Crisis 5 years in children. How the crisis of five years manifests itself in children and how parents should behave. Characteristic features of the behavior of the baby during this period

We are glad to welcome you, dear readers of the blog! Every person goes through a lot of crises during their life. Although they are sometimes difficult to live with, they perform a very important function - they allow you to develop, as if to step over from step to step, gradually rising.

The largest number of them are in childhood. Which, in principle, is not surprising. Rapid growth, active knowledge of the surrounding world, acquaintance with oneself, close and not so people...

Such a large amount of information that comes every second, sometimes the baby is not able to process, assimilate and bring it into the structure of his own personality. He simply does not yet have the necessary skills for this process. That is why failures and overloads occur. Which manifest themselves in the form of tantrums, disobedience, and so on.

And today we will talk about what kind of crisis a child has for 5 years, how to “live” with him and, of course, by what signs to determine in a timely manner.

What is he, a five-year-old?

This period is also called preschool childhood. The child is trying to become independent, to prove that he is an adult and independent person. With their individual interests and hobbies. At the same time, he is quite emotionally involved in the lives of loved ones who care for him.

It is clear that he cannot solve adult tasks, therefore his main activity is the game. It is with her help that he recreates life situations requiring some kind of understanding, awareness.

For example, toys can endow with quite real images of familiar people and “act out” some kind of scenario that in reality affected his feelings. He imitates adults, trying to adopt a socially acceptable model of behavior in society, knowledge of how to build relationships, and so on.

Although the game seems to be a rather frivolous and useless activity, in fact it develops thinking, allows you to relieve the accumulated tension, unnecessary emotions. It also has an educational function, trains memory, attention and even speech.

At this age, children are still quite selfish, they need less parental care and attention than before. That is, they can spend more and more time alone, without requiring constant joint activities.

Usually five-year-olds are fond of drawing, modeling, creating any fakes. In general, they strive to create, receiving praise from others for their productivity. Yes, and with the help of creativity, they better know themselves and express emotions that they still do not quite know how to track and realize.

Also at this age, children are already able to understand jokes, to distinguish between fiction and truth. They prefer communication with peers, although before that parents or other adults who take care of them were a priority.

The main signs of the crisis

Mood swings, irascibility. The kid becomes irritable, any little thing can cause a whole storm of emotions. It seems that such a sweet and kind child suddenly ceases to be so and allows himself to be rude even in relation to strangers.
Emotionality. The intensity of the feelings shown is sometimes disproportionate to the situation, circumstances. At least that's how adults perceive it. For a little man, even a fallen autumn leaf from a tree may seem like a tragedy.
mannerisms. Moments like a jester who grimaces. Thus, he wants to show that he has grown up and is quite able to behave as a mature person should.
Uncertainty. It loses stability, since the usual praise over trifles, and even not deserved, may cease to suit. He also worries that other children are better than him, they succeed more, they are more beautiful, smarter, and so on.
Independence. Refuses to hold hands, shows a desire to try some forbidden drinks or food. For example, he claims that he also wants to drink coffee in the morning. In general, he strives to do things that will only emphasize his independence.
Phobias. Suddenly he begins to be afraid of something that did not cause fear before. For example, some even have obsessive states about death, or worries about the future, the likelihood of failure, and so on.
Closure. Cheerful and sociable, sharply closed in on himself, sometimes refusing to talk not only with strangers, but also with close people.
Lie. In fact, what the child says is not the result of his conscious lie. During this period, he simply begins to fantasize so actively that sometimes he himself gets confused, where is reality and where is fiction. He may want something so much that he will wishful thinking.

What kind of animal is this, this crisis?

Psychology considers a crisis as a state when the old has stopped working, and the new has not yet been invented. And now a person is at the junction, between what is outdated and what has not yet been invented.

Why is experiencing a lot of unpleasant emotions due to instability, uncertainty. For example, anxiety, fear, anger, disappointment. Therefore, outbursts of anger and changes in mood or behavior become understandable to us.

Only now, if a crisis has come to a little man, this, quite clearly, frightens him to death. He does not have any information about the psychology of personality and age periodization, does not have life experience and any knowledge about the properties of his own character.

And here also the parents swear that he has changed and is not as good as they think. A best protection What? That's right, an attack. Therefore, there is uncertainty, fear, aggressiveness and closeness. He begins to think that the bad, not worthy of love, ceases to trust others and in every possible way defends his right to be himself.

