The child is afraid of other children a year, why, what to do? The child is afraid of other children A child of 1.5 years is afraid of other children

Raising children takes a lot of time and effort. Every mom and dad dream of their child growing up and smart. Ideally, they want to raise socially active children who will make contact with their peers and be able to express their dissatisfaction. But not all kids get it. But what if the baby speaks badly, is afraid of other children and animals? Where to walk with a child, how to develop his abilities? Let's try to figure it out.

Possible reasons

If your baby does not like to be in crowded places, does not tolerate noise and companies, then this does not mean that he is not like everyone else. Sometimes children want to play on their own, but parents should also influence their child. Give his thoughts and actions the right direction.

If a child (2 years old) is afraid of children, this does not mean that he is autistic or abnormal. This may indicate that the baby was offended by other children. He could simply not understand what happened, but remember this and not want this situation to happen again. Almost all children remember the mistakes of the first unsuccessful experience well. It is not surprising that they do not want to experience negative emotions again. It is unlikely that your child just like that, for no apparent reason, protects himself from other children.

All the actions of the child speak of the situations in which he has been. Children who rarely make contact with peers may be strongly attached to their mother and rarely go out into society. Because of these moments, the baby does not know how to behave and is not friends with children.

Norms for children at 2 years old

Initially, it is worth understanding the standards for children aged 2 years. If your baby does not perform all the actions that are described, or does not say all the words, do not despair. Perhaps you simply did not try to talk to him in his language, and help child psychologist absolutely not useful. Just make more time for your child.

Motor skills and physical development:

• walks up and down the stairs. May lean on the railing or ask for the hand of an adult;
• jumps over obstacles;
• runs;
• stands on a stand;
• catches and throws the ball;
• plays children's outdoor games;
• draws lines and circles/ovals;
• able to bend down to pick up an object;
• controls facial expressions: folds lips into a tube, retracts cheekbones;
• kicks the ball.

Communication and words:

• studies children on the playground, tries to interact with them,
• can speak single words and ask questions,
• plays hide and seek,
• copying adults
• asking for help
• understands some everyday concepts,
• shows how old, calls the name.

Hygiene and life:

• eats and drinks independently
• brushes his own teeth
• goes to the potty
• taking off and putting on panties
• able to take off and put on shoes with a light fastener.

This small list refers to the standards. Each baby is individual, some do all of the above and even more, and some do not. Look at the development of your baby and do not miss the moment when you can interest him. Some parents teach all these procedures so that the child goes to kindergarten. Children 2 years old are usually taken to the garden, if there are no other conditions for education.

Why do children need to be social?

Modern parents in a century the latest technologies completely forget the simple truths. Even our ancestors passed on their experience and knowledge about the development of children, not only in educational activities, but mainly through games. The famous "Magpie-white-sided", "Ladushki", "Geese-geese" and other games are undeservedly forgotten. Although thanks to them it is possible to develop not only fine motor skills but also thinking, memory and perseverance.

Many children do not know how to properly communicate with peers. The problem comes from childhood, such people even in old age often unable to properly express their desires.

Adults set boundaries for communication and want children to conform to those activities. But it is worth understanding that each child has his own knowledge of the world, each kid is independently able to learn how to contact other children, communicate, play and even resolve conflicts. Therefore, do not try to express your point of view when it is inappropriate. The playground in the yard is a great place for kids to socialize.

Narrow social circle

In fact, the mother herself is more dependent on the child than he is on her. This psychological trap is often confusing and misleading. If a child constantly spends time only with mom, dad or grandmother, then the illusion arises that there is no need for other people. Therefore, when appearing on the street, a child (2 years old) is afraid of children or avoids, does not make contact.

There is an opinion that if the baby sees a limited circle of people, then in society he can behave aggressively. This is not because he has such a character, everything happens because he has no idea how to communicate in an extended circle. Due to the fact that the child constantly spends time with adults, it is easier for him to contact with them than with peers. By organizing children's activities, you (and your baby) will enjoy the process.

Actions of parents

• Expand not only yours, but also your child's.
• Change the environment.
• Be friends with families - the more people, the better.
• Play more children's outdoor games in the company of your baby's peers.
• Show interest in activities with children.
• Praise your child often.
• Give easy tasks first, then more difficult ones. After the baby copes with the first, say that he can, you just need to think.
• First teach the child to play, then ask to play.

