How to solve family conflicts without resentment and nerves. Family conflicts, their causes and methods of resolution Features of family relations

And this is not surprising, because it is in the family that the closest contacts between people occur. And at the same time, each of the family members wants to live in accordance with their ideas and views, and it is not always possible to correlate them with the habits and beliefs of other family members. It is on this basis that family conflicts occur. From time to time, spouses, parents and children, or people of the middle and older generation, appear on opposite sides of the "barricade".

Conflict can occur not only when family members have different views and beliefs. Sometimes confrontation occurs when people cannot understand each other and because of this they come to the wrong conclusion. This gives rise to claims and grievances, and it is not always possible to resolve the problem peacefully. And what else could cause a tense situation leading to a quarrel?

Common Causes of Family Conflicts

Leo Tolstoy wisely remarked that "... every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Each of us could give examples of this. This is about misfortune. With conflicts, the same thing - their causes in different families can be completely different. Even the passage of marriage through different stages of its existence can create conflict situations. What types of family development stages can be called crisis?

The period of "grinding in" when the newlyweds learn to live like a married couple;
The birth of the first child and the development of the role of mom and dad;
Birth of subsequent children;
When a child goes to school;
Children enter adolescence;
Growing up of children and leaving the parental home;
The crisis of the middle age of the spouses;
Retirement of spouses

Each of these stages can create various stressful situations, which, in turn, can serve as a potential cause of family conflict.

Changes in marital status and family affairs can also contribute to stress. It could be:

Divorce or separation of spouses;
Relocation to a new place of residence;
Business trips over long distances and for a long time;
The need to work in another state;
Change in family financial position

So it turns out that family conflicts and their causes can be completely different. The relationship to each other, the values \u200b\u200band needs of each member of the family may change over time, and they may feel incompatible with the others.

Types of confrontations within the family

Psychologists distinguish various types of family conflicts:

Actually conflicts. Even in a happy and healthy, well-functioning family, quarrels occur from time to time. Confrontations can be caused by the mismatch of the views and goals of different family members. Conflicts can be resolved, and then they do not threaten the stability of family ties. Contradictions in the family can arise at all levels, that is, brothers and sisters, spouses, as well as parents and children can quarrel among themselves.
Tension b. Psychologists call tension long-standing, unresolved conflicts.They can be obvious and open, but they can be simply temporarily suppressed. In any case, they accumulate and cause negative emotions, leading to constant irritability, aggressiveness and hostility, which ultimately causes a loss of contact between family members.
The crisis. You can talk about it when the conflict and tension have reached a stage where all the negotiation models that have been in force until now begin to fail, and, consequently, the real needs of individuals or a group of households are chronically unsatisfied. Crises often lead to family disorganization, that is, certain obligations of spouses to each other or the responsibilities of parents towards children cease to be properly performed. And the disorganization of the family, in turn, often ends with its disintegration.

These are the main types of conflicts. But what can cause them? What roughness in relationships between close people can lead to disaster?

Search for "malfunctions" in relationships within the family

Family conflicts and their causes are always closely related. We are ready to provide, although not a complete, but a detailed list of those shortcomings in family relations that can significantly affect both the quality of relationships and the further psychological well-being of the family. Here are some examples:

Inability to express your feelings. In families with an unhealthy psychological climate, its members, as a rule, hide their feelings and reject their manifestations by other people. They do this mainly in order to avoid mental pain and psychological trauma.
Lack of communication. In dysfunctional families, open communication between relatives is very rare. If family conflicts arise, family members begin to avoid each other, emotionally moving away and withdrawing into themselves.
Manifestations of anger. If any problems arise, an unhealthy family tries to hide them, instead of meeting face to face and trying to solve them. In such a family, disputes are often held about who is responsible for the occurrence of a particular problem, and such disputes most often lead to outbreaks of anger and even to the use of force. Such relationships cause complete chaos and force the parties to the conflict to become deaf to other people's feelings. Prevention and resolution of family conflicts at this stage of the relationship becomes very difficult.
The fuzzy boundaries of "personal territory". In dysfunctional families, relationships are unstable, chaotic. Some family members repress the rest without respecting their individuality. Such a violation of personal boundaries can lead not only to conflict, but also to actions that can be summed up as “domestic violence”.
Manipulation. Manipulators express their anger and disappointment with the only method available to them: they try to put pressure on others to arouse their guilt and shame. In this way they try to get others to do what the manipulators themselves want.
Negative attitude to life and to each other. In some families, everyone treats the others with some suspicion and distrust. They don’t know what optimism is, and they usually have absolutely no sense of humor. Relatives have very few common interests and rarely find a common topic of conversation.
Frozen relationship. It also happens that family members understand that something is going wrong, but they do not have the courage to try to change something and begin to act in a new way. This creates great difficulties in relationships; households cannot feel free to develop as individuals. They prefer to live in the past, because in the present they cannot cope with negative changes.
Social isolation. For the most part, members of a psychologically unhealthy family are single. They are isolated from each other, and all their relationships develop (if they have not yet lost the ability to develop interpersonal relationships) outside the family. Most often, this isolation affects children growing up in a family with unhealthy relationships. Sometimes they become characterized by antisocial behavior, which ultimately leads to even greater personal isolation - in this situation there are no friends left.
Stress and psychosomatic illnesses. Unspoken emotions can adversely affect health and cause psychosomatic illnesses. Such a person gradually loses energy and can no longer take care of the family, as before. As a rule, he does not even realize that he is unwell; it is not surprising that his relatives do not understand this. They perceive his apathy as indifference to family problems, and this serves as an impetus to the emergence of conflicts. But the real definition of these conflicts is a simple misunderstanding!

