Soul cry: I want love, I want children and happiness, but where can I find all this ?!
Such thoughts are often visited by girls who are a little late with love and personal happiness because of a career or for other reasons. Especially when all the friends and classmates, even classmates, have long been married and have children.
Why is it impossible to meet the one, the only one with whom you want to live life and raise children? Wanting love, children and personal happiness is not enough. You need to strive for this and work on yourself.
I want love, but you have excessive requirements for a partner
This is one of the main reasons why girls 25-28 years old still do not get married - they are not looking for the perfect man, but their requirements are still very high. Moreover, such girls are smart and have already taken place as individuals and as professionals.
It is difficult for them to find a worthy person in their environment, one with whom it would be not only physically good, but also morally interesting. And in terms of status and position, he should not be lower, but rather, at least a little, but higher than them - he is a man, he must lead.
But such men are either already dismantled by others, or much older than them. And those that are a little simpler are simply afraid of such girls - against the background of such smart and successful they will not seem like they would like. What do girls like to do, how to find their love, have children and become happy? Urgently lower the bar of their requirements or look for partners on different sites on the Internet?
First you need to delve into yourself and understand why the requirements are so high. Most often, they were so absorbed in their careers at a young age that they completely missed the period of candy-bouquet relationships and the related stupidities and experiences.
They lag behind in maturity from their peers, who have already experienced all this on themselves. And in their partner, they are no longer looking for a lover and loved one, but for an older comrade or caring father. And since childhood, they are accustomed to believing that the elders are smarter, more educated and superior to them in all respects.
So they set these excessive requirements for their alleged husband, focusing on the stereotype of an “adult” person, while remaining themselves “children”.
For such a girl, it is best to drastically change the circle of her communication or expand it - for example, find a new hobby that involves communication with different people. People who communicate on the same wave about their hobbies (hobbies, sports, dances) no longer pay attention to the status of a partner, to his career growth - they simply have common interests. And this will be the first step for the search for “peers” to oneself.
Next will be a reassessment of both their values \u200b\u200band the requirements for a potential partner. And from here, and not far from falling in love, then to a happy marriage! According to statistics, such marriages are considered the strongest and happiest - marriages built on the same interests of partners.
I want love, but you have a low self-esteem
Also a fairly common reason for the failed personal life of girls 25-28 years old. Just sitting and telling yourself that I want children, I want love and happiness will not work. When a girl’s self-esteem is understated, she tries to merge with the crowd, not stand out, completely dissolve among her friends or company. Her timidity, shyness, inability to conduct a conversation, to give herself up, simply repels even potential suitors.
Such girls often do not have female friends, they are only friends with men, moreover, from school years. They are simply afraid that, against the backdrop of bright friends, they will become even more inconspicuous, and therefore they avoid female friendships. It’s easier for them with men, they are absolutely not competitors to them, but without competition there are no victories and craving for victories.
And if there is no this thrust, then it will not change. What should such girls do? How do they find their happiness?
First of all, you still need to overpower yourself and find a female friend - she will begin to push for change. Women are very fond of giving advice, arranging someone else's happiness, forging relationships for their friends - this need is unconsciously laid down from birth, because they are future mothers.
And the maternal instinct makes them rank among the children of all the "unfortunate" that surround them. Such a friend, rolled up her sleeves, will take on global changes in the life of her new girlfriend, she will only have to follow her instructions. And when the first results of the changes appear, the girl’s self-esteem will increase and she will not return to the very state of “colorlessness” she was in before.
In any case, you can’t follow the proverb “Love and the stove will find you!”, You must try to change if the current state of things does not suit you. And what changes should be made in her life or in her thoughts - each girl must decide for herself.
Now there are a lot of opportunities for this - the Internet has facilitated networking and the search for like-minded people. The main thing is to change yourself first and understand what is hindering your happiness. And having understood all this, immediately take fate into your own hands! Try not to scream anymore: I want love, I want children and happiness. Go forward to your goal and!
A PHOTO Getty images
It would seem that we have every opportunity to find those who are of interest to us: dating sites, social networks and mobile applications are ready to give anyone a chance and promise to quickly find a partner for every taste. But it’s still hard for us to find our love, connect and stay together.