Hedgehog gloves

Children who are brought up in strictness have more communication problems than children who are praised. Such a child will always have limits, try to please. Although in almost all cases, such requirements for children are too high. Because of this, the child withdraws into himself, because it is easier to be alone with his thoughts, where you will not be scolded, you will not be demanded and you will not be constantly not as good as you should be.

After all, it is not for nothing that it is believed that children feel everything, and, accordingly, if your child (2 years old) is afraid of children, then he is simply not self-confident and anxious. With such a baby, children will behave coldly or rudely, to which the child will not respond, because at home this is a normal reaction to his actions.

With a child's low self-esteem, his anxiety and self-doubt increase. Such children often say that they cannot do anything. This means that the child is afraid of other children and needs your help. He doesn't know how to ask you and not get rejected. He is not confident in his abilities, although he would very much like to try.

early autism

The most difficult case of a non-contact child is childhood autism. The playground in the yard does not cause joy, the child is closed in himself and is very convenient for parents. Such children can move objects while sitting in one place for an hour. Modern medicine diagnoses such cases already in the first year of a baby's life.

Signs of early autism

1. Starting from infancy, the child does not experience the joy of communicating with relatives and mother.
2. When he is picked up, he does not seek to touch an adult or hug him.
3. Doesn't make eye contact.
4. Repeats many times the same phrase, movement, action. These children develop language late.
5. Autistic children walk on tiptoe or hop around with a thoughtful and detached expression on their faces.

If you have any suspicions that the child may be sick, then contact a specialist. Timely detection of the disease is half the work on it. After the examination, the doctor will say whether the baby is healthy or sick.

If, nevertheless, your child suffers from autism, then start with small household chores that he is able to complete on his own. Children's outdoor games will help you develop interest in communication. Get pets, they are very good at helping the child to realize responsibility and adapt to the world around.

Communication with children

Many children show their first reaction to peers in the form of aggression. This is not an alarming indicator, but a peculiar method of studying other children and the world. In such games, they can realize where is "mine" and where is "alien". Aggression is a primitive way of interacting with other children. You can call it the first level of acquaintance.

Children are very sensitive, they are able to capture emotions and attitudes towards themselves. But in order for the child to get used to communication and outgrow fear and aggression, he must feel the constant support of his mother. Over time, his behavior will change, but for now, the mother must prevent conflicts, attend children's events.

For example, a child (2 years old) is afraid of children because a toy was taken from him in the sandbox. When they try to take away his toy from your baby, and he is against it, then you should ask the offender: "Does my daughter mind if you play?" - or: "First ask Katya, then take it." This is necessary so that the child feels protected on your part and can defend his desires. After all, he is also a person, and it is necessary to respect his desires and protests. As time goes by, your child will begin to explain his rights to children on his own.

If you see that your baby is simply offended from scratch, do not stand aside. Tell the offender in a stern tone that you can’t do this. This is bad! It is unlikely that he will want to continue, but if this does not work, then take him aside bad child. Until the baby reaches the age of 3, you must fully protect him if he cannot cope on his own. At an older age, children understand what is possible and what is not, they remember very well how their mother supported them, and independently defend their point of view.