If you find in your relationship at least one of these signs of imminent ill-being, then you don’t need to panic; but to make serious conclusions and try to fix the relationship is very worth it! The prevention and resolution of family conflicts largely depends on your desire to find a common language with loved ones.

Although, in fairness, it must be said that one desire is still not enough. You also need to know how exactly you can resolve the conflict and establish healthy relationships. That's what we’ll talk about now, given the different types of conflicts.

How can relations develop?

As we have already said, family conflicts between generations are possible when there is a lack of understanding between different age groups and / or lack of respect, as a rule, among younger people in relation to older ones. It can be difficult for the younger generation to understand that the elders were also so young that they contributed to society and that, although they became less active due to their age, they are still smart and have rich experience that may be useful to others.

The older generation may find it difficult to put up with the behavior of some young people. They see that young people now have more opportunities than they had at one time, and that the younger generation does not have the difficulties that they once suffered. Older people cannot understand that young people today are faced with various problems associated with the characteristics of modern society, and cannot recognize that these problems in their own way are also very difficult.

But there are examples of generational conflicts that occur on a different basis. Some may be annoyed by the need to take care of a sick elderly relative. They can love this person very much, but you have to constantly make some sacrifices in your life to carry out this care. In addition, the older relative himself may feel guilty and will consider himself a burden to his family. This can lead to depression and serve as an additional source of complications in relationships.

Aging often brings discrimination or prejudice against people of a certain age, and this is the main cause of intergenerational conflicts.

Grandparents

And here is another example: for young parents, children grow up, create their own families, grandchildren are born. The birth of the first grandchildren usually takes many middle-aged people by surprise. They are not yet ready for a new role, because they live their full, active lives, and are still full of ambition. And daughters or sons, having created families and having given birth to a child, suddenly realize that they were completely shackled hand and foot. They still need to learn, they need to work, and youth takes its toll - I want to continue to chat with friends, go to the movies, run to dances, go on an excursion ...

And conflicts begin. Young people do not understand that all responsibility for raising a child lies only with them, it is difficult for them to be locked up in four walls. They don’t understand that grandparents are also full of energy, they have some kind of plans of their own, and almost all “ancestors” still work at this age.

Another example is the exact opposite of the first. Grandmother reaches for her grandchildren, but her daughter-in-law does not allow her to mess with them. All the advice of the mother-in-law is rejected, because the daughter-in-law does not agree with them. And this applies not only to children. Habits and rules in different families may differ even in small things, not to mention more important issues. But conflicts often begin with trifles ... Here's another example: the mother-in-law always served her son a bun, buttered with butter, for breakfast. And the young daughter-in-law, most likely, advocates for a healthy diet, and so she transferred her husband to yogurt. The mother-in-law will worry that the son remains hungry, and the daughter-in-law will be nervous that the mother-in-law spoils her husband's health. Dissatisfaction will accumulate, and one day it will develop into conflict.

How to solve these problems?

Coexistence of generations does not have any fixed rules, but a solution to the problem can still be found.

The most important thing on which the prevention and resolution of family conflicts between people of different ages is based is the ability and desire to find out different points of view, experiencing the situation taking into account the interests of both parties.

How can we better understand each other if we are so different? How can we make others more sensitive to the situation? And how can you help people expand their ideas about youth and old age?

It all depends on the specific situation and on the specific family. Here are the main “tools” with which you can fix a difficult situation:

Problem identification;
Clarification of the reasons for the position taken and the manifestation of empathy (empathy);
Taking measures to eliminate the conflict;
Changing attitudes towards such a situation: understanding the position of the opposing side eliminates possible conflicts in the future. Understanding is the best conflict prevention.

Children and conflict

The given examples, of course, do not exhaust all possible variants of conflicts between generations. Young children also often become a source of conflict. Only the transitional age - even in quite prosperous families - how many problems it brings! True, the prevention of conflicts between parents and adolescents will not be considered by us now, this is a separate issue. But here we cannot say that any parental quarrel has a strong adverse effect on the child.

Even if the child is very small and still does not understand anything from what adults say, he begins to cry almost immediately after the parents start to quarrel.

Children perceive the increased tone of parental conversation as a threat to their well-being.

Those older children are also very sensitive to parental conflicts. And if the children themselves become the culprits of the conflict? If they are guilty, and have to blame and punish themselves already?

Of course, life is life, a conflict can arise at any moment, and it is not always possible to protect our children from the negative effects of stress. And here the prevention of nervous diseases in children comes first. How, you ask? We must learn to compete competently. And children need to be scolded too competently.