Highest value
According to sociologists, the anxiety with which we think of great love is well-founded. Never before had a love feeling been given so much importance. It is the foundation of our social ties, society is largely based on it: it is love that creates and destroys couples, and therefore families and family clans.
She always has serious consequences. Each of us feels that the quality of the love affair that we have to live will determine our fate. “I need to meet a man who will love me and who I will love in order to live with him and finally become a mother,” say the 35-year-olds. “And if I stop loving him, then I’ll divorce,” many of those who already live in a couple rush to clarify ...
The level of our expectations regarding love relationships has skyrocketed. Faced with excessive demands made by potential partners, many of us feel “not good enough” and do not find the strength to decide on a relationship. And the compromises inevitable in the relationship of two loving people confuse the maximalists who agree only on ideal love.
They want romantic love, as in TV shows, and at the same time prepare themselves for sexual relations with the help of porn movies
Teenagers also did not escape general anxiety. Of course, opening love at this age is risky: it is likely that we will not be loved in return, and adolescents are especially vulnerable and vulnerable. But today their fears have multiplied. “They want romantic love, like on TV shows,” says clinical psychologist Patrice Huerre, “and at the same time they are preparing themselves for sexual relations with the help of porn movies.”
Conflict of interest
Contradictions of this kind prevent us from surrendering to love impulses. We dream at the same time to be independent and to bind ourselves with another person, live together and "walk on our own." We attribute to the couple and the family the highest value, we consider them to be the source from which to draw strength and a sense of security, and at the same time glorify personal freedom.
We want to live an amazing, unique love story without stopping to engage in ourselves and our personal development. Meanwhile, if we want to manage our love life as confidently as we used to plan and build a career, then self-forgetfulness, the desire to surrender to our feelings and other emotional movements that make up the essence of love will inevitably be under suspicion.
Therefore, we would very much like to feel the intoxication of love, remaining, each for our part, completely immersed in building our social, professional and financial strategies. But how to dive headlong into the pool of passion, if so much vigilance, discipline and control are required of us in other areas? As a result we are not only afraid to make unprofitable investments in a couple, but also wait for dividends from a love union.
Fear of losing oneself
“In our time, love, more than ever, is necessary for self-awareness, and at the same time it is impossible precisely because in a love affair today we are not looking for another, but self-awareness,” explains psychoanalyst Umberto Galimberti (Umberto Galimberti).
The more we get used to focusing on the satisfaction of our own needs, the more difficult it is for us to concede. And so we proudly straighten our shoulders and declare that our personality, our "I" is more valuable than love and family. If you need to sacrifice something, then we will sacrifice love. But we are not born into the world by ourselves, we become them. Each meeting, each event forms our unique experience. The brighter the event, the deeper its footprint. And in this sense, little is compared with love.
We proudly declare that our personality, our "I" is more valuable than love and family. If you need to sacrifice something, then we will sacrifice love
“Love is an interruption of oneself because another person crosses our path, - answers Umberto Galimberti. - At our own peril and risk, he is able to break our independence, change our identity, destroy all defense mechanisms. But if there weren’t these changes that break me down, hurt me, endanger me, how would I let another cross my path — one that alone can let me go beyond myself? ”
Do not lose yourself, but go beyond yourself. Remaining yourself, but already different - at a new stage in life.
War of the sexes
But all these difficulties, aggravated in our time, cannot be compared to the fundamental anxiety that accompanies the attraction of men and women to each other from time immemorial. This fear is born out of unconscious competition.
Archaic rivalry is rooted in the very core of love. Today, it is partially masked by social equality, but the eternal rivalry is still making itself known, especially in pairs with a long relationship. And all the many layers of civilization that govern our lives are unable to hide the fear of each of us before another person.
In everyday life, it manifests itself in the fact that women are afraid to become dependent again, to become subordinate to a man, or to suffer guilt if they want to leave. Men, on the other hand, see that the situation in the couple is becoming uncontrollable, that they cannot withstand competition with their girlfriends, and are becoming more and more passive next to them.
“Where men used to hide their fear behind contempt, indifference and aggression, today most of them choose to flee,” said family psychotherapist Catherine Serrurier. “This is not necessarily a departure from the family, but a moral escape from the situation when they don’t want to engage in relationships anymore, they’ll abandon them.”
