I regularly get questions that guys usually address to the universe, but since the feedback with him often flounders, Vintovkina will also fit: “Why does no one love me?” And any variations on the topic (“Why do everyone have girls, but I don’t have ? ”,“ Why don't they pay attention to me? ”,“ Why can't I start a relationship with anyone? ”, Etc.) And every time it’s hard, damn hard for me to find the right words to, on the one hand, cheer up the questioner (because sometimes you really just have to wait). And on the other - to make him look at the objective reasons / habits / characteristics that prevent him from establishing an inter-gender dialogue.
In order to save myself, and at the same time them, from torment, I decided to collect in one post the most common answers:
1. Because you are too soft
I don’t think that being sensitive, shy, tactful, prudent and obedient is bad. But that's exactly what young virgins usually think. And the younger the girl, the usually more importance she attaches to the textbook attributes of masculinity (determination, bordering on cheekiness, command intonations in the voice, steel look, strong-willed chin and further down the list). To look - and immediately understand: in front of you is not just a male being, but a male, and obviously a dominant one. And qualities located on the opposite pole are often interpreted *, on the contrary, as a sign of weakness and self-doubt. And such quivering, not quite (or not at all) male cavaliers usually turn out to be suitable as girlfriends with whom you can go to the movies and watch, but to look at them without panties, thank you, somehow I don’t want to.
* Of course, this approach from the point of view of humanism (and an adult woman like me) is cruel, superficial, even stupid. But young girls are often just such - superficial, stereotypically minded and, frankly, heartless creatures.
2. Because you are closed
There is no greater torture than a meeting with a guy who can’t connect the two words, squinting and sneering at you, as if you made a scarecrow from his favorite dachshund, and answers any question as if his every “Ummm ...” would certainly used against him. Firstly, because a girl usually tunes in to what it is her will entertain and captivate. And when in the end she herself is forced to pull on herself the whole conversation and act as an animator, this, frankly, is a bummer. Secondly, the society of the silent and is always a great test for female self-esteem. Perhaps she understands the head that the problem is not in her, but in you (and the fact that, hanging for days / weeks / months in some social network, you are corny weaned off - or maybe you never knew how - to communicate in real life). But somewhere deep inside, anyway, a worm of doubt turns around: what if you're really charming and eloquent, but you behave like that with her because you simply don't like her enough? And women, whatever one may say, prefer the society of the one who is crazy about them. And does not hide it.
3. Because you are rude
Including and especially in relation to girls. You are rude to them, go ahead, tease and just try to humiliate them whenever possible. Testicles would be good for someone who convinced you that women love being mixed with mud. Take my word for it: they don’t like it. Maybe at first it seems charmingly eccentric and even exciting to some of my gender sisters. But then, without fail, the realization comes that you behave this way not from excess power, but, on the contrary, from powerlessness.
4. Because you criticize
The ability to find out a spoonful of something that smells bad and inedible in everything (“Cute? So, surely a fool or a slut,” “Wages increased by 10%? Well, but prices rose by 20”, etc.), in principle, useful for life skill. It is well known that the less you wait, the less disappointed you are at the end. But this skill is good only for its owner. Everyone else (and girls in particular) in the society of such negatives will sooner or later become uncomfortable. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to give a chance to a guy who clearly has "vision" problems, there are no people who want to.
5. Because you are complaining
Nobody likes whiners. And even the mothers of whiners who are supposed to console, stroke them in their curls and whisper “everything will be fine”, doing all this, they think to themselves, damn it, how much can you do, well, get ready already! If it’s so unbearable for you and you must certainly pour out your sufferings somewhere, get yourself a little book and write down all your bedoules and misfortunes in it. And the girls absolutely do not want to listen to the fact that the weather is rubbish, the neighbors got it with their repair, the ancestors survived from the mind, the last season of the Game of Thrones - boring things and so on, in the same minor key. And if you expect that the girl will rush to convince you and prove that life is really beautiful and amazing, then in vain. Rather, she will rush into the arms of someone who is not so painful about the imperfections of this world.