This means that parents should not resort to humiliation and ridicule, in no case should they use profanity or allow physical violence, even if it is only a slap in the face or a slap in the face. This also means that rational arguments should be used during a conflict. Parents should never forget that every minute they learn from them the behavior and communication with other people, so even at the moment of the greatest anger, you should not give them a bad example.

In addition, after a quarrel with his offspring, it is necessary to find an opportunity for reconciliation with him, and you must express your love for the child. Your child should feel that everything is already fine, the crisis has passed, and it is still dear to you.

Family Conflict Resolution

Prevention, prevention and resolution of family conflicts depends on your attitude to them. First of all, learn to act correctly during a quarrel:

Identify the problem. Talk clearly and calmly with family members, paying attention to your tone and the words you choose to express your feelings;
Discuss the identified problem;
If the discussion is heating up and begins to develop into a quarrel, take a break so that everyone can cool down and return to a calm discussion;
Come up with a solution to the problem and collectively agree on it;
Put your decision into practice. You must act in accordance with the decision in order for the conflict to be truly settled.

Today, for some reason, family is not a priority. For many, business, success and money have become the number one goal. But we must pay attention to the most important thing in our life - our family and friends. Anything else can wait. Only then will a family conflict become a very rare “guest” in your home.

Civil relations. Subjects of civil law

Purpose: to consider the concept of "civil relations", subjects of civil law

1. background

2. civil law concept

3 . property relations

5. civil law principles

6. objects of civil law

7. subjects of civil law

8. property rights

9. intellectual property law

10. consolidation number 1

11. homework number 1

12. practical work

Background

the formation of this branch of law has deep historical roots
Many centuries ago, in Rome, civil law corresponded to private law, which protected the interests of individuals
It was then that such civil law institutions as the right of ownership, inheritance, contracts were developed, the order of relations of buyers and sellers, creditors and debtors, etc. was determined.

Civil law

Branch of law regulating property and personal non-property relations

it private right, those. subjects are given the right to independently choose a model of behavior

source of law :

Civil Code of the Russian Federation, Constitution, Federal Law, Business Customs, International Covenants

property relations

relations arising regarding property - material goods having the economic form of the goods (things, work, services, etc.)

They are called proprietary relations,

obligatory relations when performing work and providing services

personal non-property relations

arise in the field of creating and using the results of intellectual creativity (works of science, literature and art, inventions, industrial designs, etc.), as well as means of individualization of goods and their manufacturers (brands, trademarks)

Principles

civilian

legal relations

Equality

the parties

Property

independence

Independence,

autonomy

the will

Civil Relations

Set by the will of the parties

Types of civil objects

is right

Intangible goods

(life, health, dignity, honor,

Intellectual results

of property

Things, incl. money and c / b

Property rights

(property rights)

Work and Services

information

subjects

civil

rights

individuals

legal

RF, subjects

municipal

education

(citizens,

foreigners, persons without

citizenship)

allowing people

satisfy your needs using certain things properties

Having a computer, you can type text and get paid for this work

In a commitment, one person commits acts in favor of another

This may be related to the provision of wealth.

The owner can rent a room

personal non-property relations

Personal non-property related to property (copyright)

Personal non-property, not related to property. This is due to the health, honor, dignity of a person, the right to a name

Thing-

a special object of nature or a product of labor that has certain physical, chemical, biological and other properties

Negotiable - can freely be in circulation, alienate

Non-negotiable -

For their circulation special permissions are required

Immovable -

land, subsoil plots, water bodies, forests, buildings, structures, aircraft and ships, space objects, i.e. moving these things without harming them is impossible

Movable

money, securities (bill, check, bond, share)

Information-

information about persons, facts, events, phenomena and processes, regardless of the form of their presentation

the Internet

radio

a commercial

secret

Place of residence

using someone else's name to commit transactions is an offense

A place where a citizen resides permanently or predominantly

Signing any legally relevant document is necessary fully indicate your name (FULL NAME)

A citizen has the right change own name

An individual as a subject of law

Civil capacity -

dealability the ability to independently make transactions;
tortivity - the opportunity to bear independent property responsibility;
opportunity to do business

Civil legal capacity -

Own property, engage in entrepreneurship, create a legal entity, make transactions not prohibited by law, choose a place of residence, create works of art, science, etc.

legal capacity

up to 6 years old - fully

deprived

minors from 6 to 14 years old can commit

small household deals
transactions aimed at gratuitous benefits
legal transactions provided by legal representatives

Minors from 14 to 18 years old

independently manage earnings, scholarships
exercise copyright and inventive rights
make contributions and manage them
from the age of 16 join a cooperative
make transactions for minors
Emancipation - early full legal capacity

legal capacity

The court may restrict or deprive a minor of the right independently manage your earnings, scholarship

cause

Entity

Has a name
It has an organizational structure and is created in the form of legal organizational form
Has governing bodies
It is characterized by the presence of a certain separate property
Independently responds with his property
The participants of a legal entity are not responsible for its obligations, and the legal entity is not responsible for the obligations of its participants
May be a plaintiff and defendant in court

Entity

Has constituent documents

Subject to state registration

Name, location, subject and purpose of activity, composition of governing bodies, etc.