Lack of knowledge of another as a cause of fear? This is an old story not only in geopolitics, but also in love. Ignorance of myself, my deepest desires and inner contradictions is added to fear. To find your love, sometimes it’s enough to abandon the defensive position, feel the desire to learn new things and learn to trust each other. It is mutual trust that forms the basis of any pair.
Unpredictable start
But how do you know that the one with whom fate brought us suits us? Can a great feeling be recognized? There are no recipes and rules, but there are encouraging stories that are so needed for everyone who goes in search of love.
“I met my future husband on the bus,” recalls 30-year-old Laura. - Usually I feel shy to talk with strangers, sit in headphones, face the window, or work. In short, I create a wall around me. But he sat next to me, and somehow it turned out that we chatted incessantly all the long way to the house. I would not call it love at first sight; rather, there was a strong sense of predestination, but in a good way. My intuition told me that this person will become an important part of my life, that he will become ... well, yes, the only one. ”
How to bring a fateful meeting?
No magic will make someone who embodies our ideal appear. If we want to meet our love, our task is to prepare for it. 5 important ideas from the coach Benedict An (Bénédicte Ann).
1. Reconcile with your love story.To do this, you need to answer yourself two key questions: what did the other leave me when leaving (faith in myself, spontaneity, joy of life)? And what hidden bonuses did my previous relationships have?
2. Bear your share of responsibility “Am I afraid of suffering?” “Am I scared of losing control?”, “I don’t want to make a wrong choice again?” It makes sense to write down the answers in order to then evaluate how our negative projections affect the relationships we enter into.
3. Consider reality No need to fool yourself (“With me he will be different”). It is better to immediately listen to negative signals (emotions, sensations) and ask direct questions (“Are you divorced (a)?”) In order to act on the basis of reality, not fantasy.
4. Define your project What do I want: to create a family, change the way of life, save my territory? What do I expect from a relationship? (I am ready to fall in love again, I like family life ...).
5. Choose the one who is good ... for me Does the person I met want to date or make a couple? What is his (her) motivation? Why didn’t he have a relationship in the past? What does he (a) want from life? Answers to these questions will help you think clearer. D. G.
Each person dreams of finding his soul mate and the words “I want love” are spinning in his head in an endless stream.
Only along with these same words, the question arises “How to find your love”, “Where is this love?”
It would seem that you are no worse than others, but in many ways better, communicate with young people and not a recluse, but there is still no love, there are no feelings that would make you lose your head and soar above the ground, there is no person who wants to make you happy and you him.
In various women's magazines and articles on the Internet, it is advised to start looking for your prince in a wide variety of places, thus expanding the circle of your interests, and, accordingly, acquaintances and somewhere among all these acquaintances there is a long-awaited prince and love will come with him.
There is a truth in these tips that you can’t argue with, since just wanting love and staying home without doing anything would be foolish.
But the whole paradox is that the more you say to yourself “I want love” and look for this same love, the further it moves away.
This can be considered as a phenomenon, can be attributed to one of the vital principles of the “principle of the swing”, or you can just look at this situation from the other side.
When you start chasing love, and set this goal in front of you, you begin to lose yourself, you begin to forget about yourself as a person, your behavior speaks for itself, speaks of uncertainty, confusion, unnatural behavior. Who, then, wants to be with such a woman, because everyone around will see a woman who is not able to love.
Thus, starting to expand your horizons, set yourself the goal of “broadening your horizons,” “to learn more about what you are interested in.”
Not to go to places where, presumably, there are good candidates for the role of “Your Prince”, but to go to places where it will be interesting for you, where you can realize yourself and draw something new and useful for yourself.
Starting to expand your horizons, you will begin to expand the boundaries of your interests, you will become richer and more self-sufficient, self-confidence will fill you.
You will begin to feel much easier and calmer in life, and it is then that you open up to this very love, because all your behavior will exude openness.
Often people confuse the meaning of the words "Confident in themselves" with the meanings of "Arrogant, proud, selfish." A self-confident person, on the contrary, is easy-going, easy-going and easy to communicate, precisely because he does not need to prove anything. Just then, men feel that you are open to communication, open to feelings.
And here - the words of the song “Love inadvertently descends when you do not expect it at all” are recalled.