6. Because you are passive
In the most primitive, absolutely heterosexual sense. Men living on the principle of “They will come and offer everything themselves” usually naively believe that this rule applies to women. And if its threshold is still not upholstered by the beautiful, ready for all the virgins, then this is a temporary phenomenon. You just need to get comfortable on the couch, make sure the doorbell is working, and wait. Alas, this is not so. Women, like a hundred years ago, are waiting, hoping and believing that they will be conquered. And even in our harsh metrosexual age, there are dozens of hereditary “getters” for one like you.
7. Because it’s boring with you
Let's take an objective look at the situation. What, besides study / work, series and social networks, is your life filled with? Do you understand at least something really good? Are you able to talk about something with burning eyes for more than 15 minutes? Yes, even about the etymology of the Russian mat or the difference between Romanian and Belgian porn. How often, talking to you, people say: “Oh, cool!”, “Nothing!”, “I never would have thought (a)!”, Etc. Women have always drawn — and will continue to do so — to those who know, are able, have seen more than they themselves. And the fact that they do not see such a person in you is to blame only for you and the meager range of your interests.
8. Because you do not love yourself
If you consider yourself a jerk, then why on earth should someone take you differently? If we choose between extremes, then the girls are more sympathetic to slightly narcissistic natures (the keyword is “slightly”). With them we, albeit on the sidelines, are always at the epicenter of attention and events. The main thing is that the cavalier’s conceit should be based not only on the fact that in childhood his mother kept saying to him: “Baby, you are the best!”, But on something a little more substantial and tangible.
9. Because you are sure that everyone owes you
The state - smooth roads and polite doctors, friends - to meet at the airport at three in the morning, girls - to hand over their phone numbers, should you stay with them for more than three seconds. Such types, firstly, usually turn out to be terry bores and egoists, who only repeat their needs, for the most part unsatisfied. And secondly, often they themselves do not know how and do not have what to give to someone who is nearby. And relationships are, whatever one may say, a pair sport.
You are interested in this question - why don't girls like me? We can console you, you are not the only one. Many young people ask: “Why don't girls like me?” Very often, thinking so, young people are very mistaken. Girls tend to wait for attention to themselves, and how to express their feelings to a guy, they know even worse than young people. So, often both boys and girls are in the same position - in standby mode. And few people know how to attract attention or cause.
One young man, sharing his feelings, said that he absolutely does not know how to behave with girls, because he does not know what they think, feel what they like and what not. Therefore, when talking with them, he appears confused and constrained. Perhaps you also have such feelings. Do not be discouraged, you are not the only one.
And the fact that you are asking questions shows that you are a thinking person.
Young people are easy to understand. Indeed, - interests, experience, feelings, perception of the world, the circle of girls' communication can be very different from men's. But, this is good! We are just different, which is why we can complement each other remarkably. Complement - not oppose each other! Remember this. Now read and remember what girls may not like about the opposite sex.
What girls don't like about men
Here we come to the first point that girls (or women) may not like in men (or boys). This first point - offensive generalizations about women. Damaged people are constantly humiliating and insulting others with bad statements. Therefore, pay attention to how you speak about women (especially in their presence). Does your lexicon contain sayings like “chicken is not a bird - a woman is not a man” or something about “all of you are like that ...” Having heard unflattering reviews about themselves, girls are unlikely to be glad of such communication, rather they will try to stay away from the sources of these statements . Here we gradually proceed to the second point.
Point Two - Rough Speech . Most of the fair sex and I are terribly hurt by harsh statements using rough mat and spitting (both physical and verbal). Every rude woman has “women” or “heifers” or something else, and all of them are somehow bad. Narrow vocabulary is an indicator of intellectual narrowness, laziness and limitation. Rudeness is an indicator of bad manners and cruelty. In general, your speech says a lot about you and your content.
It’s not without reason that “women love with their ears”. And so it is. The inability to express one’s thoughts is interesting and beautifully quickly makes a person gray and dull. A wide vocabulary, on the contrary. I am involuntarily drawn to communicate with people who know how to support, beautifully expressing their thoughts, who know poems, aphorisms, biographies of famous people and who can draw interesting conclusions. I’d communicate with such people for hours on end.