Entity

Branch, representative office -

are not legal entities

Reorganized by merger, accession, separation, separation, transformation

forms

legal

commercial

nonprofit

commercial

full partnership

faith partnership

additional liability company

production cooperative

unitary enterprise

nonprofit

public organization

non-profit partnership

autonomous non-profit organization

institution

association

union

fund

Ownership and its types

the institution of private property arose in Rome - as the dominance of people over a thing

In Russia, the term appeared in XVIII century, under Catherine II , and in 1832 In the Code of Laws of the Russian Empire

Property rights - this is …

use -

The ability to extract useful properties from a thing

Possession

Possession of a thing. It’s not necessary to be near her

Order - the ability to determine the legal fate of a thing (sell, give, bequeath)

But the law limits the owner (for example, it is impossible to create an industrial enterprise in an apartment)

restriction of ownership

It was introduced by the laws of XII tables in Rome

They were called legal easements

(the owner of the plot is obliged to admit to his plot every other day a neighbor to collect fruits falling from trees growing on the plot of the neighbor)

In Russia, the law recognizes and protects

state property

(national wealth of the country, treasury, gold reserve, monetary fund, military equipment, etc.)

private property

(quantity is not limited)

municipal property

Initial

man created a thing and became its owner

from drew berries, caught fish
found a thing- stated that if after 6 months the owner does not appear, acquires ownership
found a treasure - if excavation was carried out

without the consent of the owner, the treasure belongs to him
with the consent of the owner, it is divided equally
if the thing has cultural, historical value, then it is transferred to the state (50% remuneration)

By prescription, in good faith, without hiding (real estate-15 years, movable-5 years without a break)

Grounds for the emergence of ownership

Derivatives

nationalization or privatization

Sale
Withdrawal by decision of state authorities - requisition paid
Sanction for offense - confiscation free

Intellectual Property Law (institutes)

patent law

Regulates relations arising in connection with the creation and use of inventions, utility models and industrial designs

the right of means of individualization of participants in civil turnover

Regulates relations associated with the creation and use of trade names, trademarks

the right to protect non-traditional intellectual property

Regulates relations associated with the creation and use of selection achievements, microcircuits, information constituting an official and commercial secret

personal non-property rights

copyright
the right to use the work under the original name of the author, pseudonym or anonymously
the right to publish the work in any form
right to defense of a work

historical novel

Citation in scientific, research and other works
In educational radio and television broadcasts
Reproduction in newspapers, unless specifically prohibited by the author
Public performance of musical works during official and religious ceremonies

consolidation number 1

Think, for what purpose the legislator limits the turnover of certain things?
Which of the following are regulated by civil law?

Catherine did not pay for public transport and was forced to pay a fine to the controller
Eugene gave his car to his sister
Nikolai deposited things with Peter
Irina filed a lawsuit in court, demanding to protect her honor and dignity
Peter draws up a will at a notary
Igor stole a car from the owner of Petrov

homework number 1

Resolve a family dispute. For her grandmother's birthday, she gave a 13-year-old grandson 5000 rubles. He decided to buy tape recorder parts with this money. However, the parents considered that the money should be spent on buying clothes for their son, and explained to him that he himself could not dispose of the gift.
Victor, got into a car accident and lost both hands. Victor’s friends say that now he will not be able to dispose of his property, because the law limits his legal capacity for health reasons. Are they right?

Lesson Glossary

civil legal capacity is the ability to have civil rights and responsibilities

alienate - the ability of the subject to determine the legal fate of a thing: sell, give, bequeath it, etc.

business customs prevailing in practice and applied in any field of entrepreneurial activity rules of human behavior, movement of goods, information, provision of services that are not prescribed in the legislation

Glossary lesson

property rights- set of legal norms establishing how to own, use and dispose of property, as well as providing for the protection of these powers

easement –From lat. obligation, obligation, service, the right to use other people's property within certain limits (the landowner has the right to demand the right of easement from a neighbor, an easement is established by agreement of the parties when it is necessary to ensure passage through a neighboring section, lay electric power lines, pipelines, and provide water supply. At the same time, it is allowed to demand a proportional fee for using the site)

And they appear during the conclusion / dissolution of a marriage, blood relationship, adoption, motherhood, etc. People marry based on feelings for each other and mutual desire to be together, but not everyone can carry this feeling through years of life together, which leads to family disputes and disagreements. Family disagreements are the same disputes arising from family relationships. The most common cases that occur in our society are divorce, division of property, and a dispute regarding parenting. For lack of a prenuptial agreement (due to its non-proliferation) governing which of the spouses will get property and children in case of divorce, people are forced to go to court, which considers claims in disputes arising from family relationships.

Family Relationship Features

A special subjective composition. In addition to blood relatives, no one is involved in them, all actions within the family are directed only to its members.

Mostly personal. The basic law of the family is the Family Code of the Russian Federation, which spells out the rights and obligations in relation to each other and the spouses when concluding / divorcing.