And this happens in most cases, because now your style of behavior is changing, becoming attractive to men, and love will not take long, because men like to win just such women who are ready for a relationship, but as if they are not waiting for them at all.
Love is near
Many women believe that love is usually inaccessible, it is somewhere far away and it must be sought. Love and the person you love may be right in front of you, it is quite possible you communicate with him every day.
One of the women who turned to us with a request to help her find her love wrote to us:
“I always lived in expectation of love and the appearance of a beautiful man in my life, I knew that someday I would find him. In my porch, a guy lives, only I am on the 16th floor, and he is on the 9th floor - Mishka, I knew him from childhood, as they say, we played together in the sandbox, and as a man I basically did not look at him.
One evening, returning from work, I met him at the entrance, we went in together, the elevator turned out to be broken, and we had to go up on foot. From about the fifth floor I began to breathe quicker and get up heavily, Misha noticed and offered to take me in my arms, I knew perfectly well that he would not go this far, and of course refused, then he just started to help me, pushing me, holding my hand and behind the waist. Then, I felt the first wave of excitement and pleasant sensations from his touch. It was fun for me and it’s even harder to walk from laughter, as a result of reaching his floor, he offered to go in, take a break and have tea, I agreed. The evening turned out to be very pleasant, it was strange for us to talk about anything, and I left it quite late, and I went home by elevator. The next day he came to me with flowers and invited me for a date ... "
This example is not the only one that shows and proves that love can lie in wait anywhere, the main thing is to be open to feelings and relationships, and then, perhaps, you will meet your man without even looking for him.
We are well aware that each person is individual and each person has his own experiences and problems, and not always everything is as easy as it seems at first glance.
Everything requires not only diligence and work on oneself, but also the ability to look at the world correctly, to know certain patterns and rules of this life, which allow you to make it happy and find your love.
Different women come to our love-911 service with different problems and our specialists always find solutions and solutions to any situations, giving detailed recommendations, help women solve their problems and find their love.
Of course, everyone decides for himself how to dispose of the information received, and it depends only on you and the decisions you make whether you can find your love and fulfill your plan.
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No matter how courageous and harsh men are, most of them want to be loved. Some simply shout with their appearance: “I want love”! Of course, it’s incredibly cool to be such a macho man who drives women crazy with just a glance. But on his way he will surely come across one single girl who does not react to this look, and herself does not rush to his neck.
There are also types of guys who are terribly shy, and just absolutely can not make friends with girls. For both cases, here are a few useful tips that can help a lonely shy girl, and no less lonely in terms of love, a womanizer, to have a real and sincere relationship.
Tip number one. Having noticed a pretty girl with whom I wouldn’t mind starting a relationship, do not rush to fly to her at all costs, grab her arms, carry her home and say to her right away: "I want love." Yes, in some cases, if a girl comes across with a sense of humor, it may even end in a wedding, but not all ladies are like that. To get started, approach her solely for the purpose of conversation. Easy flirting has not disturbed anyone yet. In addition, he is the first step on the road to relationships. And so, deciding to talk to her, communicate easily and naturally, as if you are talking with a person you have known for a long time. Do not worry about whether something will come out with her or not. You start talking, stutter and spoil everything to hell. Let's develop this one.
Tip number two.
To start a conversation with the object you have chosen you need, first of all, with a presentation. Say your name, ask her name. Humor is welcome, but do not bend. Then you can just ask how she is doing and what her plans are for the future. Girls love to chat, although let's not forget that there are exceptions: there are girls who like to listen more (yes, don’t be surprised, such exist). It is advisable to immediately determine which one you came across.
Tip number three. If you meet a girl who likes to talk more, then show your politeness and interest. Try to ask her more questions, but so far do not go into private. Ask, books and more on the little things. In fact, she also wants love. If, on the contrary, the girl asks questions, you should try to answer as truthfully as possible, because if this is not your last meeting, your lie will come out sideways to you. Don't be too critical, especially if you don’t like any question on her part. Just politely try to translate the topic.
Tip number four.