Good day to all!
My daughter will be a year and a half soon. From birth, she was a restless child. She herself never lay in a crib, all the time I carried her in my arms. We were always together 24 hours a day. I rarely leave her and for a maximum of an hour. For more for a long time does not let go, begins to look for me around the apartment and worry.
The daughter is a temperamental, cheerful, smiling, sociable, very active and intelligent girl. She loves active games most of all, but she can also sit and draw, look at books. She plays a little, usually requires my presence.
Here's what worries me. She is very afraid when we go to a place unfamiliar to her, she is afraid when they begin to communicate with her. strangers(not all, but many). This became especially noticeable after a year. And the older, the worse. Today we went with friends to the mall for the kids to play in the playroom. I told my daughter in advance where we were going. But as soon as the carriage turned in an unfamiliar direction, she became upset and began to cry. With grief in half we reached the shopping center, we managed to distract the phone. As soon as they entered the shopping center, she began to cry again and got out of the stroller. When she got into the playroom, she cheered up and began to joyfully run and play.
I don't know how to take her to the doctor. She starts screaming as soon as we enter the office. Therefore, we have not visited the polyclinic for several months.
Problems even cause family holidays where only the closest are present: my parents, brother and another brother with his family. When she sees that a lot of people have gathered, she begins to cry and leads me back, without even understanding what kind of people they are. He is afraid of my brothers, he sees them once every 2 months approximately. Sometimes he gets used to it and starts to get along well with them, but the next time everything repeats again.
I don't know if this is normal, but in any case, I want to help her. We hardly ever go anywhere. Maybe you should go out more often? But how to avoid these tantrums? It's such a stress for both of us.
I never yell at her or scold her, I forbid very little. I try to pay a lot of attention, talk and explain everything to her. The atmosphere in the house is calm, the husband is also calm.
We go to the kindergarten (the CIPR group, children study with their mothers), we go very well. For about a month she adapted (we started walking at the age of one), behaved wary, but did not cry, and now she simply loves the kindergarten. On walks, too, very independent. Don't be afraid to walk away from me.
I wrote a lot, but I wanted to make the picture as clear as possible. I will be very glad to advice, with pleasure I will answer all questions!

Sometimes a child avoids contact with other children, in psychology this is called “fear of strangers”. This can happen at any age, starting from 8-9 months, and there are many reasons for this. How to save the baby from the problem and normalize his communication with peers so that he stops being afraid of them?

Why a child aged one year and older may be afraid of other children

There are many reasons why a child may be afraid of peers:

• offended on the site;
• hit;
• fear of uncontrolled actions towards oneself from others;
• inability to interact with children and find a way out of conflict situations;
• overprotective adults.

But speaking of fear of other children, you need to pay attention to the temperament and character of the child. Perhaps your baby is very shy, and therefore avoids contact with peers. In this case, he would rather prefer to communicate with someone he knows well, and not with a big noisy company. But if the baby starts to cry, starts screaming or says that he is afraid, it is worth considering. Observe its behavior to identify the cause of the problem.

Determining a fearful child is usually not difficult, given the tension and anxiety in behavior, avoidance of the source of the threat, and a positive response to the question of the presence of fear.

What to do to make the baby stop being afraid of peers

Fear of peers has a very strong effect on the child. You can overcome it different ways. But first of all, it is necessary to determine the situation, to identify negative experience in kindergarten, school or any other team that influenced the formation of the baby's behavior.

How to play on the playground with a lot of children to overcome fear

In more younger age(from about two years old) parents need to help their child deal with fear starting small:

• having come to the site, ask the baby to say hello to the children, draw his attention to those whom he saw earlier;
• during the game, assign roles: one digs, and the other takes the machine with sand;
• do not let others offend your little one, he should only have positive emotions, and he needs to be sure that in which case mom and dad will always protect him;
• in order for the kid to enjoy playing on the playground, in play centers and kindergarten, teach him to share, wait his turn and exchange toys, show him this by your own example.

Two-year-old children have a need for communication, which will help to cope with the problem. Increasing interest in peers will eventually overcome fear.

Now there are a lot of children's centers for the development of children, where they learn to play and do something together. Try to enroll your child in a group with no more than ten people of his age, experienced teachers will also prompt and help you solve this problem.

Example of adults for three-year-olds

There are certain circumstances that contribute to the emergence of fears. These include features family education when parents are too protective or, conversely, practically do not pay attention to the child due to constant employment or unwillingness to caress him.

If the baby is constantly surrounded by his mother or grandmother, he feels that he does not need anyone else. over-concern can do harm, because the chick needs to be released little by little from the nest and from under the warm wing, where it will not stay for life. Give your child more freedom - let him choose which toys to take to the sandbox and which playground to go to. Instill in the child a sense of self-confidence so that he grows up as a full-fledged personality.

A child's fears are often influenced by the words and actions of adults. For example, when a mother or grandmother says that she is afraid of dogs, diseases, disasters, it will not be surprising if, after some time, the baby also starts talking about these topics and is just as afraid. Watch your words and actions, because they greatly affect the perception of the world by your child.