Family relationships are inalienable and irreversible. A person has the right to renounce his family, not to communicate with relatives, but he will forever remain part of his family by blood.

Relationships arise from specific marriage, consanguinity, motherhood, adoption, etc.

Family relationships are governed by family law and are conditionally divided into two components.

Personal

These include the choice of surname during registration / divorce, the choice of joint residence, the choice of profession by each of the spouses. Personal family relationships can be fixed by a marriage contract, which must be notarized. Violation of his points by any of the spouses is a reason for divorce.

Property

Here we are talking about property that the spouses jointly acquired while married. The clause on its division is admissible in the marriage contract (to facilitate the divorce procedure), but in any case the property between the spouses will be legally divided in a judicial proceeding.

In the absence of any of these components, the onset of family relations is impossible. Marriage involves cohabitation, life, a common budget and purchases. Otherwise, the court has the right to declare the marriage fictitious and terminate it.

Judicial review

Conventionally, family disputes are divided into three groups, each of which has its own subspecies. The first and most common group: disputes arising from spouses' marriage.

Divorce. Solutions

First: at the mutual desire of the spouses, in the absence of a dispute regarding property and common minor children, the spouses apply to the registry office with the necessary package of documents.

Second: through a magistrate’s court, if there is a minor child whose parents decided on their upbringing among themselves.

Third: in the event of a lack of agreement regarding the common child, the spouses apply to the court of general jurisdiction, which decides with whom the child will live and what role the second parent will play in relation to him.

The court decision comes into force 10 days later, during which one of the former spouses can challenge him. If this does not happen, then the marriage is dissolved (a corresponding certificate is issued), and the marriage relationship ends.

Section of jointly acquired property

A marriage contract that would regulate this issue is not widespread in our country, therefore family law disputes regarding the division of property are resolved in accordance with the Civil and Family Codes of the Russian Federation. Cases are considered by a justice of the peace (regardless of the amount of the lawsuit). The amount of the state duty that spouses must pay to consider their case depends on the amount of the claim. The resolution of family disputes regarding property can result in a lengthy process of several months, therefore, when submitting documents, the spouses need to argue why the property should be divided between them that way.

Annulment of marriage

Marriage is invalid if:

The marriage is concluded under pressure or with coercion on the part of one of the spouses, with evidence that one spouse is not able to report on their actions and decisions.

The marriage is fictitious.

Marriage violates the terms of the law on marriageable age (marriageable age is more than 18 years old or marriage from 16 years old with the written consent of the parents, in case of pregnancy, emancipation).

In case of non-dissolution by one of the spouses of the previous marriage.

Close consanguinity of spouses.

Marriage between the adopted and the parent / guardian.

Disability of one (or both) spouse (for example, due to mental illness).

At the time of marriage, one of the spouses was HIV-infected or had a sexually transmitted disease, which was not told to the second spouse.

The second group, which is part of family litigation, is formed from a parent-child relationship.

Collection of alimony

The most common dispute in this group is the recovery of alimony. Alimony is charged from parents for the maintenance of a minor child and from an adult able-bodied child for the maintenance of disabled parents. The amount of alimony is established by the court by allocating part of the payer's income to pay them. This type of trial does not have, but you can recover child support for the past period in no more than three years.

Deprivation of parental rights

The most difficult litigation (regarding evidence and emotional background) is the deprivation of parental rights. The grounds for the Family Code of the Russian Federation, according to which the parent may lose the rights to the child:

The parent does not fulfill his duties regarding his child, provided for by the Constitution of the Russian Federation and the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

Methodical non-payment of alimony.

Cruel education and treatment of children.

Chronic alcoholism

Leaving a child in danger (including leaving him in a maternity hospital or any child care facility).

Intentional crime against a spouse or child (threat to life and health).

Recovery of parental rights

The reverse and no less complicated procedure is restoration of parental rights. The parent, once deprived of the rights to the child, has corrected and changed his life for the better, now he is free to file a lawsuit to return his parental rights to the baby. The application is considered by the court, guardianship authorities and the prosecutor. It is impossible to recover when the child is adopted, but the adoptive parents did not refuse him.

Establishment of paternity

Paternity is established in a judicial proceeding. The lawsuit is filed by any of the parents of the child, his guardian or trustee. If the child is an adult, then this procedure is possible only with his consent.

When the spouse doubts his paternity (or knows for sure that the child is not his), he files a lawsuit to challenge paternity in order to avoid paying child support in case of a divorce.

Another situation is a broken “civil marriage” when the child’s parents are not painted. The mother must provide the court with evidence of paternity, the results of a genetic examination in order to oblige the man to pay child support.

Parental Restriction

If parents pose a danger to their child (for example, have a serious chronic illness, are mentally unbalanced, etc.), the guardianship authorities are required to file a lawsuit in which a decision will be made on restricting parental rights or removing the child from the parents. If the situation remains unchanged, six months later, the guardianship authorities file a lawsuit about the complete deprivation of parental rights.

In the category of “family disputes”, the phenomenon is common when, after divorcing and leaving the child with one of the parents, the former spouses cannot agree on what part the parent who does not live with him will take part in raising the child. In this case, the case is considered by the court and makes a decision, which indicates how and in what order the second parent communicates with the child.