When talking with a girl, do not hold your hands at the seams. Naturally, this does not mean the active waving of their propellers to the right and left. Just watch how the girl behaves. If you feel sympathy on her part, begin to slowly reduce the distance between you. But this does not mean that you can sit in her arms and again begin to speak erotically: I want love). It is not ethical and unnatural. Just sit down or come closer, as if by accident, touch your arm or shoulder. Her, not mine. Just do not allow yourself too much, you, nevertheless, only met.
And the last tip, tip number five.
Do not forget about the "mirror of the soul." When talking with a girl, do not look at one point in space. But do not stare at it, otherwise she will think that you are some kind of maniac. It would be ideal to periodically look into her eyes, and do not forget to smile at her during the dialogue. Leave her a number if you are interested in further communication.
Well, that seems to be all. It’s easy, believe me. And if you are lucky enough to meet a girl with whom you will feel “at ease” from the first words, you have met “your” man. And for the future, girls are not wild animals, they should not be afraid. So, more courage and a sense of humor and! Someone will definitely tell you: "I want love! Only with you!"
It happens that I really want love ... I want to start over and over again about the sweet bliss and thoughts to dissect open spaces .... I want to believe and hope, trust and forgive, make plans and be happy ... I want to love ...
I want love ... So that my heart again
In my chest burned and blossomed ...
So that love is the foundation in everything
In the soul, so that the feeling of a new life ...
I want love ... Big and real!
Such that the world around always sparkles ...
Of love so often passing into passion
In a beautiful world of crooked mirrors ...
I want love ... I am looking for her everywhere ...
I want love ... So that forever ...
Let it be like a miracle!
I want to love at least occasionally ... slightly ...
Never before has a heart in sinful passion
Could not affect my love ...
Never in the pitch darkness yet
Love, like a beautiful light, did not come ...
Still never passionately and vulgarly
Not trembling in a young chest ...
I want love ... albeit terrible and insidious,
But I want love like never before ...
And every day in the crowd of passers-by again
Looking for a familiar look from under the eyelashes ...
I want to say the three most important words!
By writing them to one of those pages,
Which are like a book of my life
Beautiful handwriting written long ago ...
After all, about love, my dreams and thoughts ...
I want mutual love anyway!
I want love! I want you to know
How I thirst for your great love ...
I want to penetrate your dreams!
And live in the soul, as in a secluded corner!
I want to change the whole world for love,
But only to be with you ...
To wake up with you again and again ...
Caress you with one hand and look ...
I want to give you warmth of soul
I want to admire you alone ...
I want to live my life with you
And not for a moment to part with you ...
I want big and real love!
I want to look with enthusiasm at you ...
May your magical look life-giving
He caresses the soul sometimes loving ...
I will swear day and night before God
That I need you alone on earth ...
I want to go the same way with you
And day and even night and in the darkness ...
I want love ... But only yours forever ...
I want love, I say for sure:
I love you, I love you heartily
I always idolize you ...
I’m constantly missing something in my life
With love in life, somehow unlucky ...
But often the heart stops in passion
And the ice is melting in my soul with a drop ...
Then I can breathe deeply
And the world around is blooming with a colored carpet ...
Well, then again I'm sad again
The beautiful world is turning gray outside the window ...
And again, everyday life is scratched with ice,
The moon threatens to drop by ...
But in a different way it’s unlikely to be,
It’s so hard for me to fall asleep now ...
I just really lack love!
I want love so much! Big, big!
And my heart sank in anticipation ...
And waiting until I fall in love with all my heart ...
I want something, but I don’t know ...
I just miss every day now ...
I look longingly at the sky and the stars,
And now in my eyes more and more tears ...
Everything is somehow gray and clouds in the sky ...
Longing torments my soul days and nights ...
An angry gruel prevents me from breathing ...
I really miss your love ...
And the world is not nice ... and life is not that now ...
Not so good as it used to be ...
The soul is now a solid emptiness ...
And the time on the clock froze for a long time ...
There are only two words: I want love!
And now there are no more words and thoughts ...
I'll come right away, just call ...
You are the one meaning of my great life ...
So the moon gazed out the window,
That evening, out of the clouds at me ...
And I thought: she doesn’t care
That I want to find my love ...
She doesn't care that I'm suffering now
What I want love is big again ...
I just don’t understand one thing:
Why is the moon laughing at me ...
And a scattering of stars in the dark sky
Treacherously glistening from afar ...