Emotions at the moment of hysteria go off scale, which is why he needs help in calming down, and not a quality punishment, which will “shatter” his nerves even more.

Remember yourself, when you are upset or sad about something, will it help you if someone else threatens, for example, with deprivation of love and attention? It is unlikely, most likely, that will upset you even more.

Therefore, it is important not to fight tantrums, not to treat them, but to teach them to be aware of their feelings and calm down. Learn how to best do this below.

If everything goes according to plan, or rather, with the support of adults, then this difficult period will take about 6 months, someone will need a little more time, someone a little less. But if a small person does not cope and cannot solve the life tasks of this age, then in the future he will regress. That is, sometimes return to her five years, despite how old she really is.

The main thing is not to succumb to the temptation to punish the baby for disobedience and such drastic changes in character and mood. With your stability and calmness, you will create those boundaries that the five-year plan is not yet able to form on its own. Therefore, as soon as he burst into tears and lost control of himself, hug him.

When he is rude to you, he not only wants to hurt you, but does not know how to correctly express thoughts, disagreement, defend rights, and so on.

Try to maintain stability and your parental position. Sometimes shame deprives inner balance. When it seems that the people around you are looking only at you, you want to stop screaming at almost any cost in order to look like a good mom or a good dad in the eyes of others.

If you are troubled by such experiences, try to work with them. Your child should not suffer because of your difficulties and limitations.

Subsequence

You must be consistent in your prohibitions. It is only important that they are logical and understandable. If only today you allowed him to play on the phone for 2 hours, and the next day you changed your mind and forbid him to pick up, it is quite expected that they will try to convince you.

Despite the fact that children are not yet quite experienced and conscious, they are well versed in manipulations. Having discovered the parent's weak point, they will put pressure on him, checking when he will finally give up.

It's called "feeling the boundaries". But is it sure that something will not be allowed, or if you try hard, throwing a tantrum, you will be able to achieve what you want?

If your child knows that there are rules in the family, the violation of which entails serious consequences, for example, a threat to life and health. As well as prohibitions, about which it makes no sense to even try to start a conversation - then it will be easier for him to navigate and understand how to behave not only with you, but also in this world.

In general, you will not throw words to the wind, and also change your mind - you will be able to avoid quarrels and scandals by crying. They simply will not make sense, if the child understands that he will not achieve anything with their help, then why complicate everything?

care and presence

Hysteria, as already mentioned, is a cry for help. This means that the experiences are so overwhelming and incomprehensible that the little man simply loses control over his body. Yes, some people can be brought to life by slapping on the ass. I mean calm down. But this is only at first glance. Since physical punishment will not give awareness, but will only be a marker that you need to shut up, otherwise it will be worse.

Accordingly, experiences are held inside, and then completely unexpectedly break through into the will. Of course, to a safer object from which you will not receive punishment. Suppose a pet or a boy in the yard can suffer from unfair aggression, with whom a fight will start from scratch.

Golden mean

Not welcome at this moment. Because the crisis of five years is an important stage in the formation of a person, that is, he learns to defend his rights, opinions and desires. And if you do not give him this opportunity, then in the future it threatens that he will simply endure unfair treatment, up to violence.

But connivance is also unacceptable. Otherwise, he will feel power over you. What threatens with the loss of the parental position, you will not be able to influence him, he will be as if “unbalanced”, as he will lose his sense of security. The figures, on which it is extremely important to rely, turned out to be incapable and weaker than he was at five years old.

So try to find golden mean, showing, when necessary, hardness, or vice versa, flexibility.

Liberty

The five-year-old protests because it demands respect and recognition. That is, the right to choose and have their own opinion. Give him the opportunity to be independent so that he understands that he is considered.

Of course, he has little experience and the risk of making mistakes is very high. But there is one trick. Invite him to choose from several options that suit you in any case. For example: “Will you have rice porridge or buckwheat for breakfast?”, “Will you go outside in a blue or orange T-shirt?”.

Thus, the baby does not need to "puzzle" over what to do. And you worry that in winter he will want to walk in sandals.

"Container"

You need to become a kind of container for the feelings of the child. That is, when he does not understand what is happening to him, it is important to explain it to him. Let's say, "yes, I see that you are upset because I did not allow you to eat your favorite but missing cheese. You are now angry because of this, which is quite normal.