Adoption

The following court case excludes the form of “family law disputes”, because it is not a pure dispute. Issues of adoption are decided by the court in the order to which the adoptive parents attach a package of documents. On the basis of them, the court makes a decision on refusal or satisfaction in adoption.

Cases of permission / prohibition of communication with a child of his grandparents.

Cases of collecting alimony from grandparents, grandchildren, brothers / sisters, etc.

These court proceedings are not particularly popular and, as a rule, are successful, therefore they are rare in judicial practice.

All family which are described above require the intervention and supervision of professionals. Therefore, when applying to the court, first of all, find a qualified lawyer who will help to correctly execute and submit all documents.

Family disputes are not the only way out

Of course, ideally, it is best to resolve conflicts that arise in the family peacefully, without breaking the full-fledged cell of society. Divorce on the basis of family disputes rarely goes smoothly, because both spouses have claims to each other about children and property, which greatly complicates the process. It makes it difficult not only in legal terms, but also emotionally: common children and their spouses suffer and get nervous.

Even in the event of a divorce, division of property, etc., try to be more tolerant, however unpleasant and unwanted this process is. Then, perhaps, family disputes will still be forgotten, and the family will survive. If reconciliation is categorically impossible, be calm, do not be nervous because of the lost time. Is divorce a way to a new, better life?

Agree that you can’t do without disputes in family life. It is impossible to have the same opinion on all issues. The emergence of disputes in the family is quite natural, since their participants are ordinary people, with their own characteristics, attitudes and stereotypes. The main thing is that the argument does not outgrow. It differs from the dispute in the presence of uncontrolled emotions that prevent one from accepting any arguments and reaching a mutual decision.

In some families, spouses argue violently and often, and in others, disagreements are resolved more calmly. Why? It's all about the perception and behavior of the "warring" parties. And it’s quite realistic to learn how to convey your point of view to a partner with the least loss for a relationship.

Why do we swear?

Maxim and I got married a few years ago. Everything went well, even the romance in the relationship remained. However, “thunder struck”, where they did not wait. Soon after I informed my husband about the pregnancy, our marriage seemed to crack. I do not understand, . This pregnancy was very welcome, and, it seems, now should be the happiest time for both of us! But disputes in the family, turning into scandals, arise almost every day. Here is an example. I do not want to take used things. This is our first child! Why should he carry someone over, ride in strangers? And Maxim thinks otherwise. From his nephew (he is now 2 years old) a lot of all clothes can go, as he believes, in good condition. We can’t decide how to spend the vacation in my position, or we’ll quarrel on the topic “where to give birth”. It seems to me that Maxim does not understand at all how I feel, and he says that I am not trying to take into account his opinion.

Katya, 26 years old

Pregnancy really often becomes for a couple not only a joyful event, but also a certain test. Indeed, during this period the spouses' lifestyle changes, they again undergo adaptation to changes in relations, form new views on the future. The reasons for the occurrence of disagreements can be divided into several groups:

Pregnancy perception. Pregnancy itself, its course, everything “possible and impossible” relating to this period are often perceived differently by partners. For example, a husband may consider that pregnancy is a woman’s natural state, therefore, she does not need a special treatment, and a wife, on the contrary, perceives the expectation of a child as a miracle, therefore she is convinced that dust should be blown away from her. Or, the expectant mother, overwhelmed by the consciousness of her own exceptionalism, insists that she be freed from all household duties or, say, that her pregnancy is conducted in a commercial perinatal center. And the husband, on the contrary, believes that in the antenatal clinic the doctors are no less experienced and there is no sense in such expenses.

Domestic issues related to the birth of a child.This is the need to buy certain things, and the attitude to used things, and the issue of repair - to do before the birth of a baby or not, etc. It often happens that both spouses consider their point of view to be the only true one and insist on it, bringing the dispute to conflict.

Moral and ethical differences. For some couples, the very topic of pregnancy and childbirth becomes a stumbling block: a decision on how to give birth - with the husband or not, to whom and when to inform about the upcoming replenishment, to show the baby immediately after birth, or should a certain time pass? Often disputes between spouses are caused by a disagreement of opinions about their behavior and in the role of father and mother, as well as approaches to raising a baby, seemingly still quite distant for a “pregnant” couple, but sometimes causing no less heated debate than current issues.

Pregnancy Discount

It happens that the nature of the future mother does not change for the better. Pregnancy and related changes in the body and psyche of a woman often make her overly irritable, suspicious, tearful and anxious. The mood of the future mother sometimes changes with great amplitude and speed. She can become thoughtful and self-absorbed or, conversely, overly active. What used to be familiar and beloved, now can annoy and bring to tears.

Such “leaps” in the future mother’s mood often interfere with building a constructive dialogue with her. It is especially difficult for those couples in which the woman was previously very calm and reasonable, and with the onset of pregnancy she became noticeably more capricious and emotional. In this case, the couple needs more time and effort to realize the changes and adapt to them.