Point three - direct harassment. Here, I think, there is no need to explain much. Pay attention to how you behave, especially if it seems to you that you are irresistible, but for some reason you have no success with the girls. Perhaps, from the first meeting you begin to behave as if you have full property right to the girl you like. There is such a type of pestering men who try to outshine everyone and everything with their person: they speak more (almost without stopping) and are loudest than all, are disposed to argue, constantly rumble (they rumble, because it is impossible to call it laughter), they become impudent, thinking that each should be crazy about him and his proposals.
The other type of sticking guy is not so self-confident, but terribly boring and sticky. You already politely and hint this way and that, and say it bluntly, but they interpret everything in their own way and again find reasons to escort them somewhere ... They are from the category of hanging, swallowing pills, cutting their veins, standing under the windows for days and nights writing tearful poems and letters. In general, typical.
These victims will draw an image for themselves (like Pygmalion), fall in love with it, and themselves and others. The girl should because of him think in the morning which way to choose, so that he doesn’t keep watch around some corner around there. Or, what gait to move and where to look, so as not to give a reason to once again cling to, if you really had to cross somewhere by accident.
Point four - groomed. Note that this does not include natural beauty, but how you look after yourself. A man does not have to be handsome in face and body. Although girls pay attention to this, but not in the first place. Therefore, the question: how to please a girl if you are ugly, is not so important. Pay more attention to the questions: how to like a girl in general, how to like on a first date, what to do in order to (in principle) like and what not to do in order not to push away. In general, in the article we cover these issues.
So, point four - appearance (personal care). To make everything clear to you, I’ll just describe the two guys, and you turn on the imagination.
First : shiny hair, beautiful haircut, dressed stylishly and tastefully in clean clothes, a wide smile, even posture, easy gait, a pleasant smell.
Second : oily, sticky hair; jeans stretched on your knees, a well-knit sweatshirt or t-shirt; his back is stooped and goes half bent, as if he had put it in his pants; it smells of tobacco, food and sweat from the clothes, and it’s not better from the mouth, from above it can all be tightly “spiced up” with perfume. Although, a decent girl shies away from you and one of the listed smells is enough.
Please note that the PLEASANT or UNPLEASANT image becomes the image described above, it does NOT depend on height, shape, face, or other things that are either very difficult or impossible to influence. Everything described is quite achievable under certain FORCES. You need to strain a little to: walk clean, combed, in neat (clean, not worn) clothes and watch your smells, teeth (so you can smile broadly) and so on.
Point five - self-doubt. This uncertainty is evident in everything: in the absence of one’s convictions, opinions, life goals, unwillingness to take responsibility; in shuffling gait, stooped back; baggy clothes; confused expression ... Take a closer look at your reflection in the mirror. Ask those you can trust which person you are more like: unsure, self-confident, or balanced and self-confident. Ask them to be honest with you and don't be afraid if it turns out that not everything is as good as you thought. After all, you are still young and everything can be fixed. It is precisely the shortcomings (lack of something) that often prompt people to work so hard on themselves that others begin to envy their successes and experience.
I regularly get questions that guys usually address to the universe, but since the feedback with him often flounders, Vintovkina will also fit: “Why does no one love me?” And any variations on the topic (“Why do everyone have girls, but I don’t have ? ”,“ Why don't they pay attention to me? ”,“ Why can't I start a relationship with anyone? ”, Etc.) And every time it’s hard, damn hard for me to find the right words to, on the one hand, cheer up the questioner (because sometimes you really just have to wait). And on the other - to make him look at the objective reasons / habits / characteristics that prevent him from establishing an inter-gender dialogue.
In order to save myself, and at the same time them, from torment, I decided to collect in one post the most common answers:
1. Because you are too soft
I don’t think that being sensitive, shy, tactful, prudent and obedient is bad. But that's exactly what young virgins usually think. And the younger the girl, the usually more importance she attaches to the textbook attributes of masculinity (determination, bordering on cheekiness, command intonations in the voice, steel look, strong-willed chin and further down the list). To look - and immediately understand: in front of you is not just a male being, but a male, and obviously a dominant one. And qualities located on the opposite pole are often interpreted *, on the contrary, as a sign of weakness and self-doubt. And such quivering, not quite (or not at all) male cavaliers usually turn out to be suitable as girlfriends with whom you can go to the movies and watch, but to look at them without panties, thank you, somehow I don’t want to.