If you just silently wait for him to calm down, it will look like a rejection for him. Which will cause even more pain, causing psychological trauma. So neither shouting nor ignoring is recommended. I repeat, but hug him tightly and tell him in a calm voice about how you love him and understand his feelings.

When you manage to console him, offer to drink water, show that you do not reject, but continue to be there, and are ready to take care of him at such a moment.

In a crowded place, try to take him away or carry him to the side. So that you also feel safe, hiding at least for a while from other people's views and moralizing about what ill-bred children went and irresponsible parents.

Since he is so desperate to grow up, involve him in your daily duties. Just not ordering and forcing, but making a request, explaining that his help in cleaning the house, cooking is important to you ... Come up with tasks that will be feasible for him, even if he can’t cope with them the first time, with support he will learn and believe in their strength.
Give him more time during this period. Walk, chat, do something together. “Involvement” in the life of the baby will give him the resources to qualitatively pass this stage of development, which is not easy for everyone. And it will also strengthen the bond between you, bring you closer.
Talk and explain the reasons for your prohibitions.
Sorry. If you couldn’t cope with your emotions and yelled at your child, apologize later, when you cool down. So he will learn to admit his own mistakes, using your example. Yes, and will not accumulate anger for sometimes unfair punishment.
I-statements. You are a living person and also sometimes do not give an account of your words and actions. Learn not to blame, to evaluate, but to speak on your own behalf. Feel the difference between the phrases: "You make me angry" and "I got angry"? In the first case, there will be a desire to defend oneself, to justify oneself, while the second option is a back reaction to any actions. Then the baby will not think that he is bad and upsets his parents, but will understand that it is this behavior that causes just such a reaction. This raises awareness. And it prevents a lot of interpersonal problems in the future.

And a bit more

Relax and follow your own interests. The crisis tires and deprives not only those who live it. In order for you to have resources, be attentive to your own well-being. If you understand that everything is already over, you can’t cope, take a time out by asking grandmothers and other people you trust to look after him for a day or two.
Consistency. Agree with the rest of the family about the methods of education. There must be consistency in your actions, a unified approach. If someone tries to “pull the blanket over themselves”, wanting to look like a good hero, then this will only aggravate the situation, creating a lot of difficulties.
Attentiveness. As soon as you notice the first signs that a tantrum will soon begin, try to have time to switch the attention of your child. Perhaps, having admired a bird or a dog, he will forget about his intentions to make a scandal.
Contract. He needs to know that you are not his enemy. In general, learn to negotiate. Instead of trying to get him to walk home from the yard, say that you're sorry, but there's no more time for the swing. It's time for you to have lunch, work, and then you will definitely return so that he can finish the game with friends. So you will establish contact, and tears with screams will torment you less and less. They just don't make sense.
Awareness. Learn to track your experiences, then your child will be able to do it. When there is chaos inside, it is very difficult to live. This is what provokes outbreaks of aggression, the anxiety that is constantly present in the background will not give you the opportunity to relax even in a dream. And all this threatens the emergence of psychosomatic diseases.

Completion

And finally, I want to remind you that each person is individual. Therefore, the crisis manifests itself in different ways. Sometimes it is completely invisible and not noticeable, or it takes on serious proportions.

Take care of yourself and be happy!

The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina

Your child is 5 and from an obedient baby he turned into an uncontrollable capricious demon?

Or, on the contrary, is he closed in on himself and is afraid of simple things?

Then we can say with confidence that this is a crisis of 5 years in children.

How to cope with this period in the life of a child without consequences for him, and, preserving the nerve cells of his parents?

The advice of a psychologist will give an answer to this question.

By the age of 5, children already master speech well enough and can communicate freely.

They watch with great interest the lives of adults, especially their parents, and begin to imitate them.

Often for this, peeping and eavesdropping on their lives.

There is a desire to be adults and independent. “I will do it myself” is their favorite phrase at this age.

But, of course, a five-year-old baby cannot be the same as an adult.

Therefore, a crisis sets in - desires do not coincide with reality.

The child is full of frustration, because of which he becomes angry, behaves unbalanced and aggressively.

Also, kids during this period tend to communicate more with their peers, but this does not always work out.

Thinking abilities are also already developed at a good level.

The set of individual character traits begins to manifest itself most clearly.