However, such nuances of the psychological state of a pregnant woman do not mean that family quarrels are inevitable. It is simple for both the husband and the expectant mother to learn to take into account new circumstances. A spouse should sometimes not notice the “uneven” behavior of the wife, and she needs to be more critical of herself and her desires, distinguishing true needs and beliefs from the influence of hormones and emotions.

The main mistakes that cause conflicts in the family

Unfortunately, the emergence of disputes in the family often ends with a stormy clarification of the relationship and mutual dissatisfaction with each other, and all because spouses make the same mistakes from time to time:

Search for the guilty.Usually in a dispute, succumbing to our emotions, we forget that the conflict arises only with the participation of both parties. And with our stream of accusations against our partner, we only “warm up” the situation, sometimes without noticing it ourselves.

Excessive protection of one’s own interests. Such a defensive position is manifested in the unwillingness to give in, to acknowledge in yourself some negative character traits (temper, uncompromisingness, exactingness, etc.), the desire to put our interests above others and to prove our case at any cost. Naturally, in such conditions it is difficult to talk about the peaceful resolution of the controversial situation.

Inability to express your thoughts and feelings.There are many variations of this problem - from the habit of hushing up and not speaking a difficult situation to becoming personal during a dispute and even insults. The partners do not develop the habit of discussing their experiences, including negative ones, but emotions still make themselves felt, only in the form of resentment, nit-picking, criticism and discontent.

What can be done so that disputes in the family do not turn into scandals?

At first, you must accept responsibility for your behavior and realize that you yourself are a source of conflict. Try to look at yourself from the side (sometimes for this purpose it would be good to approach the mirror during an active dispute or listen to his voice recorder) and evaluate your behavior and the adequacy of the reactions.

Secondly,having analyzed your character traits and habits, you need to prioritize. What is more important for you: healthy and strong relationships in the family or keeping your manner of reaction unchanged? The ability to be flexible, to concede, to respect the point of view of another is a sign of wisdom and maturity of a person, and the desire to seek a compromise is the best proof of love.

Well, and thirdly, in order to get a “good” result of the dispute, you need to learn how to conduct it in a constructive way.

Constructive dispute technology

Choose the right time. Try to find a moment for conversation when you are not tired, not annoyed, not immersed in your own problems and do not rush anywhere. This will be the key to a future joint solution, not conflict.
Clearly outline the topic of conversation. It is important to focus on the subject that you intend to discuss (for example, “buy new things for your baby or take second-hand”), and understand what exactly is the disagreement, i.e. to recognize each other’s position.
Set a goal. You also need to identify the result that you both want to come to: “Let's discuss this issue today and finally make a decision so that no more disputes arise on this subject.” This designation of the "final point" will help rationalize the dispute.
Try to avoid common phrases and “You-utterances” (“You are always ...”, “You are nothing ...”, etc.). First of all, trying to convey your thoughts to your partner, refrain from insults and hysterical notes in your voice. Describe specific facts through self-messages. For example: “I notice that you are not at all interested in children's things, you don’t look at anything in the shops, and when I start showing you something, I pretend that I'm busy.”
Indicate the possible consequences of an undesirable behavior (situation) for you. Without breaking into accusations, in an accessible form describe what the result of what you have listed may lead to. “As a result, we often quarrel, but have not prepared anything for the birth of the baby, and it may turn out that this situation will continue after the birth, and the baby does not need to clarify the relationship.”
Describe in detail your feelings.You can use figurative expressions in order to clearly describe your spouse your condition. "I am offended by such behavior, I feel lonely and miserable, it seems to me that we are moving away from each other, and I am afraid that you are no longer waiting for the appearance of our baby."
Give arguments. Express your opinion, accompanying it not so much with the words “I want”, but with real justifications. Why is it important for you to buy new things? What bothers you about used ones? For example: “I have a rejection of used things, because it is not known how they were used. We have enough money to afford to buy everything new, because we don’t dress in second hand, although there are also a lot of things in good condition. In addition, the new one will last longer and will be exactly suitable, and we will be able to choose quality things ourselves. ”
Share your wishes.Tell us what exactly you expect from your husband, because often the spouse and those around you sincerely do not understand your desires, because you do not voice them. For example: “I really want you to understand and support me, so that we find a compromise and together and with pleasure prepare for the birth of the baby.”
Praise.Any phrase that switches the conversation from your desires and feelings to your partner and your attitude towards him will help to direct the debate in a positive direction and prevent a family quarrel: “After all, no one can understand me better than you, and yours are very dear to me attention and care. ”
Sorry if you are to blame.If you yourself were wrong in some way or fell into insults, do not hesitate to admit your guilt. Anyone has the right to make a mistake, but not everyone has the courage to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
Listen carefully to your partner.Try to understand what feelings a husband experiences, than he is dissatisfied. Try to ponder and analyze his arguments. Perhaps, slightly moving away from your desires, you will agree that there is common sense in the spouse’s words, and he acts not against you, but for the good of the family.
Find a compromise.Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down all the arguments you heard on the topic in two columns, for example: “for new things” (they will meet our requirements, are aesthetic and hygienic, will last longer, etc.) and “for used things” (the child grows up quickly and does not have time to wear out, saving money for other purposes, etc.). Then discuss each argument in terms of its objectivity and reality. For example, if you agree and take a used stroller from relatives or acquaintances, there really is a chance to run into quick breakdowns and inconveniences, especially if you have objective requirements for this thing (weight, size, folding system, etc.), but baby clothes for newborns usually remain in good condition, as the kids wear it too little. Determine which is a priority for both of you. For example, if it turns out that it is not important for the spouse what children's things will be, but he considers the price of new goods to be unreasonably high. Based on this, it is worth determining what price limits will be acceptable to him. You may be able to find suitable shopping options.
Summarize the conversation.It is very important to note what result both of you came to in the course of the conversation, so that next time you don’t start to re-establish relations on the same issue. Clash of opinions between spouses is a natural phenomenon that should not overshadow family life, especially during pregnancy and the birth of a baby. Therefore, it is important to learn in time to resolve disputes arising peacefully and productively.
More humor!To irritation subsided and there was a desire to unite, you can use a creative approach. Try to make your partner smile, even if you are not laughing. Suppose you can express your emotions with facial expressions and gestures, making a funny grimace, or recall a joke to the place.
Letter of happiness.Sometimes it’s difficult to put your indignation into words, so the epistolary genre will become a lifesaver. Everyone can write a letter - paper or electronic. Briefly, in the case and without gross accusations. Better to complete the message is somehow optimistic or to put a smiley face.