Before the age of 3, babies are more likely to communicate with adults, observe them, learn the rules of behavior and follow the actions with various objects. Everything that happens around the child, he instantly “absorbs” it into himself like a sponge.

If the problem has already appeared, talk to the child. Support the baby, tell him about what you yourself were once afraid of. In more difficult cases, seek help from a psychologist, he will help get rid of the fear of children.

The positive impact of fairy tales

Fairy tales will help in the fight against fears. While reading them, analyze with the child the situations described and the actions of the characters. Analyze in detail what the characters in the stories are afraid of and how they overcome difficulties. This will help the child to believe in himself.

Correct Behavior Model

Lay in baby correct model behavior. To do this, you need to develop sociability. Go to developmental classes, playgrounds, visit, and also invite friends with children to your home. It is important to teach the baby to be cordial and respect the order in a strange family. Introduce him to peers and show that they are great guys and you should not be afraid of them. Convince the baby that it is interesting and exciting to play with him, teach him perseverance in certain situations.

If a person from childhood is calm, confident and sociable, he will easily enter any team.

What not to do if the child has fears

1. Don't focus on an existing problem.
2. Don't say your baby's "diagnosis" out loud.
3. Do not discuss the situation with others, so as not to injure the child.
4. Do not force someone to be friends, do not impose communication.
5. Protect the child from offensive nicknames and any labels, because it is quite difficult to get rid of them.
6. Refer to other children as kind and sweet.

Experts point out that moms and dads different approach to children's fears. Women react more seriously to this problem, and men are simpler: in one case, they consider it necessary to support the baby, and in the other - to shame. That is why psychologists often have to work with parents (usually mothers and grandmothers), pointing out their mistakes in upbringing and behavior.

It is not necessary to work with fears for those parents who do not have the habit of teaching children to be afraid, and who do not reinforce the cowardly behavior of children.

Encyclopedia of Practical Psychology "Psychologos"

http://lib.komarovskiy.net/rabota-so-straxami-u-detej.html

The easiest way to overcome fear is to distract the child, switch his attention to a secondary problem. Try to ask the kid to draw his fears, to lose the situation with his parents. Children can cope with the problem themselves, it is important to tell them how to do it.

The main technique in working with fears in children is the removal of the child's fear of fear. ... Wordings: “Fear is not scary”, “Fear is normal, everyone is afraid, it’s not shameful to be afraid”, “Fear helps us, fear takes care of us”, “You need to accept your fear” - all these outwardly diverse suggestions have one inner task: a calm, fearless attitude of the child to those psychophysiological processes that are commonly called fear.

Encyclopedia of Practical Psychology "Psychologos"

http://lib.komarovskiy.net/rabota-so-straxami-u-detej.html

Children's fears are normal, but the role of parents is very important in solving this problem. Help the child cope, support him, talk to him and try to gradually get rid of fear. Surround the little person with warmth, care and love. Work on yourself, look at yourself from the outside, because children completely copy adults. Tell us how you deal with your fears. If you cannot solve the problem on your own, contact a child psychologist.

Sometimes parents may notice that the child is afraid of other children. Of course, ideally, the baby should easily communicate with peers, and not shun them. By interacting with other children, the baby quickly finds its place in society.

Define the situation

The worldview of a child and an adult is very different, so when a baby avoids communication, there are reasons for that. If we consider the situation kindergarten, school or other team, then sometimes this may be the first negative experience that affects the formation of the baby's behavior. At home, parents surround their child with love and care, and he expects the same attitude from others.

If a child is afraid of other children, then perhaps he was offended somewhere, and now he does not know how to build communication. Parents need to take action to remedy the situation.

What should be of concern:

• when the baby feels safe only on an empty playground;
• the baby plays separately from other peers, although they are nearby;
• the child only watches the children and runs away when any child approaches.

If your baby has become afraid of his peers, then if desired, the parents themselves can decide this problem without the participation of a psychologist.

Mom's guardianship

If the baby has become non-contact, then the reason may lie in the excessive guardianship of the mother, grandmother or nanny. When he spends all his time with them, he feels that he no longer needs anyone, and his mother, in turn, supports this feeling, because she so wants to protect the child and understand that she is vital to him.