The development of the brain is full swing, so there are more emotions.

At this stage, the baby will have to learn to control and express their feelings. Patience should be shown until the child masters this art to the end.

The concept of difference between the sexes comes. The child is trying to realize himself as a person of a certain gender. Because of this, he becomes closed.

Children begin to express their own opinion about the world around them.

Often this opinion is accompanied by a fair dose of fantasy. They can even come up with whole stories and life stories.

The baby begins to identify himself as a person.

But not all thoughts and emotions can yet be explained. This is where the whims and tantrums come from.

In other words, this is a period of rapid development of the baby.

There are many new hobbies and hobbies. And it happens that the baby can not cope with the load.

All these character traits become the causes of the crisis at the age of five.

Manifestations of crisis 5 years in children

The child becomes capricious for no particular reason.
For any reason throws tantrums. For example, if he cannot find his favorite toy.
Sudden changes in behavior, manifestation of aggression.
Not all children, but still there is isolation during this crisis. Suddenly, the baby stops talking about all his events, although he always did before.
Imitates adults, copies their behavior, grimaces.
If earlier kid was not afraid of anything, now various fears may arise, for example, fear of the dark or fear of talking to an unfamiliar adult.
The desire to be independent, wants to do everything himself without the help of adults, even to walk without parents.
Invents stories and fantasizes, passes it off as the truth.
excessive physical activity quickly replaced by fatigue. Increased emotionality and excitability.
Naughty character and refusal to obey parents.
Frequent anger and irritation, rudeness in communication with parents and peers.
Performs acts in spite of adults and vice versa, even if it will harm him.
Dissatisfied all the time.
He shows stubbornness to the last and does not back down, it is so important for him that his opinion is listened to.
Makes himself a dictator - tells everyone what to do. In his opinion, this is how the “big” behave.

How long does it take?

The crisis of 5 years in time can last for a different time individually for each child.

At least from a few weeks to months and even a year.

It is also worth noting that it may not begin strictly at the age of five, but earlier or later.

It also depends on the individual characteristics of a particular baby.

Some parents do not even notice the onset of a critical condition, it passes so easily.

And some clutch their heads and don't know what to do.

The main thing is not to panic, but to follow the advice of psychologists. Then everything will work out, and you will forget about the difficult period.

Note: It is necessary to understand and accept the fact that the crisis of 5 years in children is inevitable. But what you can influence is to smooth out the sharp corners of this time and make it painless, using the experience of psychologists and parents who have already passed this path.

Advantages of the crisis

The age of 5 years in children differs not only in the negative aspects of the crisis, but also in the positive ones.

Right now, kids are showing their talents and abilities.

Therefore, now is the time to take a closer look at your child and help him find himself and his favorite pastime.

To reveal the possibilities of the crumbs, it is necessary to enroll her in various developmental circles and classes.

Ask your son or daughter what is the most interesting and attractive.

And take the child there. In addition to his interests, you can also offer something yourself.

Who knows, maybe the kid does not realize that drawing is so exciting.

They say that there are no mediocre children, there are gifted children who were not helped to open up by adults.

Of course, it cannot be argued that absolutely every child doing dancing or music will become the second Volochkova or Pugacheva.

But you can still find your calling right now. And in the future, the baby will no longer have to puzzle over who he will be when he grows up.

In addition, the crisis is experienced much easier when the child is busy doing what he loves. It also helps to learn how to set goals and achieve them.

How to survive this period easier and without too much fuss, read below:

It should be understood that a difficult time has come for the baby.

Therefore, there is no need to scold him and punish him for capricious behavior.

This is the biggest mistake parents make. On the contrary, it is necessary to handle the baby very gently, but at the same time persistently.

To do this, follow these tips:

Create an atmosphere of calm and comfort
Try to find out the reason bad behavior. Perhaps the child just needs more affection and love.
If the problem lies deeper, find out and discuss it, invite the baby to find a solution together.
Do not go on shouting and swearing during the hysterical behavior of the child. It is necessary to wait until the baby comes to his senses and then calm tone talk to her.
Do not show irritation, anger.
Maintain a warm relationship with the child, and his trust. If good contact is established, it will be much easier for both of you to survive the crisis.

It is worth noting: Become a best friend and role model. Then the difficult time will fly by unnoticed and will not seem like such a nightmare for you and the baby.