With the help of the lawyers of the Regional Legal Security Center, the client can resolve any family disputes that arose in his disagreement with his relatives. Family disputes are complex services most often associated with a large amount of emotion among the participants in the conflict, since all these disputes go to the personalities of its participants.

Our clients who have already encountered these problems will prove that the solution to family disputes is best entrusted to an outside person. Of course, it will be right to trust a professional and experienced lawyer who will carry out all the procedures necessary to resolve a family dispute.

No matter what these or other disputes are, they can be divided into several varieties:

Family disputes between spouses who are at the stage of a marriage dispute;

Disputes in the family between children and parents;

Other family disputes between relatives.

When analyzing family disputes from their practice, the lawyers of the Regional Legal Security Center divide them into several parts, the first group includes:

Division of spouses' property upon divorce;

Decision on the invalidity of a particular marriage;

The second group of family disputes related to the participation of children:

Payment of alimony;

Deprivation of parental rights;

Establishing paternity;

Restoration of the rights to the child;

Establishing a procedure for communicating with a child;

Adoption of children.

The third, group includes rarer family disputes, but still taking place in the field of law and family relations:

Establishing the boundaries of communication between grandparents and their grandchildren and granddaughters;

Payment of alimony from minor family members, namely grandparents, brothers and sisters, stepsons and stepdaughters, etc.

The resolution of family disputes is divided by the nature of the dispute and the size of the contentious issue. In such cases, where the size of the family dispute does not exceed 50,000 rubles. Peace courts also decide on the purpose of the payment of alimony. The remaining issues are considered by the district (city) courts.

Consider one of the family disputes - the divorce of spouses.

Divorce by a spouse is possible, both in pre-trial order and in court. If the spouses do not have children under the age of 18 years and there is no dispute between the spouses on the division of property, then a divorce can be filed at the registry office by filling out an application form. Provided that the spouses have minor children, then divorce is possible only in court. When a spouse does not have a dispute during a divorce and the procedure for communicating with children and close relatives do not have additional requirements for communicating with a child or children, the court considers such disputes fairly quickly. In a divorce, in which there is a dispute over communication with children or the division of property and when there is no agreement between the spouses, then the lawyers of the Regional Legal Security Center advise you to contact a specialist.

Our lawyers will help their clients in the following areas:

To prepare correctly the objection to the statement of claim for divorce, the division of property;
To build judicial protection with the preparation of evidence of certain circumstances.

Although the Family Code of the Russian Federation fully regulates family disputes, we do not recommend delaying the appeal to a professional lawyer. Modern relationships between spouses are increasingly additionally regulated by marriage contracts, which complicates the solution of the issue in a quick way.

When you are divorced in a court of law, your position is important, because the judge will not deal with your problems if you yourself do not care, and even more so if you do not have a representative. Lawyers of the Regional Legal Security Center nevertheless advise drawing up prenuptial contracts because this is the calmness of future spouses and the emergence of controversial situations during a divorce. So in life it happens that spouses change their views, priorities, new hobbies, and also a lot of things change when children are born.

When registering a divorce in court and the appointment of alimony, it should be remembered that alimony can be either a percentage of the income of the alimony from 25% to 70%, depending on the number of children, or a fixed amount. For example, if the party entrusted with alimony does not work officially.

It is not uncommon to draw up an adoption procedure, including the preparation of many documents and the most appropriate option to contact a lawyer.

The lawyer of the Regional Legal Security Center will carry out the following work:

check the list of submitted documents;

will search for the child, check his own determination of adoption.

Prepares them for transfer to guardianship authorities;

Will prepare a statement to the court;

He will take the decision from the court and submit it to the registry office;

will receive a certificate of adoption;

will collect other necessary documents.