* Of course, this approach from the point of view of humanism (and an adult woman like me) is cruel, superficial, even stupid. But young girls are often just such - superficial, stereotypically minded and, frankly, heartless creatures.
2. Because you are closed
There is no greater torture than a meeting with a guy who can’t connect the two words, squinting and sneering at you, as if you made a scarecrow from his favorite dachshund, and answers any question as if his every “Ummm ...” would certainly used against him. Firstly, because a girl usually tunes in to what it is her will entertain and captivate. And when in the end she herself is forced to pull on herself the whole conversation and act as an animator, this, frankly, is a bummer. Secondly, the society of the silent and is always a great test for female self-esteem. Perhaps she understands the head that the problem is not in her, but in you (and the fact that, hanging for days / weeks / months in some social network, you are corny weaned off - or maybe you never knew how - to communicate in real life). But somewhere deep inside, anyway, a worm of doubt turns around: what if you're really charming and eloquent, but you behave like that with her because you simply don't like her enough? And women, whatever one may say, prefer the society of the one who is crazy about them. And does not hide it.
3. Because you are rude
Including and especially in relation to girls. You are rude to them, go ahead, tease and just try to humiliate them whenever possible. Testicles would be good for someone who convinced you that women love being mixed with mud. Take my word for it: they don’t like it. Maybe at first it seems charmingly eccentric and even exciting to some of my gender sisters. But then, without fail, the realization comes that you behave this way not from excess power, but, on the contrary, from powerlessness.
4. Because you criticize
The ability to find out a spoonful of something that smells bad and inedible in everything (“Cute? So, surely a fool or a slut,” “Wages increased by 10%? Well, but prices rose by 20”, etc.), in principle, useful for life skill. It is well known that the less you wait, the less disappointed you are at the end. But this skill is good only for its owner. Everyone else (and girls in particular) in the society of such negatives will sooner or later become uncomfortable. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to give a chance to a guy who clearly has "vision" problems, there are no people who want to.
5. Because you are complaining
Nobody likes whiners. And even the mothers of whiners who are supposed to console, stroke them in their curls and whisper “everything will be fine”, doing all this, they think to themselves, damn it, how much can you do, well, get ready already! If it’s so unbearable for you and you must certainly pour out your sufferings somewhere, get yourself a little book and write down all your bedoules and misfortunes in it. And the girls absolutely do not want to listen to the fact that the weather is rubbish, the neighbors got it with their repair, the ancestors survived from the mind, the last season of the Game of Thrones - boring things and so on, in the same minor key. And if you expect that the girl will rush to convince you and prove that life is really beautiful and amazing, then in vain. Rather, she will rush into the arms of someone who is not so painful about the imperfections of this world.
6. Because you are passive
In the most primitive, absolutely heterosexual sense. Men living on the principle of “They will come and offer everything themselves” usually naively believe that this rule applies to women. And if its threshold is still not upholstered by the beautiful, ready for all the virgins, then this is a temporary phenomenon. You just need to get comfortable on the couch, make sure the doorbell is working, and wait. Alas, this is not so. Women, like a hundred years ago, are waiting, hoping and believing that they will be conquered. And even in our harsh metrosexual age, there are dozens of hereditary “getters” for one like you.
7. Because it’s boring with you
Let's take an objective look at the situation. What, besides study / work, series and social networks, is your life filled with? Do you understand at least something really good? Are you able to talk about something with burning eyes for more than 15 minutes? Yes, even about the etymology of the Russian mat or the difference between Romanian and Belgian porn. How often, talking to you, people say: “Oh, cool!”, “Nothing!”, “I never would have thought (a)!”, Etc. Women have always drawn — and will continue to do so — to those who know, are able, have seen more than they themselves. And the fact that they do not see such a person in you is to blame only for you and the meager range of your interests.