What Not to Do

Do not pay attention to the child, let everything take its course, doing your own thing.
Raise your voice for no reason, swear, hysteria, use humiliating words and comparisons, physical methods of education.
To teach, to behave intrusively, to read notations, to point out children's age and the superiority of adults.
Use the words in communication: “you can’t do anything”, “don’t interfere, move away” and similar things.
Turn a blind eye to obvious aggression and inappropriate behavior.
Pull and shelve help to the child when he needs it. Put everything aside and deal with his problems.
If you can’t talk to the baby in a calm tone, then you should contact a psychologist.

Take note: Try on the role of support and center of the universe. Be gentle, do not neglect joint games, have fun with your baby from the heart. Understand his world. Make it clear to the baby that the most important thing for you is her well-being, and not her career and other “adult” things.

Questions and comments of a psychologist

"Hello! I am the mother of two children. The eldest son is 5 years and 2 months old, and the daughter is 10 months old.

The son is very jealous of his sister, while showing strong aggression towards her.

At the age of 3, he developed nervous tics when he is nervous.

With attacks of aggression towards her sister, the tics become even stronger. What to do, how to help the child?

This term should not be taken as a negative, trouble or pathology. Psychologists use the term "crisis" to describe the child's transition to a new stage of growing up, development, perception of the world. This also applies to the crisis of five years. We will learn in detail about the important period in the life of children and how their parents should behave correctly at such a time.

Age Features

At this time, girls and boys are trying, more than ever, to imitate adults. They can already control the emotionality of their behavior, that is, restrain joy from pleasant events and show indignation from troubles. Children have an interest in certain types activities and hobbies, they tend to communicate more with their peers, their character is formed faster. The brain develops actively, children begin to fantasize and invent imaginary comrades for themselves, compose stories that actually did not happen to them. Five-year-old children perfectly copy the behavior of their parents, they can even distort them. Curiosity and interest in the world around them makes them eavesdrop, peep.

Signs of a Crisis

Closure in itself is one of them. The boy and girl, who until recently were frank with their parents, do not want to share their experiences, failures, successes. Children develop fears, for example, the fear of the death of loved ones and the fear of the dark. The guys become insecure, shy of strangers. They are afraid of not being liked by adults. A child who has always been accommodating can suddenly become aggressive, angry and uncontrollable. And sometimes five-year-olds turn into whiners, demand something from their parents, throwing tantrums.

A sign of a crisis is that children can suddenly change good mood to hysteria, discontent and despondency. Children begin to get very tired, because emotional overstrain takes a lot of energy.

How to behave to parents

Of course, neither dad nor mom will like the negative changes that occur with their until recently obedient and kind baby, whose behavior could always be predicted. During a crisis, you can expect anything from a child. Many parents think that the child is just manipulating them ...

Signs of a crisis 5 years in children

You should not think that having celebrated your birthday, you can expect an explosion of emotions. There is no clear timetable according to which events develop. Age crises can begin in children at 5 or 6 years old - it all depends on development. They also last unpredictably - for someone a month, for someone they stretch for a year. The task of parents is to mitigate their manifestation in their child.

As a rule, for both boys and girls, the crisis of 5 years follows a similar scenario, although it is at this age that children already clearly understand the difference between the sexes. Take a closer look at your child and you may be able to see the following:

The psychology of a child during a crisis of 5 years is undergoing dramatic changes. That is why a kind and affectionate baby suddenly becomes angry, rude, and sometimes cruel to his loved ones. In public, this is not so manifested, but in the family, relations can worsen.
The child suddenly becomes very secretive. If yesterday he still enthusiastically told how his day in kindergarten went, today he flatly refuses to tell the story and does not make contact.
Suddenly, the baby wants to walk on his own, choose his own things, walk down the street on his own, and not hand in hand with his mother. These are signals of the beginning of the crisis.
can happen for no apparent reason anywhere. The child may scream, stomp his feet in a crowded place, demanding himself without knowing what.
They go to a new level if they were available, or they arise from nowhere. The child may begin to be afraid of communicating with strangers, does not want to go to the playground, or does not leave his mother for a minute.

How to help the baby?

The help of parents in any crisis is kindness and understanding. Adults should know that all this is temporary and should be patient. The child should explain his behavior, because at this age he can already evaluate his actions. In critical situations, the help of a child psychologist will be very useful. Here is what to do in the most common situations at this age.