I’ll close the curtains on my window,
In order not to see the moon in the clouds ...
And in the morning the sun will burst into my house
And defeating the moon a dreary light
Touch my soul again
And he will say that there is no love today ...
I want to call upon all the forces of nature,
To ask them to indicate exactly
In what land, what time of year
Is it better for me to seek love on earth?
Let the wind point the way
Let the sun illuminate brightly the way ...
Let the light shine in the distance with a beacon
Water will help you look at yourself ...
And with some sort of support
I’ll set off in search of love ...
I see her clean, snow-white,
And smelling like all your dreams ...
I know I'll find her one day
After all, I have long wanted love!
Such as will not be in life twice!
Such as your best feelings ...
Everyone says there is a feeling
That supposedly eternal passions are akin to ...
Like, to master it is truly art!
And from him the lights always burn in his soul ...
And the feeling is all called love
And they say she cares about the blood ...
I so want to be infected by love!
I want mutual love so much!
And let them say that it can often hurt
Soul and heart to create love ...
I still want love involuntarily
To resurrect with love again and again ...
After a series of changing days
So hard to see simple happiness ...
A lot of news comes in life,
But not the love of great and weighty power ...
I want love! I want love!
Such that the heart sank again ...
So that we can always be with you
And so that we could have enough for two ...
In the meantime, in a crazy series
Days of change I wait dutifully
To not know how, when and where
Fall in love, as in you, already repeatedly ...
Heart torn to pieces often hurts ...
I live without love, but fade away ...
I always dream of love involuntarily ...
And I bite my lips to blood ...
And no one to snuggle inadvertently ...
And I want to whisper love words ...
But only the light of the moon stares reproachfully
And only the wind longs for a kiss ...
Isn’t we coming to the light
To love your soulmates?
But often we don’t find them in the crowd ...
And for love we drop tears ...
But I don’t want to give up, I don’t dare!
I want love! I will search forever!
I will prove: I know how to love,
That I will do it endlessly ...
I can’t resist anymore,
When love comes into my soul ...
And where are you, my love wore?
I was looking for you in the heat and in the cold ...
And you were quietly waiting nearby
And she didn’t even want to give me a sign ...
Ah, if I knew you before
I used to be so selflessly in love ...
But no, don’t leave, I don’t swear
And I do not want to drive you from the doorway ...
I just inadvertently resent
Why did you treat me so severely ...
But know that I want you! Do you hear
I want the same true love! ..
Believe me, and there you will see,
Love my sincere look, alluring ...
I don’t even need paradise without love!
Even sky cannot compare with love ...
When passion stops the heart
It seems to me that this is only a dream ...
And in the heart comes weightlessness ...
The soul soars, dissolving in madness ...
And at night again visits sleeplessness
But I just enjoy her dreams ...
I tremulously keep your image light ...
I want your life-giving love ...
And there is no finer dream than this
A dream of mutual, true love ...
Wanting love is probably not harmful ...
To want love is the need of each of us ...
But falling in love is not easy, and probably
Not everyone can fall in love with us ...
But how to check? Where are the secrets of happiness?
How to learn about love without falling in love?
How to cuddle without love for a loved one?
How to feel love a big rush?
Do not think about love viciously!
In love you should not look for a dirty trick ...
Everyone needs to fall in love urgently,
Appreciating beautiful love every breath ...
When the sun sets in the expanse of the sea
And the city is plunged into darkness
Without beautiful love I miss
I want love only for HIM!
Closing my eyes, I see a gentle image,
His eyes, smile and features ...
I love you, I love you boundlessly!
You are the ideal of exquisite dreams ...
I will never refuse love
Even if destined to love one ...
I will wait for your only phrase:
“I want to live my whole life with you alone!”
My love can do everything, everything can do
She is able to overcome everything ...
How bad that sometimes they don’t believe in love,
And they don’t want to get sick with love ...
I want to love! I want love!
And even if there is love in the heart,
I won't forever give up a kiss
Which gently excites the blood ...
I will not give up touch caresses,
From tender words, walks under the moon ...
Won't give up the passion of blowing
Which so parts of me dream ...
And let people gossip anything
Let them say: there is no love in the world ...
I know I can become free then
When I meet love with dawn ...