8. Because you do not love yourself
If you consider yourself a jerk, then why on earth should someone take you differently? If we choose between extremes, then the girls are more sympathetic to slightly narcissistic natures (the keyword is “slightly”). With them we, albeit on the sidelines, are always at the epicenter of attention and events. The main thing is that the cavalier’s conceit should be based not only on the fact that in childhood his mother kept saying to him: “Baby, you are the best!”, But on something a little more substantial and tangible.
9. Because you are sure that everyone owes you
The state - smooth roads and polite doctors, friends - to meet at the airport at three in the morning, girls - to hand over their phone numbers, should you stay with them for more than three seconds. Such types, firstly, usually turn out to be terry bores and egoists, who only repeat their needs, for the most part unsatisfied. And secondly, often they themselves do not know how and do not have what to give to someone who is nearby. And relationships are, whatever one may say, a pair sport.
Questions: " is there something wrong? Why don't I have a girlfriend? why girls don't like me»Almost all guys are asked in certain life situations, for example in youth, due to inexperience. In this article, we will talk only about guys and about a possible problem that girls cannot like them about.
Oddly enough, this question is asked not only by those guys who have clearly expressed problems in appearance or behavior (lack of self-confidence). But also those who at first glance everything is in order. It seems that they look good, and the sense of style is in place, and the girls easily find a common language, but they can not seduce them and build a long relationship.
They cannot give something important that any girl needs, and after the girl understands this, the sazu without hesitation throws this guy. And all that he is capable of is a fleeting acquaintance, which can last a maximum of a week. What is the matter here, at first glance, it is very difficult to determine.
But in fact, as it turned out, there is nothing complicated here. The guys just didn’t ask anyone but themselves what was wrong with them, and even if they did, they couldn’t get a normal and all-explanatory answer or were afraid to admit it to themselves. Because they asked this, mainly from friends who know him only as a good friend and, accordingly, could not give a normal answer and suggest what is still wrong.
Be outwardly attractive - This is just a plus in your favor, but do not turn it into your main advantage. After all, your inner beauty is much more important, especially for your girlfriend. You, in addition to external merits, should also have qualities that would make a girl think of you as the only person she needs in the whole world who can make her happy. And most importantly, that she respects you and supports you in everything.
It is the girl who looks and studies you from the other side, unlike the others, who is able to discern all your shortcomings. Then she realizes that she met the wrong man who is not ready to be around and tolerate him and maybe not even able to love such a guy. Therefore, she decides to end the relationship before it is too late. And it is possible that the main reason for her decision is that she understands that for you she is only a toy, temporary reassurance and entertainment, one of the ways to solve mental problems and something like that.
And what do we end up with a guy? He feels lonely, misunderstood, abandoned. He has the impression of the girls that they are all bitch, and those who agreed to chat with him, even if not for long, become ideal girls for him - although even they themselves understand that this is not so. But they, too, end up throwing it.
From this, the guy has more complexes, and he becomes insecure. However, it is becoming increasingly difficult for him to find a girlfriend each time. This is because the guy has a number of negative qualities. And they arise for the following reasons: lack of a long time of communication with the opposite sex (sometimes it can lead to depression), frequent misunderstanding of girls because of some negative beliefs or simply because of insisting on their own, literally throwing a word at the girl at the slightest hint on her part, to communicate, to use the wrong actions that betray what is the only desire when communicating with a girl, is, by all means to get her, to get ahead of events, i.e. you begin to behave as if you have been dating a girl for a long time and this scares her off, your feeling of jealousy that arises after the first meeting, and all this is based on your vision of the girl not as a beloved and future life partner, but simply as a way entertainment so that it is not boring.
Girls see and clearly feel all this. They understand that they are not an indispensable person in the life of this guy. If she does not agree to be with him, then, without hesitation, he will leave her, without wasting time persuading to find another, another ...
And before asking a question about why girls don't like you, think about whether you like you to myself. After all, if you don’t like yourself, then you won’t be able to please others, you won’t be able to make them believe in themselves if you don’t believe in yourself.
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