The growing up of a child is accompanied by age-related crisis periods: rapid mental development, gradual knowledge and understanding of the world around for a child of 4-5 years old is not an easy task.

The responsible mission of parents is to help the child overcome psychological difficulties and problems, successfully and painlessly switch to new stage life. What help does the child need? What is the role of parents? In this article, we will try to give some useful advice, which will make it easier for mom and dad at this stage.

Why is there a crisis?

When moving to a new age group the child undergoes changes in the manner of behavior: he becomes capricious, wayward, disobedient, violently shows emotions. The child's behavior is a kind of challenge to others, a desire to show their individuality, to become independent, to draw attention to themselves.

Depending on the nature of the problems that have arisen, the child may show sadness, isolation or aggression. What are the causes of the crisis?

Children 4-5 years old can do a lot: they have a sufficient vocabulary for communication, play activities, developed imagination, thinking, which allows you to get new interesting impressions about the world around you. The mind of a child develops very quickly. Along with it, the mood can change, which at this stage is characterized by unpredictability, undergoes a change in behavior - it becomes disorganized, chaotic.

Whims, quirks, tantrums, protest - such manifestations are "rich" in the age crisis of a 4-5-year-old child.

What are the reasons for the deterioration of the psychological state of the baby:

lack of care and attention;
lack of communication;
monotony in Everyday life;
problems with adaptation to a new environment;
psychological pressure of parents.

The influence of others on the state of the baby is of considerable importance. A child during a crisis should easily share his thoughts, emotions, feelings with others. The guys can hardly endure a long stay in the same environment, periodic leisure with exciting new experiences. Otherwise, children experience psychological discomfort and the course of the crisis becomes much more complicated.

How long can a crisis last?

On psychological condition baby can be provided negative impact consequences of a protracted crisis of three years. Parents should help the child overcome the difficult barrier in time, otherwise, as the child grows up, the problem will not go away, but will become deeper. The active rapid development of the baby can contribute to the crisis.

The duration of the crisis can be influenced by various factors:

family relationships, communication with peers;
child's lifestyle;
diseases or any pathologies;
individual character traits and mental characteristics.

Changes in mental development affect the child's condition, he becomes irritable and restless. Crisis duration is affected by style family education, temperament and personal qualities of the child. The crisis may last for several weeks, but may drag on for up to one year.

How does the crisis manifest itself?

The first signal that a child has entered a new phase of development is a change in behavior. The kid began to emotionally react to the remarks, words and actions of adults, is aggressive, whiny, irritable - which means that it is time for parents to think about how to help their child in overcoming crisis difficulties.

With the onset of a crisis, the baby can withdraw into himself and his experiences. He is in no hurry to share his thoughts and fantasies with adults. Meanwhile, it is at the moment of crisis that various fears and phobias most often arise: fear of the dark, loneliness, death of relatives, etc.

Children become extremely irritable, nervous, they are shy, afraid of the most everyday everyday things, self-doubt appears. They worry about the fact that their actions may not please adults.

In the behavior of the baby there are cardinal changes. An obedient child suddenly becomes nervous, capricious, uncontrollable. Babies begin to cry for no reason, whine, constantly demand something from their parents, throw tantrums. In the same time, negative emotions can suddenly be replaced by joy, fun, good mood.

For attentive parents, this symptomatology is obvious:

the baby strives for loneliness;
experiencing indifference to everything that happens;
becomes whiny and aggressive;
there is a rapid change of emotions;
there are drastic changes in behavior;
any request causes protest, whim, stubbornness.

It is important to remember that if you recognize the signs of an upcoming crisis early, then it will be easier to deal with it. It often happens that the psychological indicators of the child's behavior are so obvious that it is not difficult to recognize the crisis period. For example, a calm, balanced child may become hyperactive, or behavior may change in a radically opposite direction, and the child may suddenly become passive.

The crisis is also reflected in the physiological plan:

the child's sleep is disturbed;
he loses his healthy appetite;
immunity decreases;
there is a decline in strength, weakness is observed.

Parents may notice some forms of behavior unacceptable for the child: the use of swear words, ridicule, disobedience, boycott by the baby, the desire to ask questions all the time, etc. The crisis of 4-5 years is characterized by the fact that the child becomes more selfish and less controllable.