Indeed, there is a symbiotic relationship between a mother and her child, because they feel like one organism, as during pregnancy. But over time, excessive guardianship can do harm, because the chick needs to be released little by little from the nest and from under the warm wing, where it cannot stay for life.

Quite often, if the circle of communication of parents is rather narrow, that is, guests rarely come to you, and you communicate with few people, you will begin to notice that the docile and meek kinder, getting into the children's team, began to fight sharply, although before that he nobody noticed it. It's just that the kid does not know how to communicate with peers, and has chosen such a line of behavior.

That is why take the child out more often, try to constantly walk in new places, not necessarily crowded. Invite children home, because in their territory the child will feel more confident.

Give your child more freedom - let him choose which toys to take to the sandbox and which playground to go to.

Setting up the right behavior

If a person from childhood is calm, confident and sociable, he will easily enter any team. You need to help the child develop sociability and lay the necessary model of behavior.

Adaptation among children goes well in developmental classes, in game centers, on walking grounds. Take your baby to visit your friends who also have children. Invite your child's peers to your home. Teach your child to be hospitable and respect the order of others.

Help your child meet other children, show that they should not be afraid. If a controversial situation arose on the playground, the baby should feel support from you, which will give him confidence and courage.

Sometimes the conflict arises because the child did not share toys. You must respect his sense of ownership and not force him. Loyally explain to another kid that these are your things, only an exchange is acceptable if the owner agrees to this.

If your child has been offended, stand up for him by reprimanding the offender. The baby must understand that in difficult situations he has nothing to fear, relatives will surely intercede for him.

Fear or shyness?

First you need to find out why the baby began to shun peers. It does not have to be fear, perhaps it is due to his type of temperament. A child can be shy and prefer not a noisy company, but friendship with only one baby. Activity and assertiveness may not be inherent in your child.

Analyze your behavior and honestly answer the following questions:

• does the baby feel at home as a person;
• whether he shows personality or follows clear recommendations from his parents;
• can the baby insist on his opinion or is everything decided by adults;
• during walks and communication with others, the baby is responsible for himself or his parents do it for him;
• whether you allow the offspring to play on the playground on their own or keep him constantly by the hand and nearby, protecting him from all troubles.

If, after analyzing the situation, you realized that this is not shyness, but fear, and the baby is really afraid of children, then you need to start actively helping. Take a closer look at the baby - how does he react to various situations? Fairy tales, pictures, books and discussion of various moments will help you, where you still find out the cause of fear. The kid will hear or see something and will definitely show his discomfort.

We develop sociability

If a child has become afraid of other children, then the situation can be corrected only with great love and understanding of his inner state.

If we are talking about shyness, then the baby needs to increase self-esteem. How to do it? Praise the child, try to give him more freedom in making an independent decision. Convince him that playing with him is interesting and exciting. If you are being too harsh with your baby, then admit it and try to change your behavior. If the child has done something bad, gently explain to him why it should not be done.

If the cause of alienation is humiliation and aggression from peers, work with fairy tales. Using the example of fantastic characters, develop resilience in a toddler in certain situations. Make up stories when the children have done bad deeds but they realized what they had done and corrected themselves. Explain that good and kind children have many friends, and if trouble happens, they always forgive each other.

If you feel that you cannot cope with the current situation and the crumbs' fear of other children has become too great, then contact a child psychologist.

There are things that are strictly prohibited in the fight against the non-contact of the baby.

• Don't focus on an existing problem.
• Don't say your baby's "diagnosis" out loud.
• Do not discuss the situation with others, so as not to injure the child.
• Do not force someone to be friends, do not impose communication.
• Protect the child from offensive nicknames and any labels, because it is quite difficult to get rid of them.
• Refer to other children as kind and sweet.

As a rule, parents are an example of communication with others. It is worth paying attention to this, for example, look at yourself from the outside.

Cases when the baby avoids other children are not at all uncommon. The reason for this phenomenon, mainly, lies in the fact that the parents did not teach the baby in time to interact with peers, did not show how to get out of conflicts. Therefore, start teaching your child to communicate as early as possible so that he becomes sociable and cheerful in the children's company.