when you say you are bored, you sound dangerous, because boredom is contagious!

As soon as you stop running after a man and start running away from him, he will begin to catch up with you. When he starts to catch up, he will start to think a lot about you (“why didn’t she pick up the phone”, “where was she in such a hurry yesterday”, “does she love me”, and so on). The more a man thinks about you, the more attached he will become. The more thoughts, the stronger the love!

The complete method “Don’t stop him from falling in love with you!” can be ordered HERE . There you will also find information about the content of the methodology.

Be the first to say goodbye, be the first to leave, be the first to hang up the phone and be the first to propose separation. A man who is interested in you will begin to catch up with you. And if not, then this is not your man and sooner or later your relationship would have ended anyway.

Don't run after a man, but take care of yourself! Fill, fill and fill yourself with love and inner light! Take care of your body, take care and cherish yourself!

You can also get access to a free secret Knowledge Base for women, which contains many hours of videos on the topic of falling in love, staying in love and building a happy relationship. You can access the database HERE .

Everyone wants to find love and feel happy. But some girls tend to become dependent on men, which they very often take advantage of. How to achieve love without losing yourself and self-esteem? Here are some practical tips.

A bit of male psychology

Ideally, every man strives for love, ease and mutual understanding. He needs loyalty and devotion when he has already made his choice in favor of a woman. However, representatives of the stronger sex perfectly feel when a woman chooses them and when she clings to them. The difference between these concepts is significant.

A woman who chooses does not subconsciously stop her active search for love and does not immediately trust a man. Assessing his merits and realizing that he is the one she needs, she gradually reveals to him beautiful pictures of a joint future, sensitively responding to his willingness to be together. She can tell herself “stop” at any time if she feels that he does not want to continue or is not eager to marry her and easily breaks off the relationship if the interlocutor becomes impudent. The combination of inner coldness with the ability to present herself beautifully is the calling card of such a woman, so the man she chooses may even feel guilty before her, realizing that she will not tolerate anything from him.

If a woman clings, she either pursues some goal of her own that no one else can give her, or she does not respect herself, believing that a man is always right. She blames herself for his bad behavior, not him, and tries with all her might to regain her relationship with him. Feeling this, the man begins to use her and shamelessly throw her away when the need for this disappears. This applies to both disgusted wives and just girls, no matter how beautiful or not.

Roots of the problem

There may be several reasons why a woman clings to a man. Usually the material reasons are specific and do not need explanation. For example, a girl will cling to a man with all her might if he is wealthy, spends his life luxuriously, and wastes money, unlike her other fans. Or, if she is a young photographer, but she does not have the opportunity to open her own studio, and he is the owner of a modern photo salon who can solve this problem. In such a situation, everything will depend on her ability to present herself beautifully, compete with others and prove that she is most suitable for the role of his employee or wife.

It's another matter if the reasons are psychological. For example, she considers him the best candidate for the role of a spouse, the kindest (honest, handsome, decent, etc.) or tries to extend or return the old relationship. Unfortunately, in this situation, the root of the problem is dislike for oneself combined with the inability to properly build relationships. And you can only learn to build relationships correctly with experience.

How to solve a problem

This cannot be done quickly, since gaining self-respect and stabilizing self-esteem requires observation, gaining experience and getting rid of the negative assessments of others, and this is a long process. You need to remind yourself every day of your virtues, strengths and constantly pamper yourself. Beautiful photo sessions and professional selfies in which you like yourself really help. The second step is to grow professionally and learn to see the merits of other people, gain experience communicating with men, not necessarily just sexual. This will help you become more relaxed and learn to choose rather than cling to the only chance. Only in this case is there hope for the return of the prodigal man or for finding the worthy and vibrant relationship that you dream of.

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