What should parents do?

Consider several factors that have a negative impact on the behavior of children during a crisis and suggest appropriate practical advice parents:

The child had adaptation problems, for example, when he began to attend kindergarten. Firstly, it should be noted that parents themselves should be positively disposed to visit the child kindergarten. It is also important that the baby be prepared for the kindergarten: you need to organize walks around the kindergarten, talk a lot about activities and leisure in the garden. Before visiting the kindergarten, teach the child to dress and undress on their own, help them to hold scissors in their hands, cut, make simple applications, work with plasticine, etc. You can find out from the teachers in advance what initial skills the baby needs to stay in kindergarten;
The kid lives in a monotonous environment, there are no changes in activities. Mental and physical development children are required to be able to move a lot and learn about the world around them by the age of 4. The kid should get used to the measured daily routine, but with a variety of interesting activities: obligatory cognitive walks should be replaced by short-term (no more than 15 minutes) homework - drawing, modeling, appliqué. In addition, it is important to involve the baby in every possible way in doing homework. Assistance in the kitchen or cleaning toys, etc. develops, improves mood, brings interest to the life of the baby, and he proudly tells everyone about his achievements;
The child has a misunderstanding in communication with peers. Often children 4-5 years old cannot communicate effectively in a group or in the yard. There are kids who can take away a toy, and there are those who give away their toys and stop communicating. What needs to be done? Those who are too active need to develop the ability to compromise, while those who are modest need to develop the ability to enter into a dialogue and defend their own interests. Always carefully understand what is the cause of the incident on the site or in the group and teach the baby to voice his requests, refusals or suggestions;
The child is withdrawn or shy. A kid of 4-5 years old can be unsure of his own abilities, withdraw into himself, and not communicate. He also may not speak well. In such cases, you need the help of a speech therapist or defectologist. To overcome self-doubt in a child, you can turn to child psychologist. Parents can also try to solve this problem on their own with some tricks. How to be? Often directly inspire your child that he communicates well, bring concrete examples, because, for sure, the baby has good friend. Note in your crumbs the mind, truthfulness, say that he is pleasant in communication. Do not criticize, but praise: for independent actions, showing initiative, correct solution. Let him take care of you, other family members, help in some business. Consult with the baby, when making decisions, take into account his opinion and emphasize it so that the child knows that his opinion matters.

When a child is going through a crisis age, it is difficult for parents to carry out balanced educational process so as not to suddenly break loose, not to make mistakes, and, thereby, not to aggravate the problem. Loving parents try to be more attentive, caring and patient during this period. Show maximum endurance, useful advice from a psychologist will help you with this:

Emotions must be kept under strict control. Any breakdown delays the solution of the problem for a longer time;
Use elements of the game in communication with the child: distract, offer the opportunity to choose and take the initiative;
Be consistent in words and actions, do not contradict yourself;
Demand from the baby only what you yourself can do;
Give the baby the opportunity to act independently, gradually let go of yourself;
Discuss adult problems in the absence of a child.

Expert opinions

Let's find out what not to do in a crisis period. You can temporarily limit entertainment as light punishments, but it is unacceptable to use physical strength, provoking scandals, insulting. The child's psyche cannot bear such loads, such behavior of parents will undermine their authority in the eyes of the crumbs.

Try to calmly find out what is bothering the baby, asking questions kindly, without unnecessary moralizing and without reproaching him.

At this age, excessive guardianship is also harmful. Performing all the actions for the child, you thus delay his development, bind him even more to yourself. Agree that in this case, both the child and the parents suffer. It will be better if you become imperceptibly control it. Give freedom of action in creative pursuits, increase control in daily life for safety purposes.

Directing the actions or actions of the baby, do not criticize or humiliate him, convincingly explain how best to act. It is also necessary to praise the baby in essence, to encourage in every possible way, but not to indulge.

Understanding that the child is manipulating you, remember the line when your condescending attitude is appropriate. You can not indulge children's whims and tantrums.

Communication with the child excludes the use of negative statements, shouting or abuse. Loving literate parents will always find the right adequate words and wording for the baby that will help resolve the situation peacefully.

Successful overcoming of the crisis of 4-5 years in a child depends on the wise, patient attitude of parents, their ability to understand the needs of their child, the desire to help the baby in a calm, warm environment and quickly go through the crisis stage.